Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence
I lost all my self confidence
stasiu:
--- Quote from: Magoo on October 20, 2013, 10:16:11 AM ---Karmapolice,you sound so down on yourself.I don't think you would have the confidence to shave your head.Sometimes the best advice is to get professional help. I don't mean this in any derogatory way , but only as away to help.
--- End quote ---
Hang in there buddy ! This sight offers great advice for FREE. Hope you heed some of it ! Keep us posted ! Sehr Danke !
Mike E. P.:
Ultimately you have to make the decision for yourself. You said you can't wait to be free and I have to tell you, that's what shaving my head did for me. Initially seeing myself shaven was kind of shocking, but that passed quickly and I got to like my new look quickly as well. Once all my friends and family saw me, I was done and free. All the worries about how other people thought my hair looked were gone.
It was a long and traumatic transition for me. I don't look back and laugh because as irrational as it may actually be to be so consumed with my hair loss, it's a really difficult thing to go through. At least it was for me and probably was for many of us.
Baldstu:
Well the gay community in the UK and Germany transformed the Nazi look if you can call it that with fashion . Your right nazis are found smartly dressed and in suits . Even found a 80 year old one in tweed , all racism is born in ignorance .
Saturday at a interfaith event ,I wore a suit and was asked if I was a monk , I corrected the position as my Buddhist practice does not have , priest monks or nuns .
TunaSkin:
KarmaPolice,
I hope you're doing better with this situation now but I'd like to chime in and give my thoughts anyway. First of all, I think it's a bad idea to have all of your self confidence tied up in any one area of your life, especially something like your hair or your appearance. You need to diversify your sources of confidence. Get good at something. Work out. Set and accomplish some goals. Don't let this one minor ( and it is actually very minor) area of your life dictate how you manage the rest of your life.
I had long hair when I moved to Korea 3 years ago and had noticed I was starting to lose it. This bothered me because I had always loved having long hair and women always liked it too. Also, appearance is very important in Korea. I kept cutting it shorter and shorter until I ended up finding this forum and just shaving it all completely off. Best decision I ever made in terms of confidence boosting. It took hardly any time to get used to. My girlfriend at the time liked it and people told me it looked good. I've had no problems meeting women since I shaved me head. My students still tease me about it all the time but it never bothers me because there's no reason why I, as a grown man, would care what a child thinks of my appearance.
The reality is,man, no one cares about it as much as you do. Just shave it, get used to it and get to work building your confidence back in other ways. People will respond to your confidence and believe me when I tell you NOTHING is more attractive to a woman than confidence.
Best of luck, bro.
DOC_OSMC:
Hope your situation has improved KarmaPolice. Update us if you can.
I may be a little late to the party but wanted to add my thoughts too. I understand how you feel. I held a lot of belief and confidence in myself in my hair, as I'm sure many of us did at one time. In my late teen and early 20's when I was big into heavy metal, I grew it out and it was long and thick and absolutely loved it. As I got older I got into the 50's look and wore my hair in a pompadour. It was high maintenance but I absolutely loved the look.
I grew it out long again a few years back but it just wasn't the same. I found that it was noticeably thinner and when I pulled it back in a ponytail you could see the thinness and the scalp. Like you, I resorted to wearing hats and bandana to cover it up. That became my look, hair pulled back in a ponytail, sometimes I did just let it hang free, but always had a hat on, be it a fedora, newsboy, ball cap, etc. Worked for a while and then I finally decided to let it go and cut it short. Wore it in a spikey kind of pompadour for several years, which worked to a point, but the thinness was apparent. No matter how I styled it I was always conscious of the fact that it was thin up top and in the crown. And yes I would always wonder if people were looking at the ever increasing thinness on my crown.
I finally decided to buzz it short last year at the urging of a girl I was dating and absolutely loved that look. It was easy, low maintenance, and balanced out the thinness. I will tell you though that I had made the decision to shave my head many many years ago. Knowing that my hair was progressively thinning, I knew that when it was time, it would be time. I was never going to be that guy that sported the horseshoe, my vanity would not allow it.
So come this past November, a little over a year after I had started buzzing it, during my last buzzing session I realized that it had thinned to the point where I was ready to shave it all off. At 42, the time had come. And I gotta tell you, I couldn't be happier! I've gotten nothing but positive responses from it and the ladies absolutely love it! They love to rub a freshly shaved smooth head and some even say it turns them on while they rub it. It didn't take me long to adjust to the look and now, even as much as I loved my hair, I can't ever imagine going back. I'm sly for life! Or in my case bald and bearded for life!
You'll find that we're our worst enemy and our worse critic. We notice things about ourselves that drive us nuts that no one else would care about. When I had my pompadour or spikey hair, if I felt a hair was out of place it drove me insane, but no one else saw it and though I looked fine. I say all this to tell you that even though I was loosing my hair, I never let it define who I was on the inside. As others have said the confidence comes from within and it seems that you are taking the steps to get that control back, with working out, etc. Shaving your head will liberate you, that I, and many in this forum, can attest to.
We only have one life. Live life, don't let life live you!
I seem to always attach this pic to various posts, but I think it helps give perspective to see how I progressed for hair and high maintenance to being sly and free.
Peace!
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