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#30 by tofur99 on 06 Dec, 2013 15:24
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what it really is, is choosing to let go of the unfounded and downright ridiculous limiting beliefs that you are holding onto (even if they feel real and separate from you and like they're forcing themselves on you, they are only here because you have let them in, you've accepted them as gospel and given them free reign over you) and choosing to believe something different. It's a CHOICE. You can't tell me it isn't, because it flat out is. you can CHOOSE to believe that it isn't, but thats still a choice.
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#31 by Scarecrow on 06 Dec, 2013 15:25
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I didn't choose to go bald though...
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#32 by DanO on 06 Dec, 2013 15:28
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I didn't choose to go bald though...
So? Not many of us did. How you deal with it is the difference. -
#33 by slymyke on 06 Dec, 2013 15:29
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tofur99, Excellent post!
Thanks for sharing your personal input on the subject. I think it is very helpful for men of all ages!
I did read over the links a little. They did not "get me down"... I had a pretty good laugh. They are the most idiotic things I've ever read! I do have to point out again that they are geared mostly toward balding vs. full head of hair.---not much mention of shaved heads. (although one of them mentioned "slybald" in a derogatory way. I am sad for those who buy into all that is being said there.
One of the links said that a bald man can't enjoy a convertible car. Really? A sly bald guy can enjoy a convertible more than anyone. Am I missing something? -
#34 by Raison_d_etre on 06 Dec, 2013 15:30
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how about this, stop reading that idiotic crap, and just read what I just wrote. I've actually been through this and come out the other side better than new. If I can do it, you can too. We are no different.
I didn't even click those links because I know exactly what in them, but the last 2 have "pua" in it. Isn't the main pick up artist guy totally bald? Style? how's that worked out for him? like I said, IT MAKES NO SENSE.
Neil Strauss? He's a known scammer, he's been exposed to fake a lot of his stories and has money and status. On the other hand it's not hard to find hard proof that females are turned on by LOOKS just like we are: see what happens when you set up an online dating profile with male model pictures:
http://www.incelrage.com/
It's so depressing...
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#35 by Raison_d_etre on 06 Dec, 2013 15:44
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Of course we dont require every quality on a female.
It's like how we prefer a woman with a nice rack. Do we REQUIRE IT? If she's super cool, carefree, passionate, alive, fun loving, confident, takes care of herself and dresses well, do we really go "well, all thats nice, but she's got sub-optimal jugs, so forget about it". Maybe a rare and particularly confused soul does that, maybe. And those are prime sexual areas, the top of our head isn't anything. Women love rubbing my head actually, so maybe it is a sexual center. Could be onto something.
However females want us to be the full package in order to be considered attractive.
Any female can get attention if she's young, not too overweight and wears make up. A man needs to be model tier to be seen as handsome by the ladies.
We judge women on their best feature they judge us our our worst. Short=out of the game. Fat= out of the game. Bald=out of the game if you're young. While most men are ready to jump on any female they are only into the top percentile.
http://www.businessinsider.com/female-standards-of-male-attractiveness-are-way-unrealistic-2013-4
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
Are those studies "limiting beliefs"? -
#36 by slymyke on 06 Dec, 2013 15:49
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Girls are programmed to think handsome = Prince Charming. That may require not just hair, but the best head of hair possible. (That pretty much limits it down to a handful of guys)
Okay, now that those few guys are taken, what are you going to do to attract the rest of the women that got left behind... surely they are still outnumbering the men (as women naturally do anyway). Once the Prince Charmings are taken, it is pretty much equal ground for all the guys left. Some may be too heavy, some with too small of a chin, some with thin hairline, some with a shave head... and so on.
Women get over the "good looking man" stage way quicker than men do for women. That's when the field gets more narrow. A true Prince Charming will still be on top... he's got it all, right? That's okay... there are still plenty of beautiful women left. Don't be on the sidelines with your tail between you legs having a pity party... you will miss out for sure. -
#37 by tofur99 on 06 Dec, 2013 15:54
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man. You guys have really invested in being totally and completely miserable. You do realize that, right?
scarecrow: yeah dude, you didn't choose to go bald. Obviously. I didn't choose it either, also didn't choose the horrible acne. Guess what? It happened. You can, from right now in this moment:
A: bitch and moan and play your little violin while wailing "woe is me", until you literally drop dead and cease to exist (or go to heaven if it exists, where God will promptly kick you in the shin and go "you idiot!" then give you a big hug or something, lol). Thats option A. Not particularly fun. Not to mention the fun-sucking effect you will have on everyone you interact with, and you will inspire exactly 0 people in the process.
B: Let go of all the negative, suffering causing, un necessary beliefs that aren't even actually yours (you've just collected them from other people), and choose to respond in a freeing and empowering and inspiring way to the undeniable and unavoidable fact that your hair has decided to vacate your head.
