Help !! trying to decide if I should remove the hair piece and go bald Wednesday

[taxman193]

Hi everyone.

 I have been researching various sites and I think this is the best site I have seen with this particular issue. I have read some of the postings and found them inspirational.

First, I am a professional who has been wearing a hair peice for over 20 years. Let me say that it does look good. I look much younger, I think, then I would without it and most people (outside of my family) do not know that I wear a piece. However, I am sick of it. Just sick of it. Sick of the upkeep, expense, glue and especially sick of limiting my activities such as swimming in the water below my head for a change.

I have been thinking about getting rid of it for a long time now. I just recently got a new one. By the way, I have it professionally "installed" and maintained every 4 weeks. I know many hair pieces do not look natural but I think the ones I have worn over the years do look natural, as natural as a wig can be I guess.

I want the kind of freedom all of you have. I want to wake up in the morning without having to glue the tape and spend 1/2 hour making sure it looks good. I want to be able to just be me and go swimming etc..

Like many of you, I have worries and anxiety about actually doing it. I have a vacation to Vegas coming up this Thursday and I have an appointment with my hairdresser on Wednesday. I am seriously thinking about just shaving it all off on Wednesday. This would give me some time to get use to it and maybe get a tan on the top of my head before that dreaded day of walking into work when I get back.

I guess I am looking for more inspiration and advice. My problem is, I just don't know how I would look without it. I have a great fear that I will suddenly age and that my head may not be symmetrical enough to pull it off. There is no turning back. I can't wear the piece without side hair so if I shave on Wednesday, that's it. I can't put it back on if I don't like it.

I keep looking around at all the bald men I see on the street and think to myself, some look really great and others .. not really. Which would I be?

I think everyone of you can understand. This may seem like a meaningless decision to most but to me, it is life changing and again, there would be no turning back. It just seems that if I am going to do it, now would be the time while I am on vacation to try to tan it and work out the kinks. Otherwise, I might as well wait until I retire in 8 years ( I am 48 now .. will be 55 when I retire from this job).

If I were to do it, should I grow hair on my face ?

From what I see it appears that most good looking bald guys look good because either they have a big bulky body to do along with the bald head or they have a goatee. I am not a fan of a goatee but wouldn't mind wearing a 2 day stubble on my face if it would complement and take away from people looking at my head.

Please .. I know there are other posts here and I am continuing to read them to get the courage I need to just do it but I would like some direct inspiration and advice from anyone who has worn a hair piece and suddenly made the drastic change to being bald.

I am married and my son just graduated from high school. I can deal with my son and my wife is supportive either way. It is more an issue with me. I still want to look good. I think with the piece I am very good looking and often have women approach me. Not that this should change but still .. that is my fear, that I will look much older. And of course, there is the fear of how my coworkers and employees will react.

Don't know what to do.

Let me also add:

After 20 plus years of wearing a piece, I do not have any hair on top. This is part of my concern. It would be very noticeable and a shock to most of my coworkers who never even knew I had thinning hair much less no hair on top. The bald looks seems to work better when you have shadow on top. I think that’s why I am thinking about doing it now before my vacation to Vegas on Wednesday so I can get a tan on top.

Do you think you have to have hair on your face if you are bald?

I really do want to shed the rug but concerned about how I will look. Will it age me to much? Will women stop talking to me?

Also, from what I have read it appears there is some maintenance involved with keeping your head bald including possibly shaving every day to avoid he “shadow” look, conditioning your head and keeping it colored. If so, how does this compare to the maintenance involved with a hair piece? If it’s the same, what is the point?

Has anyone who has worn a hair piece and went bald had second thoughts about it ( be honest) ? Does anyone regret it ? Once I shave the side of my hair, that’s it, can’t go back to wearing a piece which makes this decision so much harder.

Let me clear, I really do want to get rid of it and be free. I just don’t know if I should wait it out 8 more years until I retire from this job ( I am 48 now) or do it now. In many ways, I can’t stand the thought of wearing it for 8 more years and now seems like the right time for me before this vacation when I can tan and get use to it and just because I have had enough of wearing a piece. But it does look good….

Help !

[Daven]

SERIOUSLY?  REALLY? YOU COME TO A BALD GUY'S SITE TO ASK IF WE THINK YOU SHOULD DITCH THE RUG???

Ok then if you ARE serious, let me predict the future of this thread, EVERY one of the guy's here WILL tell you to with the rug, and why wait until Wednesday?  Is there a full moon that night? GO FOR IT NOW!!!!! 

You WILL feel SO much better, more confident, and over all love the sly look.  Admit it, how often do you have a conversation with anyone and wonder "Does he/she know I'm wearing a rug? 

