Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: Vash on July 29, 2008, 05:52:17 AM
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DISCLAIMER: I know that I have tattoos, piercings, a mohawk, wear big-f**k-off-combat boots and kilts and am generally thought of by most folks as a pretty "hard core" person. I am also very well read, well rounded and quite sensative at times (Call me "Emo" and receive a free ass kicking, no coupon necessary, line forms to the left :-X).
This post will be a bit on the sensitive side. It will expose a softer side of me. Read on at your own peril. You have been warned...
As my birthday careens toward me once again like a very predictable steam train I find myself wondering what I've learned in these years.
Me being a man who spent the vast majority of my years from ages 17 to 31 (that's 14 years for those keeping score) involved to varying depths in "live-in-full-time-girlfriend" relationships (with the occasional 2 or 3 month break between a few of them), hell I was even engaged once. I can honestly say that I have learned more about myself in the last 2 years as a constantly single person, than I did in all those 14 years.
But even as I have learned so much about myself, I still have no answer to the question I am asked more often than any other when it comes to women and dating: “What are you looking for".
By this, they are asking what I'm looking for in another person. Who I’m hoping to meet and what do I expect from them.
That's a damned fine question.
It’s a question I’ve spent a good deal of the last couple of years trying to find an answer to. And It's a question that I don't think has a singular answer.
Oh sure, there are physical things I prefer in a woman. Most of us have physical things we like about potential partners. I generally lean toward women who are shorter than me, curvy, generally with dark hair and non-smokers. None of these things are "deal breakers", just what I tend to notice and gravitate towards. But "looks" isn't what I am "looking for".
Y'see...everyone seems to think that playing music in a band, in front of people should mean that I have women throwing themselves at me constantly. Well, let me put it this way; when you play obscure drums and other stuff like SPOONS as instruments in an Irish band, or in an olde tyme country blues band women do NOT often throw much of anything in your general direction, let alone AT you. And it doesn’t help that I can be painfully shy when I am actually attracted to someone.
And besides, even if they WERE coming onto me at shows left and right, that’s not what I’m primarily interested in right now. Strange as it sounds, getting laid ISN’T my main consideration right now. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, I MISS sex and there’s almost nothing I like to do more than kiss a pretty girl :@.
But I’m turning 34, not 17...
I find that more often than I am just plain horny, I am a certain kind of lonely. I miss female companionship. I miss holding hands and getting excited about seeing someone or getting a call from her. But, I digress....
I, like most people I suspect, am "looking for" different things at different times…
Sometimes I want desperately to meet THE woman. The perfect woman for me who will make my heart stop and start again. The woman who will make me suddenly understand all the mysteries of the universe. The one and only woman who can show me what all those love songs are about and why people buy cards and flowers and all that stuff.
Other times I just want somebody to sit in a bar and solve all the worlds problems with me. To play a few games of pool and laugh at each others jokes and go our separate ways smiling.
Sometimes I want to be on stage singing a love song and look into the eyes of one girl who knows that I’m singing to no one but her.
At still other times, I’ll admit to wanting someone who’ll just use me up physically for hours and leave me sore, exhausted, dizzy and looking forward to next time. A woman who can remind me what my body is designed for and teach me all about her body and the best ways to use this rampant imagination I am cursed with :-X.
But mainly, mostly, I find that I just want to spend my time these days in the company of a woman who wants to spend theirs with me. Someone who’ll say whatever happens to be on her mind at the moment, because she wants ME to hear it. Someone who'd not afraid to be sarcastic or mischievous with me. Somebody to miss when she's not around, cause even missing someone can be kind of cool.
I’m looking for a girl who’ll kiss me, just because it seemed like the thing to do at that moment, no matter the moment. A pretty girl who thinks I’m nifty and wants to be around me, talking or not. Not because I’m a musician, or because I’m a great cook, or cause I know a lot about a lot. But just because I’m me, and she thinks that’s good and cool and attractive and so she wants to be there as much as I do. Somebody to fall asleep on the couch with while watching a movie or listening to music and not feel weird about it. Somebody who sees ME past my haircut or tattoos or crappy fashion sense or whatever else might put others off of me (of course, she could find all those things endearing too, that'd be ok ::)).
Of course if all of the above women were one woman, that’d be fantastic too. But mostly these days, I’m looking for that last one I mentioned there. That’s her.
And with that, I will stop typing before I embarrass myself any further. I have just had this building for awhile now and couldn't think of a better place to put. Feel free to comment, council or advise... or not, as you see fit.
Thanks for reading.
Remember that ass kicking offer in the disclaimer :x!.
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Not sure what to say other than you are not alone.
Seems like more and more of my guy friends express similar deep reflection regarding the special girl they haven't met yet. Might be just something guys do when they get older and feel like they are lacking something they know they want.
I never know what to say to them other than "Yeah that sucks" and the only advice I could give anyone is be yourself.
I lucked out I guess. My girlfriend and I started dating when we were 16 years old. We've broken up and seperated several times (maybe 5 or 6) in all that time and went our seperate ways for a bit (6 months here, a year there) , but the only time I probably felt similar to you is when we were broken up. We've been back on for about 7 years now. She's everything you described but I have no clue how to tell you how to get a girl like mine. We met so long ago....I don't remember what I had to do to get her to notice me except maybe be myself.
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Hey Vash....
It sounds to me like you want what just about every other man with common sense wants. It's about companionship and passion. Not sexual passion, but the unabashed passion to be with a woman for all the reasons you stated.
Before I met my wife I was in much the same place in my life as you are now. I was about the same age as you are currently and had pretty much the same type of relationships as you.
So I did one the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. I had an honest talk with myself about what was wrong with me..... not the other parties in my relationships. It's not an easy thing to critique yourself honestly, but I did it the best that I could. So I worked hard on changing the things I thought needed fixing.... and I made a promise to myself of no serious relationships for at least a year. I figured if i fixed myself, the good lasting relationship i was looking for would take care of itself.
I met some fine women over that year period....several of which wanted to date me seriously..... but I stayed true to my promise.
About 6 months into that year I realized that I was far happier than I had ever been in my adult life (at the age of 34). And my life just sort of changed for the better from that point.