Given those two options, which one you gunna choose? Notice rugs and hair transplants and drugs that make you impotent are absent, they aren't viable options. The day a legit cure comes out, I'll be first in line to get my hair back. I might not even like it anymore, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Until then, I'm gunna rock what I've got and not let it slow me down from living my life the way I want to live it.
Raison: I didn't know the style guy exaggerated his stories. That has nothing to do with his bald head and everything to do with what kind of human being he is, I was just making a point that a prominent pua is bald. -
#38 by Sir Harry on 06 Dec, 2013 15:54
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Thank you for sharing those statistics.....However, I find that life is more enjoyable when you live life on your terms and not statistics and others' opinions....One of my favorite phrases is: "The poorest man is the man whose pleasures depend upon the permission of others". Do you think it's possible that women are turned off more by the negativity than the hair (or lack thereof?) Just a thought.
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#39 by Raison_d_etre on 06 Dec, 2013 15:55
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You are right about the pity party going nowhere Myke.
However I can't get over how unfair this is, still going through the anger phase.
Those women would rather share a prince charming than give the average guy a chance.
This is called hypergamy and it's common to many other animal species, the best male specimen gets most of the females.
You are wiser than me I'm wasting my best years worrying about a battle that was last before I was even born. -
#40 by tofur99 on 06 Dec, 2013 16:00
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online dating is NOT REALITY. Okay? It's a buffet of pictures, it allows you to be as picky as you can possibly be. You also aren't meeting the person IN PERSON, where actual relationships and hook ups happen. Its just a picture, and some words that usually don't get read. There is no vibe there, no body language, conversation, nothing. It's just a small piece of the puzzle.
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#41 by Raison_d_etre on 06 Dec, 2013 16:02
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man. You guys have really invested in being totally and completely miserable. You do realize that, right?
scarecrow: yeah dude, you didn't choose to go bald. Obviously. I didn't choose it either, also didn't choose the horrible acne. Guess what? It happened. You can, from right now in this moment:
A: bitch and moan and play your little violin while wailing "woe is me", until you literally drop dead and cease to exist (or go to heaven if it exists, where God will promptly kick you in the shin and go "you idiot!" then give you a big hug or something, lol). Thats option A. Not particularly fun. Not to mention the fun-sucking effect you will have on everyone you interact with, and you will inspire exactly 0 people in the process.
B: Let go of all the negative, suffering causing, un necessary beliefs that aren't even actually yours (you've just collected them from other people), and choose to respond in a freeing and empowering and inspiring way to the undeniable and unavoidable fact that your hair has decided to vacate your head.
Given those two options, which one you gunna choose? Notice rugs and hair transplants and drugs that make you impotent are absent, they aren't viable options. The day a legit cure comes out, I'll be first in line to get my hair back. I might not even like it anymore, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Until then, I'm gunna rock what I've got and not let it slow me down from living my life the way I want to live it.
Raison: I didn't know the style guy exaggerated his stories. That has nothing to do with his bald head and everything to do with what kind of human being he is, I was just making a point that a prominent pua is bald.
All PUA's are a joke. This industry is a scam, I can expose any of the top gurus for being a fraud who scams virgins but cant get laid with legit hotties when you want.
Your attitude makes a lot of sense and you are making the most of what you've got . I just can't let go though. At least you admit you'd love to see a cure on the market, even though this is not gonna happen any time soon. -
#42 by Raison_d_etre on 06 Dec, 2013 16:06
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online dating is NOT REALITY. Okay? It's a buffet of pictures, it allows you to be as picky as you can possibly be. You also aren't meeting the person IN PERSON, where actual relationships and hook ups happen. Its just a picture, and some words that usually don't get read. There is no vibe there, no body language, conversation, nothing. It's just a small piece of the puzzle.
Why wouldnt it be reality? I think it's actually even more realistic since in this context women are anonymous and truely speak their mind.
Also, I know the club scene pretty well, and it's even more brutal.
Vibe, body language, all that stuff is dependant on the halo effect, a hot shy guy is mysterious, his less attractive version lacks confidence, and so on. Those are the tests you can pass once you have passed the first test: LOOKS. -
#43 by slymyke on 06 Dec, 2013 16:17
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online dating is NOT REALITY. Okay? It's a buffet of pictures, it allows you to be as picky as you can possibly be. You also aren't meeting the person IN PERSON, where actual relationships and hook ups happen. Its just a picture, and some words that usually don't get read. There is no vibe there, no body language, conversation, nothing. It's just a small piece of the puzzle.
Well said. I had just written something that was getting to the same point, and lost the whole comment.
I will just add to not over-think or over-analyze it. We can either study life or we can live it. -
#44 by Mike E. P. on 06 Dec, 2013 16:31
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I hear what you guys are saying.
I wish I could be confident and just accept it like you did...
But when you read stuff like this:
http://www.hairlosstalk.com/interact/showthread.php/62828-Women-below-30-are-shallow-and-balding-is-unattractive-Deal-with-it
http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=106750
http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=90126
It really gets you down...
I'd stop reading this s--t if I were you.