I admit that I can be a bit vain at times but I'm finding it really devastating to watch my good looks fade. My hair continues to fall out and I'm really going to have to do something about it soon. I wish I had the money for a hair transplant but it looks like I am going to be left with no choice but to shave my head. Bald. And my GF's friend who is a hair stylist says that if I'm allergic to J4M then I'll probably have the same reaction to other dye products. I can't shave it off because of the scar on my chin and because the GF really likes it. The beard, that is, not the scar. So now I'm faced with the unappealing prospect of being a baldheaded grey-bearded old man at 35. Not that anybody cares.
I have always freaked out about getting older. I don't know why, but even when I was a kid I would divide my age by 80 to see what percentage of my life was already gone. I was never excited about birthdays other than for the fact that I would get presents. When I was a kid I did not like getting older even though it meant I could do more things (drive, vote, drink, etc...) So I can appreciate your fear of seeing the death spiral of age showing on your body.
1) If you want to look younger then shave your head. Guys who shave their heads seem to become ageless and can easily pass as 10 years older or younger. I'm close to being 37 and people sometimes think I'm in my late 20s.
2) Goatees don't turn gray overnight so it's obviously gray right now. If you've been hiding the gray the entire time she's known you then I suggest shaving it off and dealing with the scar. If you're going natural right now then the cat's already out of the bag.
3) I've read that off-the-shelf dyes are totally different from professional dyes, so it's possible you may not be allergic to those. There's also a type made out of Henna that a search on Google showed as being "hypoallergenic"
Take a look at these search results for Hypoallergenic beard dye:
http://tinyurl.com/3wnllzs4) Shave the head and the goatee and get corrective surgery on the scar. At some point your goatee will be white as snow and very old guys with darkly dyed hair look... like walking corpses? Since you tend to base your relationships on lies you're probably going to need to catch new trophy girlfriends on a fairly regular basis, and at some point the white goat's gonna need to go.
5) If you're 40 then it's only a matter of time before it gets exposed anyway. Got Facebook? Someone's bound to make a reference to your age on the wall at some point. "Hey man why weren't you at our 20th back in '09?" Don't got Facebook? Only old people don't have Facebook! Even if someone else doesn't reveal the secret, you will! You're bound to say something like "I remember being in calculus class when the shuttle blew up!" or "After I graduated college my new job was so great I went out and treated myself to a Super Nintendo!"
6) OK, so you've stopped your goatee from exposing your hair but now what? What about your chest hair and the skin next to your eyes? How are you going to handle hiding the aches and pains of growing older?
7) Get rich (before it's illegal) or famous (not infamous). Women don't care how old or ugly you are if they can drain wealth and fame from you - just ask Jagger or Sean Connery.
In the grand scheme of things 35 isn't all that much different from 40, I hope.
Like I said, I appreciate your fear but I think what you are doing is a bit... deceptive and unfeasible?