What changed everything for me?? I would say getting myself straightened out really made everything else a lot easier for me. AND I had a "spiritual" reconnection. This doesn't mean that I became a devout Church goer or anything like that..... it just means that I sort of re-prioritized my life so that the things that are REALLY important in life became my top priorities.
I obviously don't know you, so I'm not saying that there is anything about you that needs fixing BUT I think for many men that get to their early thirties single, things SOMETIMES need to be re-prioritized. I've seen it many times over with my friends.
Mike
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Gee Vash - I almost wanted to hug you then.
But only almost.
Hope you find the right person when the time is right for both of you.
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The "WHAT's the longest U have been without..." thread just got me thinking, that's all.
I don't want to sound like I'm depressed or bitching or anything, cause I'm not. Just sort of "sharing" as they'd say in group therapy... which this place kind of is... sort of.
I really am a pretty confident guy most of the time. I'm a natural performer and entertainer and I project that to groups of folks. Much better talking to 100 than to 1 :/O.
Maybe I'm just hitting the part of my life where this stuff starts to surface. I dunno.
I really am open to listening to ANYTHING anybody wants to say on the topic and I genuinely appreciate advice of any kind. So don't hold back ;D.
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I think what you might be hitting Vash, is the time of life when maturity and wisdom take center stage. While the physical portion of a relationship is still important we are finally realizing that there is so much more to a relationship that just that. Spending time together quietly, missing the softness of a womans touch and voice, just missing having that female perspective to times and situations in our lives. It becomes even more difficult as you get older. It has been several years now for me since I have had a serious and long lasting relationship. The women out there (if they haven't remained single) are carrying baggage from former lives and relationships, have kids and personal commitments. BUT they are still out there and looking for the man who fits they ideals as well. Keep at it. You have a lot to share bro. Some woman is going to get really lucky one day.
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Vash, keep up the search, she is out there. In fact, she is looking for you!!
My experience taught me that most of my girlfriends along the way loved me but didn't love my muscian's life style. It is hard to be away from home almost every night and the other things that go along with that. I've seen a lot of relationships and marriages breakup over that (and a lot of bands too). It evens gets harder when kids come along.
The right mate can be the best, most frustrating thing in the whole world.
Max
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I am 22 and I want the same stuff you do. I think I may have found the right girl... but she has to come by and see me again at work (since I don't know where she works now). Besides performing, do you do any other activities where you get to be around folks? I have trouble with meeting people and luckily the girl I like had worked with me for awhile. I don't know what else to say, I hope you find someone soon.
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Vash, I can relate pretty well to parts of this.
from Boots to tatts, kilts to bands... I can relate.
The best advise I can give you is to make friends with everyone you meet. Not kiss anyones ass or anything but make it a point to strike up conversation with people, find a common interest that you can both relate to.
I do this often because I feel the world is getting more and more reclusive and I like to have a sence of community. I like making small talk with people in line at the grocery store, or folks that are out for a walk in my neighborhood etc. Maybe it is because I am getting older but I realized I dont care who you are, I just know we are sharing a similar time and why make it anything less than enjoyable?
I was not always like that though, I used to be semi unapproachable just because I really didnt care if people knew me or not, I didnt care what they thought or what they had to say... "I am me, take it or leave it" is and was my mantra and realized one day, thats kinda how everyone is but how can I even make a decision like that if we all just go about our business pretending others are not there.
Once i started making it a point of reaching out to people, I found it to be very well accepted. Almost like they had a smile and conversation building up that they didnt know how to release, when the guy in line at the store (me) says something like "wow, if it rains again this year I am gonna buy a life raft", I receive a myriad of "i know, I cant believe it either, its been so crazy and my house has a leak and my laundry cant dry..." and off we go.
The point I am making (as I realize I have just typed a novelette) is that once you get used to breaking the ice and talking to people (young, old, male, female, etc.) the easier it is to break the ice with all people. It becomes part of who you are and soon enough you will find yourself talking to someone you have that "extra" interest in and your already 2 steps ahead of the game. Trying to break the ice with a woman that you are getting heart palpitations from is WAY more difficult when you are not prepared to be yourself.
Not to mention its a strange world filled with strange people and it is fun to see how much we are the same deep down.
Anyway, hope that helps some, good luck.
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My brother Marz getting it right AGAIN!!! O0
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I want that too.
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I do a LOT of what Marz just said. I think the guys that met me this weekend can attest to that.
I was in the the same situation as you and Mike when I met my wife. I vowed no serious girlfriends for 1 year. 6 months later I met my wife, which at that time was the happiest I had ever been.
Like Mike, I really think taking a year off and focusing purely on you will help you start to realize even more about who you truly are and what truly makes you happy. Once you do that, then you can find the person that will fit with your true self...and usually sooner than a year.
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I agree with Paul. What you are experiencing I think is called "growing up".
I hit that about 4 or 5 years ago myself. I am currently 37. That "got to get some now" mentality wanes about mid thirties and you start focusing on more adult subject matter. And I don't mean what it sounds like. I met my wife and we got married very young. Some people even say to young. I was 21 and she was 20 when we got married. I have had my personal ups and downs, but she has always stood right there beside me during my insanities.
What I found that works for me is what I call the "Stephen Weekend". About twice a year or so I go away by myself and do whatever it is I want to do. My wife is wonderful and I found my soul mate early in life. Not everyone does.
Keep your head up and keep doing what you're doing......one day she'll show up.
As for your disclaimer - I don't judge anyone by how they look. It's personal expression. O0 I'm not going into detail, but people have formed opinions about me without KNOWING me, so I make a pointed effort to respect everyone until they give me reason not to. Good Luck man.
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I do a LOT of what Marz just said. I think the guys that met me this weekend can attest to that.
I never seen anything Ty :*))
But seriously Vash, brother I'm in the same boat. some of our married brothers here have said that they live vicariously through us single guys, but in reality its the other way around we want what some of them have. It has been great being single for the last couple of years but at times I miss the things you stated. There are alot of things that I love about being single, but ALOT more things i miss about having someone.
Don't give up bro but don't try to dam hard either.
and if you find any extras let me know :*))
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some of our married brothers here have said that they live vicariously through us single guys, but in reality its the other way around we want what some of them have. It has been great being single for the last couple of years but at times I miss the things you stated. There are alot of things that I love about being single, but ALOT more things i miss about having someone.
