The never ending story....maybe

[Razor X]

So I grabbed a toilet plunger and rammed the handle into his stomach.  He doubled over in pain and I ran like hell to get out of there.   Knowing that he wouldn't be too far behind me, I ran outside, and went into the nearest shop right across the street, not realizing that it was a spa/salon.  The place was full of women.  When the receptionist saw me, she said, "Oh - you must be here for the chest waxing.  Janet -- your 10:00 is here!" 

Before I could say a word, Janet emerged.  To say the least, she was scary-looking.  Built like a German tank and looked like she'd been sucking on a lemon all morning.  She grabbed me by the arm and whisked me into a back room.  She tore off my shirt and flung me onto a table and started preparing the wax.   That was when ....

[Robmeister]

...the large tatooed bouncer busted in.  Telling Janet to get behind me, I turned to him and asserted, "Listen, I appreciate the 'Mr. Clean' designation.  And I'll give you a mulligan on that'n and let it slide as a complement to my impeccably maintained chromedome (the rough spots notwithstanding).  But I ain't a friggen janitor....and could give a flippen rip about the grout lines.  And those tattooes are really just plain stupid, not to mention that '80's throwback big hair yer sportin.  Shave yer friggen head, ya moron.  Maybe I'd have a little respect for yer dumbass hairy ape-man self."

Well, this really broke down the big galoot.  He tripped both me and Janet out by immediately wipping out his cell phone and...

[Timmay]

calling his mommy and asking her if he really does look like a dork and ........................

[Razor X]

then he began to weep uncontrollably, as presumably the answer he got from his mother was, "Yes".  Neither Janet nor I felt threatened by him any longer.  Janet pushed him out the door and flung me back on the table, saying, "Now, where were we?", when all of a sudden ....

[Robmeister]

..."Janet" drops a bombshell and reveals that she is in fact a man and that I'm in for one hell of a chest wax.  Having had enough with all this Bullsh**, I ......

[SLYinKC]

jumped to my feet to try to get otta this place as fast as I could.  But before I could move, the now-overweight perfume lady burst through the door, dragging the bouncer, who was now again weeping uncotrolably.  She pushed the bouncer onto the table and yelled at the top her lungs, "NO, You must wax my fiance first, I've always liked for my men to be totally smooth".  The disheartened bouncer summoned all the emotional strength that he could muster and  jumped back to his feet and began pleading with the perfume lady saying...

[Razor X]

"PLEASE, sweetheart, don't do this to me!!"   Janet (now known as James) ordered me to hold the bouncer down on the table while he/she prepared to wax him from head to toe.   This was followed by a lot of blood-curdling screaming, as the bouncer was waxed from head to toe.  Yes, even that god-awful mullet was cut off and his scalp then waxed.  I must say it was one fine bald head.   Made me think about getting it done myself, though I was definitely not interested in any waxing below the neck.  I'd seen what this guy went through and it wasn't pretty.  The now hairless bouncer walked over to the mirror and said ....

[SLYinKC]

Ya know, I think I kinda like it.  Can you also....

[Razor X]

.... book me for a standing appointment every six weeks?  Damn, I'm SLY!!"  It was then he realized that he could do better than the fat perfume chick so he gave her her marching orders, and then he left the salon. 

The perfume chick then reminded me that she was the only female in this story that I hadn't had sex with (Jane/James obviously not counting) and it was time to do something about that.  She was blocking the only exit.  There was no way I could overpower her or escape.  She came towards me and ...

[SLYinKC]

and pushed me back on the table, ripping what clothing I had left, off my trembling body.  I felt so powerless, and yet somehow drawn to her.  I couldn't explain the strange urges I was having as I have never gone for fat chicks that reek of perfume before.   I began to realize that she had somehow brought my mind under her control.  I desparately needed my majic headblade that would give me super strength and break the fat perfume chicks power over me.  The only thing I could think to do at this point was....

[Razor X]

pretend with all my might that she was someone else -- someone thinner, more attractive, and more gentle -- as I prayed that this wouldn't last too much longer.  I knew I wouldn't last too much longer.  After what seemed like forever ...

[Timmay]

an eternity turned out to be only 40 seconds.   Was I ever so blown away by the most intense session I have ever had.  As I looked down I was covered in blood. I glance up at the what I had imagined as a SI swimsuit model was indeed the fat perfume lady. She was standing there naked and she didnt have the normal female parts that most have.  SHe had headblades attached to her whole body.  I glance back down at my wounds and my body not only covered in blood but was completely hairless.  I rush down the hall without grabbing my clothes and being this was a spa...there should be a swimming pool somewhere.  I find the pool adn I jump in, but it wasnt water that I found in the pool ..it was............

[SLYinKC]

rubbing alcohol.  The fat perfume chick has somehow managed to turn this somewhat average salon/dayspa into a horrorfilled  nightmare.  I felt like I was somehow in another dimension and I was trapped with no way to get out. I could no longer determine what was real and what was a figment of my imagination.  I knew now that I could no longer trust my senses, I had to rely on my basic instincts.  Even though my body appeared to be writhing in pain, I shut all of that out of my mind and just swam through the suppossed "rubbing alcohol" with all my might.  I kept telling myself that this is only a figment of my imagination and that I could only defeat the fat perfume chick if I could overcome her mind control.  I finally reached the edge of the pool, jumped out, and ran straight for...

[Razor X]

... the telephone.  I made a call and requested delivery of six pizzas, figuring that I'd have my chance to escape when the perfume chick dug in to eat them.  Five minutes later, the pizzas arrived and ...

[SLYinKC]

strategically placed the pizzas at various points around the spa.  I figured that I would have the best chance if I could divert her attention in various areas of the building.  However, the smell of the pizzas began to overcome me, as I had not had a chance to eat with all of the days activity going on.  I thought to myself, "one small piece won't hurt".  So I sat down, if but only for a moment to partake of a little nourishment.  However, I soon realized that I had miscalculated the power and deviousness of the fat chick.  I had no more than taken my first bite of the pizza, when to my surprise...