Help !! trying to decide if I should remove the hair piece and go bald Wednesday

[Papa Don]

Hello and welcome Taxman.  I hope you can find happiness with your decision.  Almost everyone on this forum has faced the same decision that you are contemplating.  My suggest is to do what you think will make you happy.  Yes the pros do outway the cons.  The most important advantage that you have is the fact that you have a lovely wife that supports you.  The rest of the World does NOT matter.  The one advantage that you failed to mention is the fact of having the cool breezes blowing over your now slick scalp.  I can't imagine how terribly hot you must be under the rug.  This alone would have made me shave years ago.
I wish you luck in your decision.
 

[Acme]

My story is like Razor X. Thining/receding top & once I did it, it wasnt't going to come back to the way it was so easy. I've been completely bald for a little over a week & love it. Love the look & the freedom. Everyone has complimented me except my mother.

I truly believe if you are posting here, you are ready & will be more unhappy with yourself if you continue with the rug. Go on and get on with your life. Your face and head shape look good. I do recommend facial hair to help draw attention away from your scalp. Then decide if you want to keep it or not.

It also helps to have a good sense of humor about yourself. If you admit it, & make some jokes on your own, people will accept you and quickly move on.

Good luck with your decision & we're here if you need us.

[banmuir]

Hi and welcome.

I don't have facial hair. My build would best be descibed as 'scrawny'! What will come across to others more than anything else is (a) your self confidence, and (b) being relaxed about your situation. Both those things are just around the corner for you! You'll keep kicking yourself if you don't do it over this break, so in addition to all the stuff you're currently agonising over, you will only be adding that to the list.

Don't work too hard at the tan -- use sunscreen. A sunburnt head draws a whole new kind of attention. It's painful plus you can't shave so there is stubble! Be sensible, the colo(u)r will even out.

The head-shape, ear-size, bump, scar, shadow ..... concerns seem like big issues when you take the plunge, but you soon realise they're not. You are you ... people will embrace that.

[chgobuzzbald]

I do have to say, with due respect, that your hair is much too thick and the hairline too low. It is very nice hair to be sure, very expensive no doubt, but I suspect most people are betting it is not real hair.

I have a friend who has the same type of piece as yourself and even a dark colored goatee to go with it. But there are days when he just cant get it right and some of the "units" he wears are worse than others. No doubt eveyone knows it is fake. But he is overweight and will not exercise so this is his way of hanging onto his youth into his 50's- oddly thick hair and only a few grey strands they weave into it to make a bit more real. Have you not seen guys, all generally younger, who shave or buzz their heads where you live ?
My advice is, with respect, spend the money you are spending on whitening your teeth to a youthful white, or get a trainer if you dont already workout and develop a toned body. That makes everyone look younger. AFter the shave no one will have the old you to refer back to so it will be easy to say you had thinning at the top getting pretty bad and you could no longer style it to cover it, so like most guys today you have opted for a shaved head. Keep it shaved smooth with a tan to minimize the shadow and no one will question you on it. You will love it.

[paragon]

So you all agree you need facial hair to make it work?

You are making it harder for yourself. You keep pondering on how to not make a mistake and how to instantly reach your next perfect look.
I'll tell you what makes it work. Whether YOU enjoy the freedom after it and whether that shows up on your face as a confident "feelin' good" smile. That's all there is. Nothing else. After going bald, you'll have tons of time experimenting with no-beard or 1000 different kinds of beards.

Worried about how others will treat you, if you would still get attention from women? Go ask Bruce Willis if he was worrying about that. Oh, so he's a movie star and he didn't have to? Well exactly. He's not his hair. Neither are you. And that would be said because the truth is that you don't have hair. We can see that you like to be around people and get attention and you actually succeed in it. So for the next 2 days answer the question for yourself... Is your hair what makes you who you are or is your personality?

The reality is that as you actually enjoy your life and meeting people now and you enjoy that people like you... your only worry is.. will they notice that you are actually hiding something and then they will know that part of the confidence was built into the rug. That's what you are always afraid of. The rug does this to you. Trying to hide something makes you vulnerable because you can't hide it always and then the confident image turns into a mask.

You are ready to start living in the freedom. Freedom for your scalp and most importantly freedom for your personality not having to hide that you are actually ashamed of the reality and hiding it. If you would be a bad person, people would leave you after a short time, no matter how handsome and natural hair you would have. Those who find you likable don't find you likable because your  hair. If they do... then you probably wanna ditch them and start hanging out with the real friends.