Can I get an AMEN!!
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Living vicariously thru others? What does this mean? What I feel it means is you sitting around with your thumb up your ass, watching everyone else have all the fun. I dont want to be that person who lives vicariously thru his friends. I want to be that friend standing next to that friend while he is having the fun. Living life on the sidelines just isnt me. I want to get out there meet new people, do things, take risks- basically live life. The thing is too many people dont do something they just sit there and watch because they have decided taht they cant do something. My dad always told me " Cant never did anything". I guess what people feel is that they are too old to something they feel is "crazy, silly, or stupid". You are never too old to have fun and life is too damn short not to try and enjoy every last minute of it. Just because I am married and have kids doesnt mean I cant go out and have fun, but I know what my limitations are and what is acceptable. I dont want to be that old prude who sits there. I believe I handled myself fairly well this past weekend. Married life has its ups and downs just like the single life. So together as "Brothers" we will support each other.
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I I met my wife and we got married very young. Some people even say to young. I was 21 and she was 20 when we got married.
I think that is soo cool because alot of you probably do not know this. But GASlick and I both got married to beautiful women on the same day...same year. August 22, 1993. I will be celebrating my 16 wedding anniversary in a few weeks. Another thing that happend on our wedding day , it was the day that Hurricane Andrew came to visit the States that afternoon. We were at our wedding reception keeping up with the news because our honeymoon was to be spent in Mrytle Beach and at that point no one knew where it was going.
So while I am at it...and I know it is early..but Happy Anniversary Mr and Mrs GASlick....
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I really am open to listening to ANYTHING anybody wants to say on the topic and I genuinely appreciate advice of any kind. So don't hold back ;D.
The OP was pretty emo but here are my two cents.
You said that you want someone who will look past the mohawk and kilts and holes that you drilled in your face, but the fact is that women, especially those at and beyond your age of the mid-30s, want providers. Image is all the rest of the world has to make its first impression of you, and except for your subculture, yours says "do not touch". Maybe it's not fair, but it's a fact. Being well-groomed and getting physically fit will do wonders in this regard.
I may have missed it in the OP, but I didn't see that you mentioned what you do for a living. I don't suppose you're in upper management?
(you said not to hold back)
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T, this is off-topic but any chance you have studied PUA?
Just read a few of your posts and I definitely got that vibe
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I really am open to listening to ANYTHING anybody wants to say on the topic and I genuinely appreciate advice of any kind. So don't hold back ;D.
The OP was pretty emo but here are my two cents.
You said that you want someone who will look past the mohawk and kilts and holes that you drilled in your face, but the fact is that women, especially those at and beyond your age of the mid-30s, want providers. Image is all the rest of the world has to make its first impression of you, and except for your subculture, yours says "do not touch". Maybe it's not fair, but it's a fact. Being well-groomed and getting physically fit will do wonders in this regard.
I may have missed it in the OP, but I didn't see that you mentioned what you do for a living. I don't suppose you're in upper management?
(you said not to hold back)
(you said not to hold back) so I'm not gonna either..!!
just my 'two cent's worth' but not all women are shallow enough to think like that. Some of us actually want what he wants! Contrary to popular belief, we aint all goldiggers. fact!! you're obviously generalising about certain kinds of groups of females. It doesn't account for all of the female population. If I wanted to, I could stereotype most of the guys on here and call 'em big lardy arsed americans..(because that is what the world would have us believe) but I know they're not!! I don't give a crap what you've studied, you can take your studies and shove 'em where the sun don't shine! I've seen enough people that dress/ have body piercings like Vash has..and there are couples like it too!!! Imagine that!!! believe it or not, there are thousands of people out there like it! Wow!! Kudo's to Vash to actually being different from most of the other lemmings out there.
Whether you wear a suit and tie to work everyday, doesn't mean a thing when it comes to matters of the heart.
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I really am open to listening to ANYTHING anybody wants to say on the topic and I genuinely appreciate advice of any kind. So don't hold back ;D.
The OP was pretty emo but here are my two cents.
You said that you want someone who will look past the mohawk and kilts and holes that you drilled in your face, but the fact is that women, especially those at and beyond your age of the mid-30s, want providers. Image is all the rest of the world has to make its first impression of you, and except for your subculture, yours says "do not touch". Maybe it's not fair, but it's a fact. Being well-groomed and getting physically fit will do wonders in this regard.
I may have missed it in the OP, but I didn't see that you mentioned what you do for a living. I don't suppose you're in upper management?
(you said not to hold back)
(you said not to hold back) so I'm not gonna either..!!
just my 'two cent's worth' but not all women are shallow enough to think like that. Some of us actually want what he wants! Contrary to popular belief, we aint all goldiggers. fact!! you're obviously generalising about certain kinds of groups of females. It doesn't account for all of the female population. If I wanted to, I could stereotype most of the guys on here and call 'em big lardy arsed americans..(because that is what the world would have us believe) but I know they're not!! I don't give a crap what you've studied, you can take your studies and shove 'em where the sun don't shine! I've seen enough people that dress/ have body piercings like Vash has..and there are couples like it too!!! Imagine that!!! believe it or not, there are thousands of people out there like it! Wow!! Kudo's to Vash to actually being different from most of the other lemmings out there.
Whether you wear a suit and tie to work everyday, doesn't mean a thing when it comes to matters of the heart.
It has nothing to do with being shallow or gold diggers. It's simply evolution. Hominid pregnancy and childrearing are very long, so females seek stability, security, and generosity in the male mate. Matters of "the heart" are fine and dandy for the movies, but reality paints a different picture. You can't pay the mortgage with love, which is why the leading cause of divorce in the US is consistently not a "matter of the heart" such as infidelity or "I'm not in love anymore" but money.
Vash can be different if he wants to. It's his right. However, when he adopts fashion and lifestyle that manifests his rejection of the mainstream, it is irrational for him to feel hurt or offended when the mainstream rejects him.
Next time, please use more logic and less exclamation points.
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T, this is off-topic but any chance you have studied PUA?
Just read a few of your posts and I definitely got that vibe
No. In fact, I had to google "PUA" to answer your post. O0
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Next time, please use more logic and less exclamation points.
