Got a bad reaction

[SCjay]

You have to remember that wearing the hats from others point of view will automatically send them a signal or they will assume, that you dont want to be seen with your shaved head, even though it is attractive. I see that a lot here where I think a  bald guy is good looking and you can tell he shaves his head ( or is mostly bald) but wears the hat. Even I assume he must be afraid to let us see his bald head. Which sends a signal to me that he is insecure and therefore somehow flawed in his own eyes, not a good signal to send.

Try to go 5 days without the hat. WHen interacting with older people outside of college I bet there are many with shaved heads. Older girls out of college will have more life experience and know baldness is natural in most men. Maybe try to hang with older girls.

Yea I can understand that about the hat. But sometimes I really do HAVE to wear the hat. I dont mind people seeing me bald, but I will NOT let them see me when my hair grows out a couple of days. I shave on Tues, Thurs, and Sat so by Monday Im not looking near as fresh so Ill wear it.

And Ive thought about what older women would think, about how it would be easier to talk with them because they have seen bald a lot more than a college girl has. But older girls arent really my thing right now, I know one who is about 2 years older than me that I talk to but we have 2 completely different lifestyles. She has already graduated and paying bills, so she's living the adult life while Im still living the college one. Maybe after I graduate in December Ill have a different feeling about it.

[Sir Harry]

In the early morning hours of New Year's Day myself and a buddy who is BBC went to a party. We ran into an obnoxious couple who may have been drunk

Man: Well, look at the melonheads, heads so clean I can see what you're thinking (he then tried to rub our heads but he missed)

Me: Thanks, I guess

Woman: Bald heads suck....The two of you put together makes for an ugly A$$

My buddy: We'll ma'am...better to look like an a$$ than to talk and act like one!

Crowd: Hilarious laughter Me: KMSL, LMAO, ROTFL , etc.

Couple leaves party pi$$ed off (surprisingly no fight breaks out)

Keep your head up and let your light shine! (no pun intended)

[kevin]

Hey there

There are some great tips on here. The woman sounds like a real ass to be going about saying things like that in public and so freely. At least you found out her true colours before you got to know her further.

I can also relate to the hat wearing. I was heavy diffuse thinning and wore hats all the time it was almost like a prison sentence and people will be wondering why is he wearing a hat, what's underneath that etc. The torture as well, I remember I used to share a room with 4 other people and I'd even take the cap into the bathroom to put it on straight after the shower.I can see why, it's a blanket. Your hairloss disapears with a hat on and I wore them for years, still occasionaly do now too.

You need to be confident in yourself too. I was very shy when I had no hairloss and turned dates down because I was affraid of women, I regret it a bit and I was probarly a bit insecure/shy/immature - all of these. After some soul-searching (read forums, books, find out about yourself) I have been working on confidence and public speaking and becoming more outgoing and engaging.
And right now, I've never had as much interest from women even though I look older and worse than I did at 18. I'm just a lot more self-assured, and try my best to be the best I can be and make people feel good .

I'm no lothario or anything but one day, and I was constantly when younger nervous around women and thinking 'She'll never like me', 'I'm not handsdome enough' I started to read more and open my own mind up and thought to myself 'I am a great guy. I care for my friends and family. I show interest in people' and if a woman doesn't like me or judges me on my looks, then she's not worth knowing. I read a few books too. There are plenty on the net/forums, but you need to gain self-confidence first and once you build this up, YOU WILL get dates and women will be very interested in getting to know you.

If you are shy around women, I started with just talking to a new person every day. If it's the store clerk, postman, bar tender, bus driver, whoever it is - many of these places will greet you with a ''How are you today?'' and I'll reply about my day and ask them about there's or some mundane chat, and so many of them are shocked as they are used to people replying with short answers.

Take care of yourself and ignore the haters. Haters gonna hate. As stupid as that is, it's very true. They are many nice people out there and many people will find your bald dome attractive and many people will find your personality attractive too.

Stay positive and all the best.