If you're worried of what some people who you know will think or will they mind from now on having to have the bald-and-proud you, just think about this:
Start being yourself without the burden of hiding. Start being free. Start wearing the dome. Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind.

[taxman193]

Pappa Don:  So true that at times it does get very hot under this rug and just one more pro of ditching it for good.

Acme: I appreciate your comments. Especially since you are newly sly. Still a little different for you since you went from receding to bald vs my plight, full head of fake hair to bald. I don’t understand your mother. You look great and if anyone should be supportive, it should be your mother. I mentioned to my parents that I was thinking of just shaving my head and they were all for it. Comments like “ I would do it “ from my dad and “ about time.” While they are all for it, they are not the ones that actually have to deal with the change.

Banmuir: I know you are right about the confidence thing. Even my wife said she has always admired my confidence and that’s why she finds bald men sexy because it is perceived as a confident person. I think I have always been a confident person but my dilemma is whether or not that confidence would disappear with the change in look. I know how this sounds. It’s just freegin hair but for me, I have been wearing a rug for over 20 years and when I look in the mirror, it is me. That’s who I have been. I guy with hair .. of course not really my hair but still a that’s what I see. The biggest fear I think I have is how it will change me and the way people see me.

Chgobuzzbald: Your friends story is my story. In the beginning, the “units” I got were so bulky and had way to much hair that the hairline etc.. just didn’t match my age. I think it’s gotten a little better through the years but still your right, every time I get a new “unit” it looks a little different and there is anxiety with every new unit. Your also right in that I have seen many younger men now go bald and I think they look great if they have the right toned body. I whole hardly agree that with the money I save on this stupid rug I could put more into working out and diet. I do work out now and with the exception of maybe a growing beer belly, have managed to stay in shape. But I definitely think that makes a difference. Good advice !

Paragon: I must have read your post at least three times. That’s the kind of advice and encouragement I think I need.

It is now Monday and hard to believe that I only have two days to make a final decision. I really do want that freedom. I can’t tell you exactly why I have so much fear about taking the plunge. I think it has to do with my identity. As I said, after 20 plus years of wearing a hair piece, it has become my identity. Yet, it is unnatural and not really me so why do I continue to hide behind it?

I would love to just shed this thing and never worry about tape, glue, gel, mouse, and what the next unit will look like. Hell, after 20 plus years I have some concern about that that glue does to me. It can’t be healthy? I’m sure it seeps into your skin and blood. Who knows.

I agree that I can experiment a little and facial hair and I will. In fact, even though I am still undecided, my plan is to go to my appointment on Wednesday with a 2 day growth on my face so if I do have it shaved, I can immediately try that look.

I have read some of the past posts of people that went from a hair piece to bald and have truly been inspired. After reading it and the posts above, I think I have my mind made up that I am just going to do it on Wednesday. At least I thought I had my mind made up but then that doubt seeps in again and I am back to .. I am not sure if I can do it.

So, I will keep reading and focusing on the freedom aspect and hopefully will come to a decision today or tomorrow. My wife says that I need to make the decision now to just do it or never bring it up again until I retire in 8 years. I guess I am driving her crazy.   

Anyway, thanks again for all the comments. I continue to search this site. I have been looking at the before and after pictures trying to get a vision in my mind on what I would look like.

[valldo]

Going bald is a very personal choice but it is also a beautiful choice as it  is totally and exclusively yours. Think about you, don't think about others and what these will say, it will take people who know you two days to get used to your new look.
I have been shaving my head for a little over a year now and I do not regret it at all, I like my look and even enjoy shaving. It's going to be much more natural than what you have been doing up to now.

[Acme]

I think you realize you HAVE made up your mind.  Your internal struggle is normal and I felt the same thing.  Your wife is right.  If you don't do it now, never bring it up again to her until you actually do it.

If you decide now is the time, you need to trust all the guys on this site and know it will work out better than you think.  My advice is to not treat it like it is the elephant in the room that everyone is ignoring.  Go in positive, have a little humor about yourself, and gain the freedom and confidence that this will bring you.  Like the others said, people donn't like you for your hair.  You have a week on vacation to get used to it before seeing everyone.  That's a good amount of time.  I gave myself three days which seemed like enough time for me.

Hopefully you will make whatever decision makes you happy in the long run.  Remember, you aren't the first and you're not alone.  And while this is only a website, it offers real support!  I didn't join in until after I did the deed because I had to come to the decision myselft but the support I felt was fantastic and really helped me.  Good luck and let us know what happens.

