Wondering if my life is tough enough for my haircut.

[Cameron]

Look, from the outset, I'm gonna say, this topic is a bit personal, odd, and, at first glance, superficial.  But bear with me.  Its only my 2nd post, after all.

I've been struggling slightly with something, and I realized this is the perfect place to pose such a query.
I'm sure everyone on here shaves their heads for different reasons.  But it is probably safe to say that some of us shave our heads (and lift weights, fix cars, etc) to be... well... tough.  Sure, there are tons of other reasons for shaving, but getting down to it, we wanna be those guys to whom people give the pickle jars to open, the guys whose friends call them first when they get in a fight at a bar... the real tough guy's guy.  For the purposes of this thread, I will call this trait "Baldness".  Kinda like Boldness.  But bald.  Even better

Well, maybe I'm the only one who desires this in himself.  But I doubt it.  Anyway--I'm facing a bit of a dilemma in life right now.  I'm 22 and in law school.  I have, for various reasons, gone from planning on applying to be a breaking-down-the-door FBI Special Agent to being a behind-the-desk lawyer.  My life's career has subsequently lost all of its "Baldness".

Now life behind a desk is quickly becoming imminent, and my dreams of being some Vin-Diesel-knocking-heads is fading.  I worry now that my career has lost its "Baldness", so will my lifestyle; that I will eventually loose, or in the alternative, never attain, that quality in my own life.  I'm worried that I have lost any excuse to be tough.

This Navy commercial speaks to this dichotomy:

Are any of you like me and feel like the minivan guy, and not the warrior?  (Not that anything is wrong with a minivan--I'll have one soon enough, I'm sure.)  But am I alone in these sorts of feelings?  Basically, the question is, how does one keep alive one's inner Vin Diesel (or insert your particular favorite here) and still live practically?  How do you all do it?  Or is this not really a problem for you guys?

Thanks for your thoughts.  I love this place already.

[Tyler]

You could always buy a Harley or some other chopper and join your local professionals "bike gang" and wear leather on the weekends while riding in a pack.   

That or become a lawyer for your local mafia.

[BALDANDRE]

Pretty much the "haircut" has helped me keep some kind of "man-ness" when it comes to everyday living and my profession...

for cryin' out load it had to be that...

for almost 20 years I've made my living drawing girlie princess stuff and cute Disney characters..

we used the word "cute" way to friggin' much when I worked there...!!!!

Bro, the bald head WILL be your Vin Diesel ...THAT will be enough!

[StogieStang]

Once your lawyer career takes off you can still bust some heads on the weekend and have enough money to settle out of court. 

[Mikekoz13]

Cameron-

                        You CAN be all things that you desire. Your job is only one small component of the make-up of the man. I look at my job as the way to pay my bills, not as a main portion of my life. Remember... it's a job, not your life.
                        Your life is so much more. That beautiful wife you have, those great kids you may have one day, your extended families, and most importantly the way you live your life day to day.
                        Carry yourself with confidence and that in itself will let people know that you are a man to be reckoned with.
                        I'm a confident guy about pretty much everything in my life..... some see this as arrogance but most see it as toughness. That aura of toughness will serve you well in life.
                        One last thing.... the toughest men I've ever known were also the most compassionate. To me they go hand in hand.

                                                  Again..... You CAN be all things that you want to be.........

                                                 Stand tall, be confident, and the world will know that you mean business-

 
                                                                         Mike

[SLYinKC]

Cameron, For those of us who were losing it before shaving it, the attitude and "baldness" as you put it, were not my reasons for shaving.  The attitude and confidence that came with it were an added bonus and have made me love it even more.  What ever you do, you've got to be comfortable with yourself and who you are.  Hopefully you can figure that out and hopefully your job and your look will all be a part of it.

Best of luck.

[andrew]

Cameron,

I think of many lawyers as bad-asses.  One of my divorce lawyers was like a piranna.  He always had a mean look on his face and when he walked in a room he always received everyone's full attention.  Perhaps that's not the type of lawyer you'd like to be, but the bad-ass angle worked very well for him nonetheless.

[Cameron]

Thanks for all the responses, guys.  I'm glad to hear that you are able to maintain the vigor and boldness, even while living normal lives, or drawing princess characters, lol.  My wife and I will probably start trying for kids in the next couple of years--my luck, they'll all be girls.

I know this all sounds pretty silly and superficial, but its really something I've been struggling with lately.  Your responses really have helped... This is definitely a sort of issue that the students at my law school can't relate to as well as you guys.  Thanks.

Looking forward to being able to contribute to your topics!

[GASlick]

Cameron,

I own my own company along with my wife.  I find that my baldness is an asset.  People remember me very vividly, and when you do sales that is always an asset.  I also am very active in my church and most everyone knows who I am because of my haircut.  I'm fairly young as well (37) so it's not like the "old bald guy". 

It's obvious I choose to be bald and stand proud!

[Robmeister]

Welcome to SBG, Cameron.

Can I be brutally honest?  And this is in addition to the good comments from my other sly bros, not to trump them.  The dynamic, purposeful shaved look does enhance whatever you do, as GASlick pointed out.

But as far as the agonizing self-conscousness you seem to be wrestling with.....with the exception of your wife and close family & friends.....you're not that "important" that people at large really give a rip about what you look like and how that fits with what you do.

Now I say this from personal experience and evaluation.  I've posted this on another thread.  But Lemme share a little story about my vain little sister that totally changed and revolutionized my view of self-consciousness.  

She was so worried about looking silly that she wouldn't embark on learning cooool stuff like skiing, surfing, skating....all kinds of stuff.   She didn't want to look like a "beginner."  One time we went to the mountains as a family.  I already knew how to ski, but Micky didn't want to join the fun for the above reasons.  I heard my dad tell her---and it really stuck with me.  He said, "Micky, c'mon, honey....you're not that important to these people."

[Cameron]

Thats really good advice, Robmeister.  I'm sure you're a hell of bartender.  If your bar was in Nebraska, I'd have a pint or two over lunch... actually, after this class sounds even better (who cares that its 9:30 am?)

So as long as we square ourselves with ourselves, thats what matters.  I'll keep that in mind.

And I love brutal honesty.

What do you guys do to keep excitement and boldness in your lives (for your own sake)?  Or, are your kids and careers enough and leave you just wanting a comfortable Laz-E-Boy in the evenings?

A motorcycle is a good idea, I've definitely thought about that.  I bet that's a blast.  My wife was riding in a bus when it hit and killed a motorcyclist, so that might be a tough sell with her, but she'd get over it.

[Bald_Okie]

It also depends on your definition of "tough". Is it just a door bustin', hard drinkin' badass? Waking up next to the same woman for 20 years, sticking it out through the rough times, building a home, midnight feedings, dirty diapers, driving that mini van to pee wee football, sitting through hours of ballet and piano recitals, being the cub scout leader because there are no other dads to do it, giving up what you want so someone else can be happy, now that's tough!

Shaving your head doesn't make you tough. You just look sly in the process! 

[PBurke]

great post okie. i know coaching baseball for 8yrs was way tuffer than being a bouncer or a bullfighter(rodeo clown)

[Robmeister]

Thats really good advice, Robmeister.  I'm sure you're a hell of bartender. 

Thanks....no more bartending for me though....I was good at it, though, and my customers loved me

I'm actually a financial consultant.

[Bald_Okie]

great post okie. i know coaching baseball for 8yrs was way tuffer than being a bouncer or a bullfighter(rodeo clown)

I coached my daughter's volleyball team one year. That was enough coaching for me. I hung my whistle up real quick!