[bennett11]

many years ago in college i kept my hair very closely cropped.  My nickname became cue ball.  I enjoyed that.  I was noticed - a reason for having little hair.  Better tack is to joke that you are glad you like my hair style.  As others have said don't try to hide by wearing a hat.  It is you - be proud that you are you.

[SCjay]

Hey there

There are some great tips on here. The woman sounds like a real ass to be going about saying things like that in public and so freely. At least you found out her true colours before you got to know her further.

I can also relate to the hat wearing. I was heavy diffuse thinning and wore hats all the time it was almost like a prison sentence and people will be wondering why is he wearing a hat, what's underneath that etc. The torture as well, I remember I used to share a room with 4 other people and I'd even take the cap into the bathroom to put it on straight after the shower.I can see why, it's a blanket. Your hairloss disapears with a hat on and I wore them for years, still occasionaly do now too.

You need to be confident in yourself too. I was very shy when I had no hairloss and turned dates down because I was affraid of women, I regret it a bit and I was probarly a bit insecure/shy/immature - all of these. After some soul-searching (read forums, books, find out about yourself) I have been working on confidence and public speaking and becoming more outgoing and engaging.
And right now, I've never had as much interest from women even though I look older and worse than I did at 18. I'm just a lot more self-assured, and try my best to be the best I can be and make people feel good .

I'm no lothario or anything but one day, and I was constantly when younger nervous around women and thinking 'She'll never like me', 'I'm not handsdome enough' I started to read more and open my own mind up and thought to myself 'I am a great guy. I care for my friends and family. I show interest in people' and if a woman doesn't like me or judges me on my looks, then she's not worth knowing. I read a few books too. There are plenty on the net/forums, but you need to gain self-confidence first and once you build this up, YOU WILL get dates and women will be very interested in getting to know you.

If you are shy around women, I started with just talking to a new person every day. If it's the store clerk, postman, bar tender, bus driver, whoever it is - many of these places will greet you with a ''How are you today?'' and I'll reply about my day and ask them about there's or some mundane chat, and so many of them are shocked as they are used to people replying with short answers.

Take care of yourself and ignore the haters. Haters gonna hate. As stupid as that is, it's very true. They are many nice people out there and many people will find your bald dome attractive and many people will find your personality attractive too.

Stay positive and all the best.

Wow, our stories are closely related. I too, used to take the hat in the bathroom, get out the shower, then put it back on before I left the bathroom. But I stopped wearing it around the house and around my close friends and eventually they got used to it and it made me more comfortable not wearing one.

I too, when I had all my hair, was shy around girls. Then I started reading things and through trial and error became more knowledgeable about women and became more confident in myself. But it seems like the more confidence I gained the more hair I lost. And now Im having to find a new confidence with the bald head.

And haters gonna hate is the theme I live by. There are times when I just get fed up always wearing the hat and Ill go out bald just thinking f**k it, if they dont like it then f**k them. And thats usually when a friend or 2 who havent seen the bald head actually see it and I get through that awkward first time and everytime after that its just what theyre used to.

[kevin]

We do sound similar from your story too. I agree though with the hat, it can be such a security blanket especially if you are young and see people around you with perfect hair. I'm now 29 and started losing hair at 21, and apart from 1 other guy, out of my soccer team (we were all the same age) no one else had noticeable hairloss.

So much with attracting women is about confidence and self-assurance. Like I said before, I'm no Romeo or player but I've noticed that since I stopped hiding behind hats, concealers, side sweeps and grew more confident, I am getting more interest in the opposite sex and people like that the girl at the party, will be compeltly blanked from your mind.

All the best and remember to stay happy.

[Highguage]

it is easy for us to say to not let it bother you. However in the end it does. By the sounds of iot the party you were at was not too mature if they play games like snatching hats. Try to hang around a more mature crwd and you will avoid these kinds of situations.

[TheSlyBear]

Try to hang around a more mature crwd and you will avoid these kinds of situations.

Quoted for truth.