Yo, this isn't a court case where you're trying to make the other side look stupid. This is meant to be a supportive place and it's fine to disagree (I agree with you on this issue, really) but being as malicious as you were here is just a dick move. I hope you're satisfied with the size of your internet penis.
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I really am open to listening to ANYTHING anybody wants to say on the topic and I genuinely appreciate advice of any kind. So don't hold back ;D.
The OP was pretty emo but here are my two cents.
You said that you want someone who will look past the mohawk and kilts and holes that you drilled in your face, but the fact is that women, especially those at and beyond your age of the mid-30s, want providers. Image is all the rest of the world has to make its first impression of you, and except for your subculture, yours says "do not touch". Maybe it's not fair, but it's a fact. Being well-groomed and getting physically fit will do wonders in this regard.
I may have missed it in the OP, but I didn't see that you mentioned what you do for a living. I don't suppose you're in upper management?
(you said not to hold back)
(you said not to hold back) so I'm not gonna either..!!
just my 'two cent's worth' but not all women are shallow enough to think like that. Some of us actually want what he wants! Contrary to popular belief, we aint all goldiggers. fact!! you're obviously generalising about certain kinds of groups of females. It doesn't account for all of the female population. If I wanted to, I could stereotype most of the guys on here and call 'em big lardy arsed americans..(because that is what the world would have us believe) but I know they're not!! I don't give a crap what you've studied, you can take your studies and shove 'em where the sun don't shine! I've seen enough people that dress/ have body piercings like Vash has..and there are couples like it too!!! Imagine that!!! believe it or not, there are thousands of people out there like it! Wow!! Kudo's to Vash to actually being different from most of the other lemmings out there.
Whether you wear a suit and tie to work everyday, doesn't mean a thing when it comes to matters of the heart.
It has nothing to do with being shallow or gold diggers. It's simply evolution. Hominid pregnancy and childrearing are very long, so females seek stability, security, and generosity in the male mate. Matters of "the heart" are fine and dandy for the movies, but reality paints a different picture. You can't pay the mortgage with love, which is why the leading cause of divorce in the US is consistently not a "matter of the heart" such as infidelity or "I'm not in love anymore" but money.
Vash can be different if he wants to. It's his right. However, when he adopts fashion and lifestyle that manifests his rejection of the mainstream, it is irrational for him to feel hurt or offended when the mainstream rejects him.
Next time, please use more logic and less exclamation points.
Ok, first off, unless you have double X chromosomes, how can you claim to speak for the female of the species and what they seek. Perhaps that explains your personal statement of "Upper Crust" A title I can only believe is based on a feeling of superiority. Secondly, the whole idea of the sly lifestyle is to support people who are willing to step out of their normal comfort zone and exude confidence through making what are sometimes difficult choices. To slam someone as irrational when he feels offended just for being himself is as ridiculous as saying someone shouldn't be offended when they are subject to a sexist, racial, or ethnic joke. Vash, continue to hang in there and seek for someone who is openminded enough to accept you for you and not some society stereotype of what you SHOULD be
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I really am open to listening to ANYTHING anybody wants to say on the topic and I genuinely appreciate advice of any kind. So don't hold back ;D.
The OP was pretty emo but here are my two cents.
You said that you want someone who will look past the mohawk and kilts and holes that you drilled in your face, but the fact is that women, especially those at and beyond your age of the mid-30s, want providers. Image is all the rest of the world has to make its first impression of you, and except for your subculture, yours says "do not touch". Maybe it's not fair, but it's a fact. Being well-groomed and getting physically fit will do wonders in this regard.
I may have missed it in the OP, but I didn't see that you mentioned what you do for a living. I don't suppose you're in upper management?
(you said not to hold back)
(you said not to hold back) so I'm not gonna either..!!
just my 'two cent's worth' but not all women are shallow enough to think like that. Some of us actually want what he wants! Contrary to popular belief, we aint all goldiggers. fact!! you're obviously generalising about certain kinds of groups of females. It doesn't account for all of the female population. If I wanted to, I could stereotype most of the guys on here and call 'em big lardy arsed americans..(because that is what the world would have us believe) but I know they're not!! I don't give a crap what you've studied, you can take your studies and shove 'em where the sun don't shine! I've seen enough people that dress/ have body piercings like Vash has..and there are couples like it too!!! Imagine that!!! believe it or not, there are thousands of people out there like it! Wow!! Kudo's to Vash to actually being different from most of the other lemmings out there.
Whether you wear a suit and tie to work everyday, doesn't mean a thing when it comes to matters of the heart.
It has nothing to do with being shallow or gold diggers. It's simply evolution. Hominid pregnancy and childrearing are very long, so females seek stability, security, and generosity in the male mate. Matters of "the heart" are fine and dandy for the movies, but reality paints a different picture. You can't pay the mortgage with love, which is why the leading cause of divorce in the US is consistently not a "matter of the heart" such as infidelity or "I'm not in love anymore" but money.
Vash can be different if he wants to. It's his right. However, when he adopts fashion and lifestyle that manifests his rejection of the mainstream, it is irrational for him to feel hurt or offended when the mainstream rejects him.
Next time, please use more logic and less exclamation points.
firstly... I'll use as many exclamation 'marks' as I like. Didn't realise you were an English professor. I'm getting the feeling that you have some kind of superiority thing going on... well... here's another exclamation mark, and you can stick that in any orifice of yours that is available... probably an earhole/nostril as your other uhm.. exit/entry points are already in use.. it's obvious to me that you like chattin' sh*t.
Evolution... oh yeah... like the monkey thing!! We all came from fish.. birds popped up somewhere.. and somehow we turned into monkeys.. then humans... yeah, makes total sense!
Hunny... I know about pregnancy... puhleeeease!! in fact, that is something that I've got on you cos I've got three kids of my own..and I didn't pop down to my local walmart and grab 'em off a shelf! how the hell you'd have a clue about it I have no idea!! Been there, done that I guess!
So people will only love you for what you have?? That's pretty much what you're saying...well I say bullshit!! it's that way of thinking that's what's wrong with the world. Greed!
Maybe the leading cause of divorce in the US is money..... but the leading cause of marriage is LOVE!! And more people stay married than get divorced... there's ya logic right there!
