Scared of going bald...

[Sir Harry]

Welcome, Scarecrow and Raison!

@Scarecrow-It's understandable to be scared about going bald, especially if it's for the first time....There are many things we feel nervous about doing for the first time, it's just human nature. Just remember if you try sly and you feel it's not for you, unlike more permanent things like tattoos, hair does grow back....but if being bald makes you happy, don't let others deter you from it.

@Raison-I started losing hair at about 26 years old....I still was able to marry a nice woman, in fact, I shaved my head for the wedding after I missed a barber appointment, and my then wife, a hot woman, loved it...but she loved me for me, not for the lack of hair. Same for my second wife. While I am not presently married, I am dating a very attractive lady who loves me for me bald head and all...There is someone for you, but you have to present yourself as being a good catch. If you present yourself negatively, things may not go as well. Hang in there and good luck to you.

[Scarecrow]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

It's good to see that you guys have managed to deal with hairloss and move on with your lives. I wish I could do the same...

Raison d'Etre: That's exactly what I'm worried about. I know several girls who've told me that bald men are disgusting and that they would never date them.

Then there are those people on the hairloss forums that say that baldness is a genetic weakness and that we're doomed to a life of celibacy and rejection...

When I read stuff like that I just want to kill myself...

[TheSlyBear]

The profile showing the man with a full head of hair received 108 responses, compared with 22 received by the page showing him with thinning and receding hair.

I have to admit, I didn't read the whole article, but I'm assuming they didn't do a comparison of men with a full head of hair vs. a men with shaved heads.  There is such a difference in the look. 

Quoted for emphasis. There is a huge difference in appearance between receding/thinning and sly. Comparing oranges to penguins.

[slymyke]

Then there are those people on the hairloss forums that say that baldness is a genetic weakness and that we're doomed to a life of celibacy and rejection...

When I read stuff like that I just want to kill myself...

Woah!   Lets just get clear on ONE THING!  The only weakness involved here would be to believe that 54!T!     Don't read that garbage.    How does extra testosterone translate as a weakness?  It sure looks that way in some cases, where the weasely doughnut look is being rocked so tragically... but how masculine, bold and badass are the shaved-headed role models!?!?!

Again, those forums are feeding the insecurities of the balding man... to sell products and procedures.  I'm sure they have all kinds of negative things to say about shaving and those that shave their heads, but seriously take a look around the forum and you will notice that the vast majority of us are completely happy... young and old.

I hate to see people hurt by the lies of those with an agenda that is about self-profit. 

[Raison_d_etre]

Baldness is not a consequence of higher testosterone levels, many hardcore bodybuilders inject crazy doses of testosterone and still keep a teenager head of hair. It's all about the sensitivity to DHT.

In fact, bald men have been found to have lower levels of serum testosterone:

http://www.hairloss-research.org/serumtestosterone.html

While men like Jay Cutler can shoot ten times the normal amount of testosterone and retain their youthful mane. It's still our follicles being "weak", or simply unable to handle DHT without shrinking.

[slymyke]

Baldness is not a consequence of higher testosterone levels, many hardcore bodybuilders inject crazy doses of testosterone and still keep a teenager head of hair. It's all about the sensitivity to DHT.

In fact, bald men have been found to have lower levels of serum testosterone:

http://www.hairloss-research.org/serumtestosterone.html

While men like Jay Cutler can shoot ten times the normal amount of testosterone and retain their youthful mane. It's still our follicles being "weak", or simply unable to handle DHT without shrinking.

You are right about the Testosterone levels.. my comment was only based on old beliefs and studies.  Somehow, I do think that the majority of people are not reading up on the actual causes of baldness to make some kind of false correlation to bald men being weak. 

I just don't want you to be thinking poorly of yourself because of this.  There is no doubt that it "sucks" but so do a lot of other non-life-threatening things... we push through and become stronger. 