[WillN]

I just turned 25, and still have a lot of hair, but besides the point. The one thing I've noticed in the over two years since I've been out of school is the amount I have matured and the people around me have. It is actually impossible to talk to college girls anymore because they seem so young, inexperienced, immature, and dumb. The people I work with and meet at bars would not care at all about hairloss, but that is something that comes with maturity. So losing my hair is by no means fun, but a fact of life. I live in a major city where there are bald guys everywhere (at work, in the bars, at the gym, everywhere), and some are younger than me. It would be mucher hard going through this process 2 years ago, but being around a more mature crowd definitely makes it easier. It was a major turning point in my life (hyperbole, but true) when a girl's physical appearance was no longer the main thing that I was going after. Personality is such a bigger turn-on. My point is that maturity is the key, and you will realize as you mature that physical appearance isn't everything. But that mindset comes with time, just imagine what you will know tomorrow. Keep your head up, physically and mentally.

[4fit]

Well said WillN

[Hotpocket]

A few things to take note of.

1. You care too much. Who cares what some idiot drunk girl says? Odds are she's insecure as hell and sits in front of a mirror at least an hour a day telling herself she's pretty. You can't fake not caring either, it needs to be genuine.
2. Ditch the hats. Screams insecure/not confident. Only wear them in the winter or on really sunny days, etc...
3. You have to embrace it. Yeah, you're gonna stick out a bit in college. That can be a benefit or a negative, and the funny thing is that depends entirely on you.

Basically, you need to be able to handle shrugging off someone making fun of you for being bald. Once you're at that point, nothing can really hurt you, and you learn to leave the assholes in the dust.

[Slyfive]

it is all about you, and how you feel about your head. Once you become comfortable with it it's actually great when someone insults you because it gives you the opportunity to make some hilarious joke about using your shiny dome to blind your enemies, or get a job as a torpedo.

[Baldstu]

Reading this again i would suggest to anyone who gets this slander , have the attitude that at least they areleaving someone else alone and be man enought to be magnaminous

[Chris730]

Most people dont really say much at all about my hair(or lack of). But the other night I was at this party and got a few reactions. 2 people asked if I was in the military, which Im thinking now I just need to say yea because Ive been asked that a lot. And when I tell them no they kinda have this look like "why does he shave his head then?" Anyways got another reaction that I didnt like too much. When girls get drunk they like to snatch hats off of guys' heads. Well this one girl snatches mine off and starts wearing it, and I just try to act normal and not too self conscious, even though I was really self conscious. Then the girl beside her takes it off her head and puts it back on mine and I heard her say, "he needs it more." Well then the girl who initially took my hat starts talking to the dude beside her saying "bald is NOT attractive" and things like that. I started fuming on the inside about to go off on this girl and call her stuff but then all of a sudden I just stopped caring.  I just walked up to her and said "youre a damn hater" and she goes "well Im just saying.." and then I responded with "I honestly dont give a fvck!" And thats when she said something along the lines of "well if you dont care then thats good" or something like that.

Dude, why would you want to hang out with idiots like that in the first place? I think you reacted pretty well though. I probably would've said something like "Well, the good thing for me is I can stop being bald if I wanted to. You can't stop being a b*tch though", and just walked away.

Also, I think you're spot on when you say you need to find yourself attractive before any girl will. Those chicks most likely busted on you not because you're bald, but because you were wearing a hat trying to hide it and they picked up on your insecurity.

Sounds like you just ended up at a bad party with a bunch of morons. I've been shaving my head for several months now and no one says anything, at work, among friends or anywhere else.

[vsG734]

In the early morning hours of New Year's Day myself and a buddy who is BBC went to a party. We ran into an obnoxious couple who may have been drunk

Man: Well, look at the melonheads, heads so clean I can see what you're thinking (he then tried to rub our heads but he missed)

Me: Thanks, I guess

Woman: Bald heads suck....The two of you put together makes for an ugly A$$

My buddy: We'll ma'am...better to look like an a$$ than to talk and act like one!

Crowd: Hilarious laughter Me: KMSL, LMAO, ROTFL , etc.

Couple leaves party pi$$ed off (surprisingly no fight breaks out)

Keep your head up and let your light shine! (no pun intended)

I love this. I wish this is the kind of confidence and ora I had. White guys are treated differently- because of their skin tone when they are bald. Ironic, isn't it?