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#45 by KeyserSoze on 11 Aug, 2008 12:36
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To J Digory,
Ohhh REALLY?
Take a gander at SimplyRed's avatar pic on this thread, taken at North Halsted Market Days (a predominantly gay street festival, if I'm not mistaken). Out of all the men's heads I can see in that photo, it looks to me like 5 out of 8 are bald/balding/sly. And these are not old men either. WAAAAAY higher percentage than one would find in the general population.
SimplyRed, perhaps you can confirm my observations as to the vast number of gay men who are bald (or bald men who are gay).
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#46 by Sly Red on 11 Aug, 2008 12:51
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SimplyRed, perhaps you can confirm my observations as to the vast number of gay men who are bald (or bald men who are gay) as compared to the population in general.
Indeed, the photo was taken yesterday at North Halsted Market Days in Chicago. Yes, the neighborhood is predominately gay, however even though there were quite a number of bald men at the street fair there is no proof that they were all gay. I was in The Loop (the Chicago business district) a couple of weeks ago and noticed a large number of bald men in that area as well. The only statement that can be distinguished as true from these observations is that Chicago has lots of bald men.
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#47 by time2shine on 11 Aug, 2008 15:11
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To J Digory,
Ohhh REALLY?
Take a gander at SimplyRed's avatar pic on this thread, taken at North Halsted Market Days (a predominantly gay street festival, if I'm not mistaken). Out of all the men's heads I can see in that photo, it looks to me like 5 out of 8 are bald/balding/sly. And these are not old men either. WAAAAAY higher percentage than one would find in the general population.
SimplyRed, perhaps you can confirm my observations as to the vast number of gay men who are bald (or bald men who are gay).
Keyser, if people agree with your statements, is it going to make you less cynical about being a straight, bald, white male in San Diego? Drop the useless argument, and concentrate on what you can do to change your outlook and build more confidence. -
#48 by Razor X on 11 Aug, 2008 17:38
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To J Digory,
Ohhh REALLY?
Take a gander at SimplyRed's avatar pic on this thread, taken at North Halsted Market Days (a predominantly gay street festival, if I'm not mistaken).
I find it odd that you would even know that. -
#49 by BALDANDRE on 11 Aug, 2008 17:49
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To J Digory,
Ohhh REALLY?
Take a gander at SimplyRed's avatar pic on this thread, taken at North Halsted Market Days (a predominantly gay street festival, if I'm not mistaken).
I find it odd that you would even know that.
Psss, Razor, I know you were making a GREAT point..
but the pretty colored flag in the background is a dead giveaway...
NOT the few dudes with the bald heads!
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#50 by KeyserSoze on 11 Aug, 2008 18:23
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To J Digory,
Ohhh REALLY?
Take a gander at SimplyRed's avatar pic on this thread, taken at North Halsted Market Days (a predominantly gay street festival, if I'm not mistaken).
I find it odd that you would even know that.
Um, the picture does have a caption. Do a Google search and... bingo.
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#51 by Jodah777 on 11 Aug, 2008 22:35
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To paint a bigger picture; I have many close friends who always tell me how attractive I am. I flirt a lot. I don't go to clubs or bars. I rarely go anywhere because of a lack of time, energy, and money. I've had nothing but support from friends, family, and online strangers.
I used to have hair. I enjoyed having hair. It was something to mess with out of boredom. It was something to change according to what I was doing or where I had to go. I could go for a week or more without shaving my face because my facial hair used to have nothing to do with my scalp. The hair on my head needed cutting every few months, not every few days. My skin is sensitive, and even though I've been shaving my head for well over a year, my skin hasn't toughened up. I've tried so much to keep my skin from burning and bumping, but the only way for it to not hurt so much is to let it grow out a little longer than I should, just to let my skin heal up. Hair wasn't my entire identity, but it was a part of it. It was a very noticeable part. Anything neck-up is a gigantic part of how one is percieved.
I know that as soon as someone gets to know me, they'll like me. This is because I like to help, I'm considerate of others, and I'm honest. I've never had a problem getting along with people. I just don't like jumping this damned hurdle. I hate having to talk about it with people by turning it into a joke.