And please... next time, try to use less quotation marks.
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Ok, first off, unless you have double X chromosomes, how can you claim to speak for the female of the species and what they seek. Perhaps that explains your personal statement of "Upper Crust" A title I can only believe is based on a feeling of superiority.
Does an ichthyologist need to be a trout? I didn't claim to speak for anyone. I was simply stating biological fact. Female humans only get a few hundred eggs, and pregnancy and child-rearing years are very long. This is why humans are socially monogamous. (please note that socially monogamy, in biology, is not the same thing as sexual monogamy or genetic monogamy)
Secondly, the whole idea of the sly lifestyle is to support people who are willing to step out of their normal comfort zone and exude confidence through making what are sometimes difficult choices. To slam someone as irrational when he feels offended just for being himself is as ridiculous as saying someone shouldn't be offended when they are subject to a sexist, racial, or ethnic joke. Vash, continue to hang in there and seek for someone who is openminded enough to accept you for you and not some society stereotype of what you SHOULD be.
I am not slamming anyone. Vash obviously sees that his situation is not 100% awesome, or else he would not have started the thread. I am simply giving my advice as to how he might improve his situation. That having been said, I don't consider my choice of hairstyle as a lifestyle.
Your analogy is false. A person does not choose his sex, race, or ethnicity, and one's sex, race, or ethnicity is not a manifestation of a rejection of the mainstream. If you adopt a way of life that is a manifestation of a rejection of the mainstream "lemmings", you have no business being offended when the lemmings want little to do with you. The isolation is self-imposed.
EDIT: I need for someone to explain to me why all the threads saying, "You will look more attractive to others with a shaved head instead of that horseshoe/combover" are fine but it is wrong to say, "You will look more attractive to others if you drop the facial piercings".
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firstly... I'll use as many exclamation 'marks' as I like. Didn't realise you were an English professor. I'm getting the feeling that you have some kind of superiority thing going on... well... here's another exclamation mark, and you can stick that in any orifice of yours that is available... probably an earhole/nostril as your other uhm.. exit/entry points are already in use.. it's obvious to me that you like chattin' sh*t.
Evolution... oh yeah... like the monkey thing!! We all came from fish.. birds popped up somewhere.. and somehow we turned into monkeys.. then humans... yeah, makes total sense!
Evolution is a fact.
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No one can state what another person feels unless they are in that persons body, be they fish or humanoid. To claim otherwise is ludicrous. Let's just support each other through positive and meaningful exchanges.
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No one can state what another person feels unless they are in that persons body, be they fish or humanoid. To claim otherwise is ludicrous. Let's just support each other through positive and meaningful exchanges.
I didn't claim telepathy. Vash said his feelings in the OP. I thought my advice was constructive. Maybe it's good, maybe it stinks, but he said he was willing to read "ANYTHING". I haven't insulted him, but simply gave my observations about a possible source to his situation and a way to remedy it.
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firstly... I'll use as many exclamation 'marks' as I like. Didn't realise you were an English professor. I'm getting the feeling that you have some kind of superiority thing going on... well... here's another exclamation mark, and you can stick that in any orifice of yours that is available... probably an earhole/nostril as your other uhm.. exit/entry points are already in use.. it's obvious to me that you like chattin' sh*t.
Evolution... oh yeah... like the monkey thing!! We all came from fish.. birds popped up somewhere.. and somehow we turned into monkeys.. then humans... yeah, makes total sense!
Evolution is a fact.
yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.
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No one can state what another person feels unless they are in that persons body, be they fish or humanoid. To claim otherwise is ludicrous. Let's just support each other through positive and meaningful exchanges.
I didn't claim telepathy. Vash said his feelings in the OP. I thought my advice was constructive. Maybe it's good, maybe it stinks, but he said he was willing to read "ANYTHING". I haven't insulted him, but simply gave my observations about a possible source to his situation and a way to remedy it.
well maybe you should work a little harder on the way you like to put across your 'observations'
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yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.
Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.
Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)
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Vash,
I think what you want is similar to what everyone else wants.....a chance to find someone who enjoys your company and you enjoy hers.
Someone that misses you when you're gone (and vice-versa). Someone that loves you for you.
I think the idea of you focusing on yourself works wonders. I know when I was dating and went through a break up, I gave off a bad vibe (ok, a desperate one) once I finished my period of grief from the break up. Good things happen to you when you are yourself and take things in stride. The real you comes out, REGARDLESS OF APPEARANCE. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of piercings, but I know several ladies (sorry Vash, all married) that dig the pierced look on a guy. I'm sure you'll find someone that likes you for you.
Enjoy life, be yourself, stay positive and good things will happen.
Hang in there.
Schro
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yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.
Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.
Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)
yeah... because we have been studying evolution for millions of years, haven't we?!! Haven't we??? Because when we went through the whole monkey change thing... we observed that!! Which is why we still see it happening today. Puhleeease! Don't bother trying to dazzle anyone with your theories. We were talking about evolution for a start.. where the f**k did gravity come into it?!!
the only one that needs hitting in the firmament around here is you.
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Vash,
I think what you want is similar to what everyone else wants.....a chance to find someone who enjoys your company and you enjoy hers.
Someone that misses you when you're gone (and vice-versa). Someone that loves you for you.
I think the idea of you focusing on yourself works wonders. I know when I was dating and went through a break up, I gave off a bad vibe (ok, a desperate one) once I finished my period of grief from the break up. Good things happen to you when you are yourself and take things in stride. The real you comes out, REGARDLESS OF APPEARANCE. I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of piercings, but I know several ladies (sorry Vash, all married) that dig the pierced look on a guy. I'm sure you'll find someone that likes you for you.
Enjoy life, be yourself, stay positive and good things will happen.
Hang in there.
Schro
great post Schro :@` :@` :@`
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yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.
Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.
Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)
yeah... because we have been studying evolution for millions of years, haven't we?!! Haven't we??? Because when we went through the whole monkey change thing... we observed that!! Which is why we still see it happening today. Puhleeease! Don't bother trying to dazzle anyone with your theories. We were talking about evolution for a start.. where the f**k did gravity come into it?!!
the only one that needs hitting in the firmament around here is you.
I am taking this to a new thread in the Misc so as not to hijack Vash's thread.