[Scarecrow]

Yeah hairloss sucks BIG TIME!

It's Friday night. I should be out drinking and partying like normal people my age. But instead I'm sitting at my computer reading about hair transplants...

I wish this curse had never befallen me.

Raison d'Etre: you're right. Hair loss is a huge cosmetic flaw for a man.

I wonder if any of the guys here would choose to shave their heads if they had the ability to grow a NW1... Do you guys all suffer from MPB as well?

[Raison_d_etre]

Many men choose to shave despite not having MPB, but to my eye there's a big difference between a shaved head with a visible hairline stubble(or just the roots being visible because collagen hasnt closed the follicles) and the roots just visible in the horseshoe area.

[Cave Dweller]

Scarecrow, seriously?

You have chosen to sit at home and be depressed? It sounds like you are creating your own self-fulfilling prophecy of being dejected and lonely, sir.

If you want to be out having a good time with friends, then go do it. YOU are the only one holding yourself back.

Like I said in my first post to you, I was balding all through my twenties. The hair loss started when I was seventeen. I can empathize with how it feels to realize you are going bald. I also can assure you that if you do not take on the attitude that it is some cosmic tragedy, and go on with life, you will be surprised at how little your hair means to anyone but you. And I include the ladies when I say that.

[slymyke]

Scarecrow,
I have MPB and many other here do too.  There are also lots of guys on here who are bald by choice.  The look has gotten more popular these days.  I am thankful for that.  It sure makes it a lot easier to just do it and make it intentional.  Owning the decision does something empowering to you.  If you shave in desperation, you may not have the same positive experience.  You have to be ready to do it.

I could not have done it any sooner than I did.  I wish now that I had done it sooner.... but I didn't know how I would feel about it.  It was not as popular and I just deal with my hair getting thinner and thinner.  I just tried to ignore it. 

If you decide to go the transplant route or use chemicals, there will be no judgement from me... (I know I may be coming across like one who will make fun of you for trying it).  I think each man has to chose what is best for him at the moment.  If you try those routes and then decide to shave... so be it.  You will not be alone in whatever decision you make.  There are guys on here who fit any scenario you can think of.   No judgment or shame on this site.   We are just guys who support the sly method of dealing with hair loss. 

Each of us looks at life through our own filter, and many of us have similar stories. 

[DanO]

It's still our follicles being "weak", or simply unable to handle DHT without shrinking.

Yep, I was just too much man for my hair to handle. 

On a more serious note, yes, going bald sucks.  Being bald, however, turns out to be a very liberating experience.

Do I have MPB?  Yep.  Does it bother me? No.  Do I hide myself away, ashamed of my lack of folicular fortitude? Hell no!

The thing to remember is that more than a few of us on this board have been through this, and have come out the other side.

I'm not saying this is an easy thing for you to go through.  It isn't.  Another thing it isn't is the end of your life.  I'm bald.  I've got male pattern baldness.  I'm not going to say that I'm suffering from it, because I'm not.  It's no longer an issue.

That's the key here, for you it's an issue.  You're loosing your hair and you hate that.  That isn't going to bring it back though.  Accept the way you are, buzz your hair short, shave it off, keep the hairy horseshoe if that's what it takes, but whatever you do, do it with confidence and with a smile.

THAT'S what the ladies are after.

[Scarecrow]

I hear what you guys are saying.

I wish I could be confident and just accept it like you did...

But when you read stuff like this:

http://www.hairlosstalk.com/interact/showthread.php/62828-Women-below-30-are-shallow-and-balding-is-unattractive-Deal-with-it

http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=106750

http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=90126

It really gets you down...

[tofur99]

listen you two.