Would anyone here tell a black person with vitiligo that there's nothing to feel bad about? Would you tell them that anyone that can't see it as awesome is an ass? Would you tell them that "dalmatian is beautiful?" Just because a problem is purely aesthetic, it doesn't mean that there is no problem or that it can be rationalized away. We are an aesthetic world. Everything from bugs to birds to cats to humans judge based on appearance. I'm not saying that everyone's criteria is the same, but I am saying that most beings of the same species have a common, instinctual set of criteria that may or may not change over time. Bugs like symmetry. Birds like bright colors. Cats like shiny, fluffy, thick fur. Humans (for the most part) like hair on the head (among other things). I'm not saying that this means baldness is looked down on, but I am saying that it's not preferred.
One last point I'd like to make, and I invite anyone to dispute me on this with a well versed argument: I like tacos a whole lot, but I haven't joined a website. I love animals above most else, but I haven't joined a website for that either. I see on this site quite often, people constantly proclaiming how much they love being bald. It actually appears to be overly asserted. My first thought in any case of over-assertion is, "Thou doth protest too much." My second thought is, "Could Body Integrity Identity Disorder apply to shaving your head?" I mean, I LOVE to look at hot guys, but I don't constantly exclaim it on the gay site I do happen to belong to. The fact is that this is a support site. SUPPORT. For people who are down, in question, or in denial about their baldness. If there really is any benefit to not having hair on the head, please do explain, using as many words as possible so nothing is left to the imagination. -
#52 by BALDANDRE on 11 Aug, 2008 23:37
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One last point I'd like to make, and I invite anyone to dispute me on this with a well versed argument: I like tacos a whole lot, but I haven't joined a website. I love animals above most else, but I haven't joined a website for that either. I see on this site quite often, people constantly proclaiming how much they love being bald. It actually appears to be overly asserted. My first thought in any case of over-assertion is, "Thou doth protest too much." My second thought is, "Could Body Integrity Identity Disorder apply to shaving your head?" I mean, I LOVE to look at hot guys, but I don't constantly exclaim it on the gay site I do happen to belong to. The fact is that this is a support site. SUPPORT. For people who are down, in question, or in denial about their baldness. If there really is any benefit to not having hair on the head, please do explain, using as many words as possible so nothing is left to the imagination.
Hey bro...you're right...I don't go around on other websites saying "I love this or that"...
but the truth is I love my bald head and I have ALWAYS thought it was a very clean masculine look and considered it that..."a look"..ever since I could remember..
I'M bald by choice bro...have chosen to have a hairless head for 15 years because I think it works better with MY looks...and I think it does on a LOT of dudes...
there is nothing but your body features to rely on...nothin' to hide behind and I like what that looks like and what is represents...
I think a dude can look more handsome bald than with hair...not always but alot of times..
I posted these pics to show you why I think I look better bald (and most people , and wife agree)..
the first pic is the last weekend I had hair, you see a full head of it..but I couldn't WAIT to be bald again and love when I got back to ME!
Sorry you're not able to see how good a bald head can make a dude look and feel..
maybe one day for ya bro
..
THAT'S why I'm here hailin' the bald dome...because I feel it is a great look and can make a dude not bald by HIS choice see that he'll look great and even better at times with his head shaved smooth...
but that's just MY opinion!
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#53 by dog20 on 11 Aug, 2008 23:39
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You look MUCH better bald andre!
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#54 by BALDANDRE on 11 Aug, 2008 23:41
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You look MUCH better bald andre!
Thanks bro..
I can live with THAT!
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#55 by Kojack on 12 Aug, 2008 00:47
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If I could have a full head of hair I'd take it.
The fact that I don't doesn't destroy me as a person though.
I wore a system to try and hide it. Never did feel right. Never.
I can't say that I love being bald, especially when compared to things like tacos, I do love tacos for sure and here in GA they have some damn good tacos. Fact is though, I like being sly a lot more than I liked having the horseshoe. I like being able to walk walk outside without having the feeling like I should cover up. I think the sly look is slick. I really do. Do I think I'm fooling anyone into thinking I'm not balding? No. Would I sport the sly if I wasn't balding? Again, No. But see....I am balding.
That a simple fact. I can moan and bitch and whine all day. I'd still be balding.
Maybe it's all about turning lemons into sweet sweet lemonade Jodah777.
You can go through life sour or bitter if you wish.
Seem such a needless bad time though. I don't have any answers for you Jodah. It seems simple to me, I wouldn't want to go through life sour and bitter so I don't. I suspect there is no easy answer to your issue. Maybe some postive energy will rub off on you though? There's lots of that here for sure!!