Good luck, Vash.
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yeah, on paper, I'm sure it is. That's the great thing about theory.
Actually, it is a fact in reality, not just on paper. A theory is not a "guess". A theory is an explanation of observed facts. For example, you have probably noticed that things fall down. That observation of gravity is a "fact". The "theory of gravity" is the explanation of that fact. First there was Newton's theory, which Einstein improved with general relativity. It now is beginning to appear that the Pioneer anomaly means that further revision of gravity theory is needed. Despite this, the fact of gravity has not changed.
Of course, I am assuming you accept the fact of gravity and don't subscribe to some idea of "Intelligent Falling" where angels push everything down to keep stuff from flying off into space. (until it hits the firmament, that is)
yeah... because we have been studying evolution for millions of years, haven't we?!! Haven't we??? Because when we went through the whole monkey change thing... we observed that!! Which is why we still see it happening today. Puhleeease! Don't bother trying to dazzle anyone with your theories. We were talking about evolution for a start.. where the f**k did gravity come into it?!!
the only one that needs hitting in the firmament around here is you.
I am taking this to a new thread in the Misc so as not to hijack Vash's thread.
Good luck, Vash.
so noble of you!
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I am taking this to a new thread in the Misc so as not to hijack Vash's thread.
Good luck, Vash.
so noble of you!
Being noble is part of being "upper crust".
I'll see you here (http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=6622.0).
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no you won't.
I've said all I've gotta say to ya. other than you're a dickhead. :)
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You might not like what he says but no reason to call him names.Vash asked for coments and his apearance might put people off, he could change it for a bit and see how how he goes on.
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I may have missed it in the OP, but I didn't see that you mentioned what you do for a living. I don't suppose you're in upper management?
(you said not to hold back)
I appreciate candor wherever I can find it. So no worries there.
As to what I do. I am actually in management. And about as "upper" as it gets in my field. I am the Head Chef and Kitchen Manager at a successful and well established (45 years in business) restaurant/bar in NE Portland. I have a staff of 15 working under me and I make good money. I am also a semi-pro musician with a sucessful band in Oregon and beyond.
I just happen to be one of those lucky few who has found a an employer who can understand and reconcile that the way I am most comfortable looking has no impact on my work ethic or abilities. I am professionally quite popular with the ownership, my staff and our clientèle.
And just for the sake of saying it. I really wasn't looking to start any arguments with this thread. Like I said, just doing a bit of "sharing" and seeking advice. And thanks everyone for giving it.
I also want to clarify that I don't feel "offended" by much of anything these days. I know very well that I have made (and daily make) a conscious decision to not look like everyone else. I have no illusions as to the kinds of reactions it provokes. I'm not hurt by it, I'm not offended or even bothered by it.
I understand that my chosen appearance is (or can be) an obstacle in some arenas. But I have found that it generally works to my advantage as most people tend to underestimate my education, intelligence and personality. Which gives me an opportunity to change their minds for the better. I understand completely that I make some people uncomfortable and that some people will have questions or pre-concieved notions about my lifestyle choices. I have a very realistic attitude about this.
All I'm saying is that I am looking for somebody who cares about it as little as I do. Someone who maybe even finds the choices I make attractive and admirable.
Anyway, just clarifying, and I'm sorry to have gotten an argument going.
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Hey Vash..Personally I am not a fan of piercings..though I do have a wolf tatto on my left arm. Two things come to mind though. First be happy with YOU. If you like yourself the way YOU are great, everyone elses opinion is 2nd place. As far as a companion in life goes I know of women who are very much into piercings and appearances such as yours. Put your focus on what you want in a woman and sooner or later she will appear in your life. Just don't put focus on what you DON't want (I don't want to be alone, I don't want to live by myself, etc.) Seems the more we focus on what we DON'T want, the more of that shows up in our lives. By the way, if you have not read the book "The Secret" I would recommend it.
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....Vash asked for coments and his apearance might put people off, he could change it for a bit and see how how he goes on.
Yes, his appearance might put some women off but they are probably not the ones he's interested in being with anyway. Piercings are not everyone's cup of tea, but there are plenty of people who are into that sort of thing. No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
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....Vash asked for coments and his apearance might put people off, he could change it for a bit and see how how he goes on.
Yes, his appearance might put some women off but they are probably not the ones he's interested in being with anyway. Piercings are not everyone's cup of tea, but there are plenty of people who are into that sort of thing. No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
O0
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
I should say so. O0 Lucky for our kids, too. The kids with divorced parents I knew when I was little were always a bit "off" if you know what I mean.
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
$c#m :@`
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
$c#m :@`
Are you teaching your kids Intelligent Falling or gravity?
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Hi Vash!
I enjoy reading your posts. You're a good man who wants a good woman. Your heart will tell you when the right one comes along. Just enjoy yourself, and when you least expect it, she will be there!!! O0
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I have always found that the image we choose to wrap ourselves in is not only a visual depiction of our inner personality but also as somewhat of a filter to potential mates.
Sure, Vash could dress up in the typical mall garb, remove his piercings and appear to be more benign. That may give off a more approachable signal to others... it may make him appear as more of a provider but what is really gained from such false pretenses? Alot of time and effort peeling the onion to find out the impending result... incompatibility.
Why dawn some sort of fashion subterfuge in order to "land a mate"? Doesn't his piercings, tattoos, kilts, boots and Bodran tell the world in some part, who he is and what he represents? Is he doing himself a disservice by thwarting off the women that find these things unattractive, or is he filtering out certain incompatibilities up front?
I don't know the statistics of breakups and divorce, but I do know that successful relationships begin with being yourself.
I have much more respect for those that are themselves all the time as opposed to the gap clad drone that landed the "perfect wife".
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
I should say so. O0 Lucky for our kids, too. The kids with divorced parents I knew when I was little were always a bit "off" if you know what I mean.
A bit off???? hmmm ..never mind...not worth it.
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I have always found that the image we choose to wrap ourselves in is not only a visual depiction of our inner personality but also as somewhat of a filter to potential mates.
Sure, Vash could dress up in the typical mall garb, remove his piercings and appear to be more benign. That may give off a more approachable signal to others... it may make him appear as more of a provider but what is really gained from such false pretenses? Alot of time and effort peeling the onion to find out the impending result... incompatibility.