Glenn

[paragon]

I have to agree with your wife. With the vacation, now's the time. The 30 day rule is't just a "can you get used to it" stuff. It takes 3-5 days for your skin to get used to being exposed, it takes takes ~2 weeks for it to start being more even in color with the rest of your head. The 30 day rule isn't just for getting you used to the look. It's about getting that unexposed, glued, taped, tortured skin free, getting it healthier than ever, that means after a week it'll look much better than after the first shave.

That rug may have become your identity because you had to put money, time and worries in it. It becomes an identity because you try to build an appearance based on it. After shaving, you'll find out that after a few days as others will get used to it, you realize it wasn't your identity. Nothing actually changes, girls change their hairstyles many times. And for guys, Bald IS a hairstyle. And there is a big difference in balding and Bald, you can tell by yourself looking at others. Start feeling the freedom,  no more glue, no more heat, just a nice and clean head, feeling fresh all day. Get the hang of it, you'll enjoy it. Put on the same feelin' good smile like on your picture. That makes others see you enjoying it as you proudly wear the Dome. Then you'll discover that for others, your personality was your identity.

I had my first shave on July 31. That means it's actually my 30th day today. So i can tell you about it, not as just memories, but as something i'm actually living through.
Day1: looks kind of awkward in the mirror to me, it's very pale, very sensitive. but... feels sooo unimaginably good after the shave to step out and let the wind tingle it.
Day3: not sensitive anymore, feels amazing to wash it after a good shave, so smooooth and shiny (but still pale so a bit awkward)
Day7: now i'm so used to the look in the mirror that it's becoming the new me. Couldn't tan it because unfortunately got lots of pimples after once using baby oil (never again...) after shower.
Day14: Pimples gone, loving the feel, enjoying every single head rub It's where it became obvious: this is the new me I'm liking it
Day30: Should've done this years ago...  Proudly wearing the Dome, or as some guys here would say: Sly til' I die  

I think the best would be to go for it before the vacation and one you're there, enjoy the swimming and no worries with it, every day, all day long.  (Use sunscreen!!!!!!)
It's worth it even for the swimming. Go and try a Spa where they have Sauna as well. Bet you can't do that with the rug  Dive in, take a swim, take a Sauna, wipe the sweat off your head and Dive in again. And after that, nothin' beats a nice headrub from your gal'  

[tomgallagher]

Awww go ahead.

[taxman193]

Thanks again guys. The comments above really help. I think I am almost there. Man .. just that thought of being able to go on vacation and jump in the water without worrying about a wig is unbelievable to me. I have owned a boat for 8 years and never once been able to go in the water below my head.

The comments about your experiences really help.

Let me ask you a question. I have read the comments about pimples etc.. If I do go for it on Wednesday, what do you recommend? That is, I know the top of my head will be pale as hell and zero hair after 20 years of wearing this thing. If I shave completely, what should I use on my head to keep it from breaking out ? What kind of oil or conditioner? What kind of razor should I use? How often would I have to shave?

There is no doubt in my mind that if I do it, I definitely need a tan. When I get my service and she takes the rug off, it is way to white to blend in with the rest of my head and face. I thought I would probably be stuck wearing a baseball cap on the plane ride down to Vegas and will just try to gradually expose the head to some sun in the hope that it gets some color.

I hope I have the same feeling and courage in that chair on Wednesday as I do after reading your posts. Seems likes it just time to shed it. Enough. 7 days to worry about the walk into work. I know your right .. it will pass but still as the “boss” I don’t know what kind of reaction to expect although I don’t know that I really care that much. It’s my life, my decision. I can hear the backdoor comments in my head though .. “what happened” , “ I didn’t know he was bald” , “he was so good looking why would he do that “ “he just aged 20 years.” Oh well !!!

[paragon]

Thanks again guys. The comments above really help. I think I am almost there. Man .. just that thought of being able to go on vacation and jump in the water without worrying about a wig is unbelievable to me. I have owned a boat for 8 years and never once been able to go in the water below my head.

The comments about your experiences really help.

Let me ask you a question. I have read the comments about pimples etc.. If I do go for it on Wednesday, what do you recommend? That is, I know the top of my head will be pale as hell and zero hair after 20 years of wearing this thing. If I shave completely, what should I use on my head to keep it from breaking out ? What kind of oil or conditioner? What kind of razor should I use? How often would I have to shave?