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#56 by Razor X on 12 Aug, 2008 00:51
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Would anyone here tell a black person with vitiligo that there's nothing to feel bad about? Would you tell them that anyone that can't see it as awesome is an ass? Would you tell them that "dalmatian is beautiful?" Just because a problem is purely aesthetic, it doesn't mean that there is no problem or that it can be rationalized away. We are an aesthetic world.
Find a group of black people with vitiligo and ask them if they were given a choice, which would they rather have -- vitiligo or MPB. I'm betting that the overwhelming majority of them would greatly prefer to have MPB.
Self-pity is not productive, and as long as you insist on wallowing in it and rejecting everything everyone here is trying to say, you can't be helped. You seem determined to resist getting over this problem, so what exactly is it that you expect to get out of this site? Why are you here? -
#57 by Razor X on 12 Aug, 2008 01:05
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Now there's a head that just doesn't look right with hair on it. You look a lot more at ease without it. Kudos to you for figuring that out early on and being ahead of the trend. I wish I could say that I'd have had the guts to shave my full head of hair when nobody else was doing it, but the truth is I probably never would have done it without a big push from Mother Nature. -
#58 by Vash on 12 Aug, 2008 04:38
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I know that as soon as someone gets to know me, they'll like me. This is because I like to help, I'm considerate of others, and I'm honest. I've never had a problem getting along with people. I just don't like jumping this damned hurdle.
I come to this discussion late, but I have read the entire thread and all I have to say is this:
Being a bald man is not simply about the lack of hair. Think on that carefully and remember it.
Lots of people (myself included) have CHOSEN to shave our heads. Yes, I am what is termed "Bald By Choice" (or BBC). Yes, thats right, I CAN grow a full head of curly red hair, but I choose to do what others feel they are forced to do.
Though I would argue that almost EVERY bald man is BBC. Have ANY of you gone FULLY bald and not had to shave ANY of the remaining hair off your heads? Any Alopecia Totalis sufferers out there? No? Then you have joined a group of very diverse men who have all chosen to take our own appearances into our own hands and CHOSEN to remove your hair voluntarily.
This group is made up of men who have chosen to be masters of their own destinies (at least where hair fashion is concerned). And I respect and love every one of them for it.
Seriously, dude. It's ALL about your perspective. You don't seem to see the clean, sharp, charismatic, confident you.
You seem to see "the guy with no hair". So long as that is the case, you'll never accept yourself for who you are.
You are a man who CHOOSES to shave his head, instead of a man who allows himself to be victimized by nature. It's not a "hurdle" it's a simple choice. EXACTLY the same as ANY man, anywhere who chooses ANY hairstyle to flatter him in any stage of life, you have chosen the SLY look. It is a statement. "I will decide to look like this!". Just like I have personally chosen to be a tattooed and pierced man. You have chosen to be a SLY Guy.
You COULD choose to let whatever hair you naturally grow, to come in, in whatever pattern you would naturally grow it. You COULD choose to grow it and stretch it and comb it over and under and around and lie to yourself about who you are naturally. You COULD choose to be false to yourself and the world around you.
But you have chosen to say "No. This is me, my choice. I will remove my hair and become myself".
Yet at the same time you seem to be choosing to see yourself (consciously or subconsciously) as lacking or missing something that many others have (a full head of hair). But what you fail to realize is that you aren't lacking or missing anything other than the faith in and respect for your own choice to be a proud head shaving man.
I would Invite you, I would entreat you, I would challenge you to really, truly, DEEPLY accept, and love yourself for your own courage and your own choice in your appearance and for basing it not just on the word and approval of others (you refer often to the opinions of others). But to understand and to accept and to respect your own choices.
Damn it bro, you CHOOSE to shave your head EVERY time you touch razor to scalp. Show the courage of your convictions! Hair is just hair for f**k sake! it's not oxygen! It's not food! It's not essential to life. You are and can be a complete, whole, powerful, beautiful person with or without it.
But YOU have to accept it... For real.
I don't mean to be rude in any way. But you really seem to be in serious need of some self love and true self acceptance.
You've come to the right place for support. But, in the end, it's really up to you.
And Andre: "Yes, much much better bald." -
#59 by marty22 on 12 Aug, 2008 06:43
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Andre: no question that you are better bald.