It's not worth it. Just remove it (or have it removed) shave sly and LOVE IT!!!!!!!

(didn't mean to sound sarcastic or rude, but I LOL'd that you might expect someone to endorse the rug on this site. BTW, POST A PICTURE of you with the piece on, We always ask to see pic's of rug's, and NOBODY posts one but you say it looks good, prove it.

[taxman193]

I did come to this site because I read it for awhile and thought everyone had some great comments and thought I could get the courage I needed to actually go through with it.

Yes I am very serious.

Yes, you are right, I often have conversations, esepecially with new people and wonder if they notice my hair or what they are thinking. But I have to be honest and say, most people don't know. That's just the truth.

The reason I am waiting until Wednesday is because I have my usual hair appointment and I go on vacation on Thursday so I would not have to go to work and it would give me 7 days to get use to it and get tan on the top of my head before I have to walk into work with this drastic change.

I will post a picture let me find out how to do that.

If you think I am not serious or some kind of hair person spoke person .. no way. I hate the thing. Have for a long time. I want to get rid of it believe me.

Let me add some more information so you know my thought process.

First, I have read many of your postings and they are great and provide inspiration to me. After reading a couple in particular, I had myself convinced that I need to do this now and it would be great. That freedom that everyone talks about and I want so badly.

In my mind, there are pros and cons. There are obviously a lot of pros which you have all mentioned and I will repeat but first the cons:

Cons:

1)   My wife has never seen me without hair. She has never seem me with a receding hair line. From the time I met her I had a full head of hair .. albeit fake hair.
Don’t get me wrong she is extremely supportive and wants me to do what is best for me. However, my wife is gorgeous and turns every man’s had. With hair, we make a good looking couple as many people have told us. She says that no matter what I have a good face and she finds bald men sexy. However, she has never known me without hair and it would be a drastic change. I realize that any women that only cares about a man because of his hair is superficial but there is a realty to it in that no matter what you have to be attracted to your spouse/girlfriend. I simply don’t know if I will still be attractive if I go bald.

2)   The fear of reaction from colleagues. I know many of you have written about this and it is not my biggest fear since to be honest, they will get over it and they are not my primary concern in life. It will be a shock but I can get over whatever their reaction is.
3)   Instant aging. For many bald men, they actually look younger I think then if they had hair but for most of us, going from a full head of hair to bald will age me. Not that I am that concerned about looking older, maybe it is time I look my age, but still, I will miss the young men and women treating me as if I am in their age range.
4)   The unknowns. What if I have a terrible head shape? What if I end up with bumps as many of you commented on? What if that “shadow” of my u-horn shaped receding hair line never goes away? What if …. For me that whole 30 day challenge will never work because once the sides of my hair are shaved, that’s it, I can never go back to wearing a hair piece. What I mean by that is, I can’t just put it back on and go to work. Once I shave, I would never go back. I went through that 20 plus years ago and would never do it again. If I go to work once with a bald head, that’s it. So this is a decision that will affect me forever and there is no trial period. Unlike many of you who just had a increasingly receding hair line, I have a full head of fake hair and the contrast will be drastic to say the least.


Pros

1)   Saving on the cost
2)   No maintenance !!
3)   No more gels, mouse, tape, adhesive etc..
4)   I can finally be me !!
5)   I can swim without worry that my fake hair goes dead on my head and looks obvious !! I can swim !!!
6)   Save time in the morning
7)   So many other pros


Obviously he pros outnumber the cons in terms of the number of items but it all comes down to how you weigh those items. Are the cons weighted to heavy to exceed the large list of pros?

 

[taxman193]

Okay, picture posted but be honest, if you think it looks good and I would not look good bald, please say so. On the other hand, if you think I would look fine bald then let me know since that's why I am hear.. to get the inspiration and courage I need to just get rid of the damn thing. Again, I think anyone who has worn a piece, at least a decent one, agees that going bald is a drastic change. Much harded then someone that shaves from a receeding hair line.

Trust if, If bald was accepted as it is now 20 years ago I would have never gone with a hair piece. I wish I didn't but I have been wearing it for 20 plus years so not that easy to just shed it.

[Noodles]

GIVE YOUR SCALP THE FREEDOM IT DESERVES!!!

                                            DITCH THE RUG!!

                  

Your scalp will thank you in more ways then you could possibly imagine....

