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#45 by Jack21 on 28 Oct, 2010 06:46
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I do in fact teach at a very exclusive private school that serves the children of the absolute wealthiest and most privileged families in the city of Houston. You can imagine that it is comprised of highly superficial and highly materialistic spoiled kids with such a sense of entitlement that it makes a guy like me of a working class background sick to my stomach on the best of days. I drive out in my little Honda and see these 16 year olds driving out of the same parking lot in their brand new Mercedes and Porsches. As long as I have been here I have felt HORRIBLY out of place. The reaction to my shaved head just confirms every negative notion I entertained about this place. I am going to see this through until the end of the school year in June. I am reeling from the punches but I am still on my feet. I'll get through this. Thank all of you again for your support and encouragement.
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#46 by D.A.L.U.I. on 28 Oct, 2010 06:53
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highly superficial and highly materialistic spoiled kids with such a sense of entitlement that it makes a guy like me of a working class background sick to my stomach on the best of days
Just remember, almost all of these kids come from families who only left share cropping a generation or two ago--Houston is NOT an old money town that's why it has to flash and show off. In another generation at most if not these kids themselves, not knowing the value of life, much less money, nor the worth of real work, will be back where their parents and grandparents were. My father told me long ago that you must remember at all times whether you are a mouse among kings or a king among mice--Jack, wear that crown proudly. -
#47 by Troy on 28 Oct, 2010 15:54
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It sounds to me like the spoiled students can't deal with anything that challenges their perfect little world. Glad you have stepped up to the plate and showed them that a man is a lot tougher than what they're dishing out. My only advice is to keep it up and don't give them any satisfaction by changing what you want to do. Kids like the ones you describe are used to getting their way and know how to turn on the ugly if their world gets dealt a blow that they can't sass their way out of. Hang in there, buddy. You've got a lot of support in here when you need it.
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#48 by Jack21 on 28 Oct, 2010 21:30
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Thanks again for the encouragement and support. I would have had a MUCH harder time getting through this first week without all the support from you all. I almost got a compliment today. I had a kid say "I think I'm sort of getting used to it". Hell, I'll take what I can get.
It sounds to me like the spoiled students can't deal with anything that challenges their perfect little world. Glad you have stepped up to the plate and showed them that a man is a lot tougher than what they're dishing out. My only advice is to keep it up and don't give them any satisfaction by changing what you want to do. Kids like the ones you describe are used to getting their way and know how to turn on the ugly if their world gets dealt a blow that they can't sass their way out of. Hang in there, buddy. You've got a lot of support in here when you need it.
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#49 by chgobuzzbald on 28 Oct, 2010 23:43
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I am happy to hear you had a better day. I expect many of the teachers there are also just as self-absorbed as the students and their parents or are trying to be that way to fit in. Your next step is to extoll the vitures of a shaved head and challenge the kids to try it. A revolution always starts with one new idea and with one person...meaning you have to act like your true self and display how you really enjoy your shaved head. Tell them about how you shaved while in the army and loved it. Now that it is in style you are embracing your favorite haircut again and that they should try it too. When questioned just say "Its my favorite haircut".
Also if this school makes you unhappy you must make plans to move on in any case. Dont stay too long in a job you hate, life is too short. Make plans... -
#50 by Rob-Raz on 28 Oct, 2010 23:45
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Did you ever find out what bothered the one student so much that they wanted to transfer from the class? Boy/girl? Still amazes me why it would bother them so.
Anyway..after your description of the school and students....from one working class dude to another....Don't you dare give them the satisfaction of making you feel bad about your decision!!!!
These kids will get reality checks of their own soon enough when they step out into the real world. Keep fightin the good fight....because priviledged or not, i'm sure lots of these kids need a positive role model in their lives just like an under-priviledged kid...some maybe more!! You could be the guy that teaches them to look at things (and people) in a better light than they do now.
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#51 by Stu on 29 Oct, 2010 01:03
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Jack,
It's easy for me to sit back and give you advice in this situation, but honestly, you have to stand your ground. These people are clearly intimidating you for no good reason; there is absolutely nothing wrong with your choice of haircut. You look completely professional. Judging by your comments over the last few days, it's easy to see that these negative remarks are causing you significant strife. This constitutes harrassment, IMO, and you are entitled to live your life as you see fit. These co-workers of yours (presumably educators as well) really need to zip their pieholes, open their narrow minds, and get a life. And the kid who wants to transfer out of your class? That's totally ludicrous. Any administrator who would even entertain that notion, let alone allow a student to transfer classes over a teacher's haircut, is idiotic and setting a precedent that has the potential to explode into utter chaos.