Why dawn some sort of fashion subterfuge in order to "land a mate"? Doesn't his piercings, tattoos, kilts, boots and Bodran tell the world in some part, who he is and what he represents? Is he doing himself a disservice by thwarting off the women that find these things unattractive, or is he filtering out certain incompatibilities up front?
I don't know the statistics of breakups and divorce, but I do know that successful relationships begin with being yourself.
I have much more respect for those that are themselves all the time as opposed to the gap clad drone that landed the "perfect wife".
very well said marz. vash, be you brother.
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
$c#m :@`
Are you teaching your kids Intelligent Falling or gravity?
Neither, I'm going to teach my kid to beat up your kid. :x!
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
I should say so. O0 Lucky for our kids, too. The kids with divorced parents I knew when I was little were always a bit "off" if you know what I mean.
What do YOU mean by a bit "off"? :/O
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
$c#m :@`
Are you teaching your kids Intelligent Falling or gravity?
Neither, I'm going to teach my kid to beat up your kid. :x!
Good luck with all that. O0
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I have always found that the image we choose to wrap ourselves in is not only a visual depiction of our inner personality but also as somewhat of a filter to potential mates.
Sure, Vash could dress up in the typical mall garb, remove his piercings and appear to be more benign. That may give off a more approachable signal to others... it may make him appear as more of a provider but what is really gained from such false pretenses? Alot of time and effort peeling the onion to find out the impending result... incompatibility.
Why dawn some sort of fashion subterfuge in order to "land a mate"? Doesn't his piercings, tattoos, kilts, boots and Bodran tell the world in some part, who he is and what he represents? Is he doing himself a disservice by thwarting off the women that find these things unattractive, or is he filtering out certain incompatibilities up front?
I don't know the statistics of breakups and divorce, but I do know that successful relationships begin with being yourself.
I have much more respect for those that are themselves all the time as opposed to the gap clad drone that landed the "perfect wife".
very well said marz. vash, be you brother.
YEP !!! Here, Here !!!
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
$c#m :@`
Are you teaching your kids Intelligent Falling or gravity?
Neither, I'm going to teach my kid to beat up your kid. :x!
I see you finally taught your kid to fight..lol..
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi255.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh157%2FTimmj%2Fshriner.jpg&hash=b73b1ff960c69b47777b7afc9ecd38cbf7de5b58)
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LMAO ;D
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No relationship is ever going to last if one party has to fundamentally change who they are to make it work.
While I mostly agree with this, that was not my point. I was talking about the first impression that one makes before one starts a relationship.
Men tend to enter relationships thinking that the woman will never change. Women tend to enter relationship thinking that the man will change. Both are wrong.
Well, your wife/girlfriend is one lucky lady to be with a man that's both an evolution and relationship expert.
$c#m :@`
Are you teaching your kids Intelligent Falling or gravity?
Neither, I'm going to teach my kid to beat up your kid. :x!
I see you finally taught your kid to fight..lol..
(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi255.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh157%2FTimmj%2Fshriner.jpg&hash=b73b1ff960c69b47777b7afc9ecd38cbf7de5b58)
Well duh, that's one of the chumps from Zenobia in Ohio. What else can you expect from a midwestern rube?
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Nice photo there Timmy. Anyone you know?
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NO but I think we are all about to "know him"
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Well, I don't really know how I missed this thread or the antagonistic posts...but Vash doesn't seem like he's being "emo" to me. And he didn't really come across as saying he was really wondering why the world wouldn't see past his fashion sense.
Vash, man...I can sympathize with your topic because I'm pretty much in the same spot. For the most part I am content in my life and with being single...I'm certainly not depressed about it. But I do find some longing...some days more than others. Longing for a woman to share my life with, not just a bed.
And for the record, I don't think Vash's feelings were hurt by Tanizaki at all. As much as he was trying to be rude, it mostly came across as a bitter kid trying to make other people feel as small as he does. It is good to know we don't have to rely on the thoughts of any actual women but can instead trust in the ever potent knowledge and wisdom of our in-house master of Women's Studies.
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(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi255.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh157%2FTimmj%2Fchest.jpg&hash=ae7631fc299b67f906c67edbe3690bc92c43b8e0)
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Well, I don't really know how I missed this thread or the antagonistic posts...but Vash doesn't seem like he's being "emo" to me. And he didn't really come across as saying he was really wondering why the world wouldn't see past his fashion sense.
Vash, man...I can sympathize with your topic because I'm pretty much in the same spot. For the most part I am content in my life and with being single...I'm certainly not depressed about it. But I do find some longing...some days more than others. Longing for a woman to share my life with, not just a bed.
And for the record, I don't think Vash's feelings were hurt by Tanizaki at all. As much as he was trying to be rude, it mostly came across as a bitter kid trying to make other people feel as small as he does. It is good to know we don't have to rely on the thoughts of any actual women but can instead trust in the ever potent knowledge and wisdom of our in-house master of Women's Studies.
Slinging hash and living in someone's basement does not bring all the girls to the yard. You don't have to be a master of anything to know that.
Well, maybe Vash.
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Slinging hash and living in someone's basement does not bring all the girls to the yard. You don't have to be a master of anything to know that.
Well, maybe Vash.
As more clarification seems to be needed. I neither "sling hash" nor "live in someone's basement".
While those have, in fact been prior states of existence for me. Neither is current. The restaurant I work at is actually fairly high end. And while we do offer American fare such as specialty hamburgers, we also offer a very nicely appointed Chicken Marsala, Capalini Del La Casa, Penne Arabiata, hand cut steaks (featuring a Top Sirloin Au Poive with frsh vegetable and potato du jour) and freshly made soups. We've even won a few local awards for our food.
Though, to be fair, some of my breakfast staff does, in fact "sling hash", literally. A very nice, corned beef hash, made fresh daily. :)
I also have an apartment all my own. Which seems fairly self-explanatory.
Just want to keep the discussion current and accurate. O0
But, you know what? It doesn't really need to remain current or accurate. While I really appreciate all the constructive input I've gotten in this thread. I think that posting it in the first place was a bit of a mistake as I have simply grown tired of the consistent and willful irritation it seems to produce.