I'm 24 and sitting right around a very solid NW 3, going on 4.  I used to have a magnificent mane, I'm a good looking guy who has loved the company of the ladies since puberty hit me upside the head with a 2x4, and to say losing my hair in the years between 18 and now hasn't been largely traumatic would be a lie.  Add in severe cystic acne coming out of left field right beforehand and well, not fun.  At least you haven't had to contend with that too, thank god for accutane (although I'm pretty sure that drug is what kicked my hair-loss into gear at this age).  I felt like the guy in the movie "Beastly"(I was in self esteem debt), and still have scarring from it that I'll be carrying with me for life, most likely.

You feel like your the most unlucky S.O.B to ever walk the planet.  Every guy around you who's your age has a full mane of hair and is full of confidence, and you look like a old guy (no offense to the older gentlemen here, but looking 40 at 24 isn't fun, when I'm 40, no problemo).  You give up on socializing with anyone, because who would want to hang out with you?  Women or men, you feel like a joke, a freak.


BUT, eventually you gotta let go.  Let go of all the limiting beliefs.  They are toxic, and are completely self created and self sustained.  You always have the choice to take a deep breath and let go of them and choose freedom.  Life's way too short.


The truth is, we have a unique opportunity to inspire everyone around us.  To be bold, fearless, completely carefree.  We can lead by example and show people that it is possible to live that kind of life.  To be happy, confident, carefree, no matter what we look like, what we do for work, what clothes were wearing, anything.  It's just a choice.  People our age really need to see that right now, seeing it inspires, it shows them there's another way.  And it also attracts.


Personally, I choose to believe I'm the sexiest G.D man on planet earth (okay, a couple guys have me beat, but I'm up there).  Reading your guys' posts about women not finding balding men who've shaved/very close buzzed attractive, and having to wait until the women get all worn out, how hair-loss forum people say bald men are weak and doomed to a life of celibacy and rejection, it just doesn't compute.  It makes NO SENSE.


Let.  It.  Go.  It's all bullsh**.  I have yet to be rejected by a woman I've chosen since lopping whats left of my hair off.  I have more confidence now than I had back in the day of the full mane and perfect complexion.  Let that sink in.  I truly believe the scarring I have makes me look like a badass motherf*****, it adds to my look and makes my facial hair look awesome and unique.  Not having hair brings out my facial features and draws attention to my eyes, which are sexy as all get out.  Its absolutely not a problem to not have hair, it makes you stand out, thats a good thing.  Its a powerful, clean, bold look.  

Women take one look at you and think "I gotta break me off a piece of THAT", not "wow, he's incredibly confident and carefree and powerful, but he doesn't have a full mane of hair.  Oh well, deal breaker."  How does that last reaction make ANY SENSE???  Please enlighten me, really.  Your afraid of nothing, you've made something out of nothing.  We all have who have gone through this.

It's like how we prefer a woman with a nice rack.  Do we REQUIRE IT?  If she's super cool, carefree, passionate, alive, fun loving, confident, takes care of herself and dresses well, do we really go "well, all thats nice, but she's got sub-optimal jugs, so forget about it".  Maybe a rare and particularly confused soul does that, maybe.  And those are prime sexual areas, the top of our head isn't anything.  Women love rubbing my head actually, so maybe it is a sexual center.  Could be onto something.

[tofur99]

I hear what you guys are saying.

I wish I could be confident and just accept it like you did...

But when you read stuff like this:

http://www.hairlosstalk.com/interact/showthread.php/62828-Women-below-30-are-shallow-and-balding-is-unattractive-Deal-with-it

http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=106750

http://puahate.com/showthread.php?t=90126

It really gets you down...

how about this, stop reading that idiotic crap, and just read what I just wrote.  I've actually been through this and come out the other side better than new.  If I can do it, you can too.  We are no different.

I didn't even click those links because I know exactly what in them, but the last 2 have "pua" in it.  Isn't the main pick up artist guy totally bald?  Style?  how's that worked out for him?  like I said, IT MAKES NO SENSE.

[Cave Dweller]

I was about to post a reply, but nothing can top what Tofur just said.

Bravo, sir.