 - Cap'n Noodles -

[Razor X]

Go for it.  You clearly want to.  I wouldn't worry about it aging you and I wouldn't worry about people suddenly noticing that you have no hair on top.  Most people are not that observant -- which is the same reason most of them haven't noticed you're wearing a hairpiece.  I don't think that every hairpiece is immediately obvious to the entire world -- the really bad ones are, but I'm sure that there's plenty of them that escape our notice every day.  I have no doubt that you've managed to fool most of your colleagues, but -- and I mean this with all due respect and with no intention to cause you any offense -- that hairline is too low for a man your age and that alone is enough to cause suspicion.  Most people probably aren't observant enough to notice, but there are some out there who are -- and you never know how many people aren't fooled.  That's the problem with hairpieces -- the constant worry of wondering if anyone has noticed it isn't real.  By going sly, you free yourself from all of that.  You're clearly unhappy wearing it and that alone is reason enough to stop, regardless of what anybody else thinks.

You're getting ready to go on vacation.  There's no better time to do it.  You'll be amazed at how many people will greet the change with complete indifference.  Nobody believes that will be the case until they actually experience it.

Good luck and keep us posted on how you make out.

[taxman193]

Thanks Razor X ! I have to say, I have read a few of your posts and you are very encouraging. I still don't if I can do it but your right, I absolutely want to and Wednesday, before the vacation seems like the right time. Your also right, I am sure some people do know and can tell that I wear a hair piece. I am not that naive about it just concerned on what I would like like with no hair.

Thanks

[Razor X]

You can do it.  We all have the same concern -- even those of us who never wore a piece. I'd been thinning and receding for a good long time -- very gradually, but I really wasn't sure if it was as obvious to the rest of the world as it was to me.  I was worried about shaving because there would probably be no going back because it would take forever to get decent coverage on top again given the state of my thinning hair.

Trust me, it was a huge non-event.  Nobody cared except for my parents and they eventually came around.  You could not have convinced me that it wouldn't be a big deal to the whole world.  But I quickly found out that I'd been worrying for a very long time for no reason at all.  From the first pass of the razor, you will experience a huge relief and a feeling of peace that you  haven't felt in a very long time.  Just take that leap of faith and do it.  Sounds like your wife is on board.  Nobody else's opinion should really matter.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Well, of course I think you should go for it.  But as for the "nobody knows" I'm not so sure.  I had a dentist before Katrina, great dentist, but let me tell you when a dentist is working on your mouth and you open your eyes you get a really at home and personal look at the hair line--and all I could see was a wig!  So, it might not be that big of a secret.  Another time, getting of a plane, the guy in front of me stood up, and the seat had lifted the back of his "piece".  He looked like a duck getting ready to dump a load. 
Trust this, you know it isn't real.  It's not your own hair and the Lord only knows whose head it grew on or what they did growing it--that would be a very uncomfortable thought for me at least!

Accept it, you're bald as are the greater number of us here at SBG.  All of us are happy having accepted our genetics--and some of us don't look that bad, at least we don't have to sneak up on a glass of water for a drink.  You've thought about it, scratch the itch.  Enjoy the freedom and keep your cash at home!

[mrzed]

I really like the look of a bald guy with a beard.  Seems naturally bald guys have thick beards. They look GREAT.

I have not shaved bald yet, but I can say that the extremely short hair is so easy to care for and keep looking good. Bald would be about the same.  

Just look at Stanley Tucci.  He looks Great bald.  You will too.

I have a fellow at work. He has a full head of hair, but it is white. I think that he looks like an OLD man even though he is in his late 30s.  On the other hand, I don't think that bald guys necessarily look that much older.  Anyone can shave bald or be bald at nearly any age. White hair on the other hand is almost always associated with being old. It should not make you look older. Beside, you won't act older.  You'll still be you.

[taxman193]

All great comments and I appreciate it. I will keep looking on this post for comments before my appointment on Wednesday. I have a feeling it will be a split decision at the time she pulls off my rug for service.

Too funny about the dentist. I know that's true because the cleaning lady always gives that surprise look when she cleans my teeth. How can she not know. And I have a dentist apt Wednesday before my hair apt.

So you all agree you need facial hair to make it work?

[mrzed]

I would not say that you NEED facial hair to make it work, but I think it certainly looks very sharp!  Of course, I'm a bit partial. I've had my beard since 1980. Would not be without it. 

--------------

On a side note, I visited a synagogue this past weekend. The Rabbi complemented me on my beard!  (He had one too). 

[mrzed]

Also, take a look at the profile pictures of the guys who have responded. They all have some sort of facial hair! At least a mustache.

[Daven]

1) you don't need facial hair to make it work

2) NONE OF US KNEW what our head shape was before we shaved it

3) take your wife on a nice vacation with the money you save from the system

4) you WILL look good with a shaved head in my opinion.

5) just go for it.

[Razor X]

So you all agree you need facial hair to make it work?

Not necessarily.  Everyone is different.  Have fun and experiment a little.