So, if anyone has any other constructive advice or input for me (the guy seeking input and advice) on this topic, please just PM it to me. I started this mess and I'd appreciate it if everyone would just let this thread die off.
I, personally won't be reading it anymore. No harm, no foul, just done with the drama.
Thanks again. :)
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Slinging hash and living in someone's basement does not bring all the girls to the yard. You don't have to be a master of anything to know that.
Well, maybe Vash.
As more clarification seems to be needed. I neither "sling hash" nor "live in someone's basement".
Kudos to you Vash for taking the high road in your response.
Tanazaki, since you've been here, you've claimed to never insulted anyone.
Maybe I'm thinned skinned and Vash is a better man than I am, but I would take the terms you used in reference to my chosen career and living situation as an insult.
One person that I met during my college days that I'll never forget is the brother of an owner of a pizza restaurant that I worked at during the summers of my college days. He was a great guy, treated everyone with respect, had a great sense of humor, lived in an immaculate home (not a mansion, but not a slum home either), had an incredibly gorgeous wife (and I mean GORGEOUS), and played golf twice a week (on weekdays no less). Playing on weekdays and living where he did, you would think he was a high paid executive or was independently wealthy (financially......he was already wealthy to me in other facets of life). Well, he was neither....he was a sanitation worker. Life lesson well learned. Never judge a book by it's cover.
Respectful & happy in life. I still think of this guy (his name is Ron) when I'm going through a difficult spell.
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SCHRO....LISTEN UP! HE ISNT INSULTING...HE IS ANALYZING! Thats all he does is analyze people.
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Well, I don't really know how I missed this thread or the antagonistic posts...but Vash doesn't seem like he's being "emo" to me. And he didn't really come across as saying he was really wondering why the world wouldn't see past his fashion sense.
Vash, man...I can sympathize with your topic because I'm pretty much in the same spot. For the most part I am content in my life and with being single...I'm certainly not depressed about it. But I do find some longing...some days more than others. Longing for a woman to share my life with, not just a bed.
And for the record, I don't think Vash's feelings were hurt by Tanizaki at all. As much as he was trying to be rude, it mostly came across as a bitter kid trying to make other people feel as small as he does. It is good to know we don't have to rely on the thoughts of any actual women but can instead trust in the ever potent knowledge and wisdom of our in-house master of Women's Studies.
Slinging hash and living in someone's basement does not bring all the girls to the yard. You don't have to be a master of anything to know that.
Well, maybe Vash.
Pretending to be a man and thinking you're better than you really are doesn't exactly befriend anyone to you. You don't need to be a lawyer, or even claim to be one to know that.
Then again, perhaps it works well for "Tanizaki".
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Perhaps....but I wouldn't bet on it.
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I think Tan just needs to learn the term....the need to agree to disagree. Like it was said in another post...its not that we all cant agree on his theories...that stuff happens everyday...he just needs to stop analyzing people...is that were the term ANAL come from? Can you answer that one straight up Tan or do you need to run to your encyclopedia to find the answer?
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Vash, buddy, I'm there with you. It ain't about sex. It's about finding a woman who loves and respects you as much you do her.
I'm 46 (and married) and I haven't found her yet.
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I'm 46 (and married) and I haven't found her.
Now there is a comment that pricks my interest....
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Vash, buddy, I'm there with you. It ain't about sex. It's about finding a woman who loves and respects you as much you do her.
I'm 46 (and married) and I haven't found her yet.
Wow... :(
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I'm 46 (and married) and I haven't found her.
Now there is a comment that pricks my interest....
Yeeowwwwwwch!
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So, as you've noticed, I haven't been around much lately (again!)...
Well, THIS time it's because a little more than a month ago I actually MET the girl I wrote about in the post that started this thread! It's the weirdest freaking thing. She just sort of appeared at work.
She's actually someone I've known in a very passive, regular customer kind of way for about a year. But we went out after work for a drink and kind of started spending all of our free time together for a about 3 weeks. The rest is history. We've been dating for a couple of weeks now (officially) and things couldn't be going better.
I've never gotten along better with anyone I've met. It's kind of crazy, but so far, awesome. I'm still wrapping my head around the idea that a girl 11 years younger (yeah, she's 23, I'm 34) than me is interested in me, but she seems genuine about it. And I'm getting used to it. ;)
Seriously, I had her read that original post and she was weirded out for a second that I had described her and her views on me so accurately without knowing her. But we're both just going with it.
oh, and she thinks a shaved head is sexy.... who knew? :@`
SO anyway, thanks guys for all your great input and advice about just sticking to being who and what I am. It's not always easy advice to hear or follow, but it certainly seems to have worked. THANK YOU SLY BRUTHAS.
Wish me luck ^-^
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That's awesome Vash!!!! Wish you all the very best.
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Good luck to you Vash....hope everything goes well !! O0
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GooD LucK For You m8! O0 its best feeling in the world when u find "that right one" ,eh? O:O
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Woo Hoo!
Congrats dude.
P@^
Keep us posted!
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Married here for 29 years. Hang in there Vash. Patience is the key. BTW-To NOMAD: You look years younger. Whats the secret?
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See there ya go VASH.....good things come to those who wait. You have my best wishes.
Timmay
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Good news, Vash.
Glad you found someone so you can both be happy together. Long may it continue!
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Go VASH!
I've always believed that you have to be happy with who and what you are before others will find you attractive. There IS someone for everyone............
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...You're a good man who wants a good woman. Your heart will tell you when the right one comes along. Just enjoy yourself, and when you least expect it, she will be there!!!
This is one of the few times I don't mind saying this: TOLD YA SO! ;D
Seriously, Congrats Vash! I'm very happy for ya Brother!!! O0
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Congrats, Vash!
This was my first time reading through this entire thread, so I was able to see the story evolve in a matter of minutes.
The loss of our shriner-crust man makes a lot more sense after reading through :)
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Good luck bro! Keep us updated
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Way to go Vash 8) O0 O0 O0
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Good for you, Vash. That's how it goes, usually when we are not expecting it.
Glad to hear you are doing well and you're happy! O0
Keep us posted.
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There IS someone for everyone............
Now thats an interesting thought......
Anyway, congrats Vash. Glad things are going your way O0
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Congrats Vash & good luck! O0