There is no doubt in my mind that if I do it, I definitely need a tan. When I get my service and she takes the rug off, it is way to white to blend in with the rest of my head and face. I thought I would probably be stuck wearing a baseball cap on the plane ride down to Vegas and will just try to gradually expose the head to some sun in the hope that it gets some color.

I hope I have the same feeling and courage in that chair on Wednesday as I do after reading your posts. Seems likes it just time to shed it. Enough. 7 days to worry about the walk into work. I know your right .. it will pass but still as the “boss” I don’t know what kind of reaction to expect although I don’t know that I really care that much. It’s my life, my decision. I can hear the backdoor comments in my head though .. “what happened” , “ I didn’t know he was bald” , “he was so good looking why would he do that “ “he just aged 20 years.” Oh well !!!

For the pimples to break out, i recommend you don't use ANY oils. That's why mine happened... baby oil. The best thing is to shave it and apply after shave balm. If you use alcoholic liquid aftershave for your face, get some aftershave balm, that's absolutely necessary. The second thing you need is some face wash gel. It's better than soap or shower gel because it's designed to clean your face, and the skin on your scalp is like on your face... not like on your legs
I currently use this:

Just to give you an idea... but any face wash will do, doesn't have to a for men version.

These 2 things are the main things you absolutely need, other stuff is like the beard... later on you can try out some moisturizing toners or stuff like that.
My personal routine:
Get in the shower, just a little shampoo / face wash (doesn't matter, just clean that head), i'll take the shower.
I lather up while still in the shower That way it's instantly done without having to more time after the shower and avoids getting the whole bathroom full of shaving cream and wet.  So I lather up, shave, a little face wash and rinse again, apply after shave balm.
After you get the hang of it, it's just +5min in the shower if you do it every day while in the shower, that way you won't get it growing too much to have to shave for forever...

Be sure to shave after a shower, it softens the hair. The first few shaves i recommend shaving after the shower, not in the shower, in front of a big mirror. I used a second mirror in my hand so I can turn my back and the 2 mirrors can give me sight so I could shave the back. The first time is  tricky, feels awkward to coordinate the razor at the back, but after the 5th shave you can do it without a mirror, just by feel. Be sure to take your time the first time and take it slow. You can use the same razor you shave your face with if you use at least a 3 blade razor. If not, get a 3-5 blade razor, it gets you the perfect shave and another thing... as you have 5 blades, the force is spread across the 5 blades and you won't cut yourself.

You should shave at least every other day. If your skin handles it very well you can shave every day. Shaving every day gets it tanned fast as you won't have the shadow... you won't get it tanned if with a shadow

It may sound complicated at first but it's not. The first few shaves, take your time, and always shave after shower, hair softened up. Apply after shave balm. Go and wash hour noggin' at least 2 times a day with face wash to keep it clean and fresh, enjoy the freshness as you wash 

There is only one thing to be careful with... the sun... use sunscreen!!! believe us, this is the most important thing for exposing that virgin head...

So go on and start the countdown until you feel the fresh and clean head and the freedom 

BTW as this is actually my 30th day and i've completed the challenge, i've udated the profile with the picture
<--
Proud to be in the club, Sly til' I die 

[schro]

Hey Taxman, you forgot to mention saving some serious $$$ as a Pro when you go sly.
Take the Mrs. out more often with the money saved.

Win, Win!
Go For it!

Schro

[Laser Man]

Do not worry about work and the reaction you'll get.  As nearly every one of us had found out, it goes just fine and you will be pleasantly surprised with the number of compliments.  

When you first shave, you'll probably get bumps until your scalp adjusts to being shaved regularly and you get into a shaving routine.  Don't let that stop you because once you get past that stage, you'll have a beautiful, smooth dome.  

Don't rush the tan - a sunburn is painful and a peeling head is not the way you want to start the new look.  Just take your time and the  color will blend.

Read over the forum - we've given plenty of advice on shaving.  We've all experimented to find what works best for us and the short answer is there is no single routine that works for all people.

Lastly, your posts sound like a sly guy dying to get out, so just do it.  As we have all found, even those of us BBC, onnce you do it, you love it!

[andrew]

Taxman,

You've gotten some excellent advice from the guys.  So many of us have gone through the exact same process that you are, and I was among the most difficult to be convinced.   My wife was bugging me to shave it off for 2 years, but after 2 weeks on this site, it was shaved clean.

Just go for it.  You will not regret it.

Andrew