Please don't let these petty people undermine your confidence or make you regret your decision for one millisecond. Hold your head high and proud. Shaving your head makes you feel good about yourself. You have to do what makes YOU happy. Life is way too short to have it any other way.
j
Jack, you rock the look, so don't buckle under all of the negativity... we have your back. I have to agree with J.J.'s comments. Even though you work in a private school, I am sure they must have a harassment policy. These days every employer seems to have one. One slight hint at a lawsuit ought to make the administration tremble. Not that you would want to take it to that level, but what you have been experiencing is BS. I can't imagine how stupid some of these 'adults' must be. These days you have to be extremely careful what you say. It goes to show you that education does not translate into common sense OR decency. I really enjoyed reading about your new found hair free freedom. It's extremely liberating to be sure, so stay strong. -
#52 by Jack21 on 29 Oct, 2010 08:01
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Yeah, the kid told me that she couldn't look at me like this. I'm serious as a heart attack. Can you imagine someone telling you that they could no longer work in the same office with you b/c of the way you look? It isn't a lot of fun. This whole thing just has me wanting to go back to the army, but that really isn't an option anymore. I'm too old and banged up. I'd end up in a damn office somewhere which would be even worse than this b/c at least here I get to leave this job everyday.
The fact that I am looking at ways to escape this place just because I yanked a cheap rug and shaved my head is ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!Did you ever find out what bothered the one student so much that they wanted to transfer from the class? Boy/girl? Still amazes me why it would bother them so.
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#53 by D.A.L.U.I. on 29 Oct, 2010 08:35
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I almost got a compliment today. I had a kid say "I think I'm sort of getting used to it". Hell, I'll take what I can get.
That's a good start. Now, if I could just get wifey to move that far--talk about tough!
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#54 by Rob on 29 Oct, 2010 17:34
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sounds like that kid's going to have a lot of problems when she gets out into the real world, if she can't accept a shaved head!!!
You look great: very professional and extremely smart, in your avatar. Keep positive, bro, and welcome
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#55 by wpruitt on 30 Oct, 2010 15:05
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Welcome Jack. And this, too, shall pass
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#56 by Jack21 on 30 Oct, 2010 20:47
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I went to watch some football with my father today. I got there, he saw me and immediatedely said "Why the hell would you do something so stupid? You look horrible!" Talk about a support network, ha? I just walked out without saying a word, got in my car, and came home.
Insulted by my coworkers, by my students, by my own father! This has just turned into a nightmare. Maybe I should have timed this transition better, but it had to happen sooner or later. The worst part is that I can't just buckle down and do my job because my job neccesitates interaction with my students who have just completely shut off. I was even ignored at a Subway by a coworker yesterday when I went to get a sandwhich. I said hello and she didn't even respond. Maybe she didn't recognize me. This is all very hard to believe. It seems like some sort of bad dream. -
#57 by Jack21 on 30 Oct, 2010 21:44
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I just had something of an epiphany in the shower. What I was doing in essence for the five + years that I was using concealers and then a hair piece was LYING to people. This reaction that I am getting is the reaction of people who are very upset at having been lied to for years. I cannot play the victim here. I made the choice - albeit that I felt forced to fit an image that was no longer me - to put that junk in my hair. I made the choice to wear a hair piece and thereby lie to the world about what I really look like. I hated putting stuff in my hair and absolutely LOATHED wearing a rug but I did it. This is really the only way I can make sense of the explosive reaction to my going SLY. People don't like being lied to and I'm feeling the blow back.
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#58 by Razor X on 30 Oct, 2010 22:02
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I've never heard of anybody getting so many negative reactions before. Spouses and family members typically are slow to get on board, but friends and colleagues are usually supportive or at least polite enough not to say anything. Students are usually very enthusiastic about this sort of thing. Your experience is very much the exception and not the rule.
All I can say is, stick to your guns at all costs. Don't empower others to bully you into doing what they think you should do. You'll lose a lot of self respect and confidence if you cave in. If you persevere, eventually everyone else will have no choice but to accept it.
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#59 by J.J. on 30 Oct, 2010 22:15
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What I was doing in essence for the five + years that I was using concealers and then a hair piece was LYING to people. This reaction that I am getting is the reaction of people who are very upset at having been lied to for years. I cannot play the victim here. People don't like being lied to and I'm feeling the blow back.
Sorry Jack, but can't let you shoulder the "blame" for this turn of events. These people are behaving badly.
If concealers and hair systems are lies...then what about: people who dye their hair, people who wear contact lenses, people who wear dentures and veneers, people who've had liposuction...all liars, too???
Said it before, and I'll say it again: You've done absolutely nothing wrong, including the concealers and the hair piece, and especially not the headshave.