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Got a bad reaction by SCjay on 29 Jan, 2012 12:53
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Most people dont really say much at all about my hair(or lack of). But the other night I was at this party and got a few reactions. 2 people asked if I was in the military, which Im thinking now I just need to say yea because Ive been asked that a lot. And when I tell them no they kinda have this look like "why does he shave his head then?" Anyways got another reaction that I didnt like too much. When girls get drunk they like to snatch hats off of guys' heads. Well this one girl snatches mine off and starts wearing it, and I just try to act normal and not too self conscious, even though I was really self conscious. Then the girl beside her takes it off her head and puts it back on mine and I heard her say, "he needs it more." Well then the girl who initially took my hat starts talking to the dude beside her saying "bald is NOT attractive" and things like that. I started fuming on the inside about to go off on this girl and call her stuff but then all of a sudden I just stopped caring. I just walked up to her and said "youre a damn hater" and she goes "well Im just saying.." and then I responded with "I honestly dont give a fvck!" And thats when she said something along the lines of "well if you dont care then thats good" or something like that.
I dont really know what to think. That night it didnt really bother me but when I woke up it started to a little more. I started thinking about how I hate going home from college because almost everyone from home pictures me with hair. I also kept thinking about girls I used to talk to when I had hair dont seem to like me as much without it. <---mostly one girl but in general it seems like girls dont really dig the baldness. I remember someone was trying to tell me how college would be the best place to be bald because there are so many people open to everything, but that is dead wrong. College is the WORST place. 99.9% of the guys I see have a full head of hair. When youre bald in this setting you stick out, and I dont think I have the personality to be the one sticking out, Ive always been a little quiet and reserved.
I understand that no matter how I act, there will be some girls who just will not under any circumstance find baldness attractive. Thats not hard to accept, my problem is that I need to find myself attractive before ANY girl will. Thats what Im struggling with. -
#1 by Mikekoz13 on 29 Jan, 2012 12:59
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Dude... the whole situation could have been avoided by not wearing a hat to the party. Ditch the hats!!
Stand tall and proud of who you are and don't even think about your shaved head. It has nothing to do with who you are or what you believe in as a man.
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#2 by D.A.L.U.I. on 29 Jan, 2012 13:17
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When girls get drunk they like to snatch hats off of guys' heads.
When they get drunk they prove beyond all doubt that they're not ladies!
Play with them, enjoy that sort, but don't get dirty. You will find the lady of your dreams, and Mikekoz13 is right, start by ditching the hat--shave clean and smooth. The ladies, not the drunk women, will notice.
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#3 by sailor61 on 29 Jan, 2012 13:24
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Have to admit I would find it very difficult not to get down in the gutter and roll with their tacky behavior...something along the lines of "It's simple for me to grow my hair back if I want to...not that easy to get rid of an a$$ that big though..."
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#4 by Paul the Headblader on 29 Jan, 2012 13:27
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well, she was drunk.
maybe she hates to shave, imagine that. what a bush.
just be yourself! Trying to hide it will make you not be in your best days! On the other hand, showing off and being proud of it will make your day! -
#5 by TheSlyBear on 29 Jan, 2012 15:18
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You really care what a drunk chick thinks? Really?
And yes, ditch the hat. Wearing a hat indoors projects "loser!" louder than any T-shirt emblazoned with the words.
It's all in your attitude, dude. Wearing a hat to hide your head sends all the wrong signals. -
#6 by Razor X on 29 Jan, 2012 15:54
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Dude... the whole situation could have been avoided by not wearing a hat to the party. Ditch the hats!!
Stand tall and proud of who you are and don't even think about your shaved head. It has nothing to do with who you are or what you believe in as a man.
What he said.
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#7 by buddha on 29 Jan, 2012 15:54
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Thats not hard to accept, my problem is that I need to find myself attractive before ANY girl will. Thats what Im struggling with.
That, right there, is the core of the problem. Because once you start to like yourself it truly doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
This is gonna sound odd but work on not taking this kind of stuff personal. It sounds trickier than it really is, honest. This girl was looking to mess with someone and get in their head and you happened to be sitting in the chair she picked. If someone else had been sitting in that seat she would have picked them, in all probability.
I'm working on a process wherein the drunk realizes that they did not get my goat. I smile, make a self-effacing comment and walk away. Going down to some drunk's level in a confrontation can get to be a habit, not one I want to get into. There's always time to get defensive when someone walks up and lays hands on you. In the meantime try to laugh stuff like this off.
Lose the hat. -
#8 by JasonSandeman on 29 Jan, 2012 15:58
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You know what? Live by this motto: f**k'em. If the chick is do shallow that baldness disturbs her, then he is missing out.
Stand tall, don't wear hats to cover your melon - embrace it. Remember that there are a LOT of badasses out there that are sly.
Ask her if she likes to fight her boyfriend for the sissy hair products. You're a man, and fucking awesome looking without all that sissy hair! -
#9 by Ravenangel on 29 Jan, 2012 16:01
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I suppose it is indeed better not to take such scenes seriously.
Drunk people might say things that they don't really mean, and the day after, they would probably prefer not to even remember how they behaved.
Try to forgive her.
Men and women both can act like complete idiots when they drink more than the safe amount... I suppose most of us have experiences about scenes we would prefer not to remember.
Furthermore, I would not like to repeat the guys' thoughts, but I completely agree with JasonSandeman, Razor X and TheSlyBear. -
#10 by SCjay on 29 Jan, 2012 16:07
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I am getting better. On Tuesdays I have a restaurant class where I cant wear a hat and it feels great to not wear one because everyone is used to me being bald. So I dont think about it at all. Today I went out grocery shopping and chose not to wear a hat. \
I understand I need to ditch the hat but I actually look good in a hat and wore them all the time when I went out even when I had hair. Im waiting until after spring break in a little over a month to start going out without the hat. I believe that a really good tan on my head will make it look A LOT better. -
#11 by SCjay on 29 Jan, 2012 16:09
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But like I said in the OP, what the girl actually said didnt bother me, its just the next morning when I remembered what she said it kinda started a snowball effect and everything from then on that I thought about it what bothered me.
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#12 by TheSlyBear on 29 Jan, 2012 17:06
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but I actually look good in a hat
Wearing a hat for fashion or protection is no problem. Wearing one to hide under is the issue. When you do so, you project that attitude without even knowing it.QuoteI believe that a really good tan on my head will make it look A LOT better.
Don't overdo the sun exposure. See saint's skin cancer topic. -
#13 by DCdome on 29 Jan, 2012 18:40
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Hey Jay!
The guys here (and Ravenangel, too!) are telling you like it is. I just want to add my support to what they have already given you. Just be yourself. Don't lower yourself to respond in kind to others when they are rude.
Enjoy the bald dome. You are going to love the spring and summer. Nothing like a cool breeze on the bald head on a warm day! -
#14 by chgobuzzbald on 29 Jan, 2012 23:10
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You have to remember that wearing the hats from others point of view will automatically send them a signal or they will assume, that you dont want to be seen with your shaved head, even though it is attractive. I see that a lot here where I think a bald guy is good looking and you can tell he shaves his head ( or is mostly bald) but wears the hat. Even I assume he must be afraid to let us see his bald head. Which sends a signal to me that he is insecure and therefore somehow flawed in his own eyes, not a good signal to send.
Try to go 5 days without the hat. WHen interacting with older people outside of college I bet there are many with shaved heads. Older girls out of college will have more life experience and know baldness is natural in most men. Maybe try to hang with older girls.