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Being a Best Man for my Best Friend's Wedding! by benlen on 15 Apr, 2013 08:10
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Hey slybaldguys,
I learned this weekend that my best friend from college (we both graduated last year) is marrying his girlfriend/now-fiance in six weeks. They're still establishing themselves and are looking to work overseas for awhile (either as foreign officers in embassies, or something exciting like that) or attend graduate school out of country.
But before that, they'd like to get married! It isn't a shotgun wedding, and it is not a hugely complex affair either. That's not their style. But they do want to have a ceremony, groomsmen, bridesmaids, and a best man, who is me.
I cannot tell you how extremely honored I am to be my friend's best man. I've always wanted to be a best man at a wedding, but I never expected to be asked so soon in life (but I suppose 24 isn't so outlandish, is it?)
Anyway, I'm sharing this info with you all because I'm looking for advice on how I can be the best possible best man I can. I'd love to hear experiences from other guys here. What did you do, what would you have done better if you could? What pitfalls do I need to avoid, and how do I make this my friend's best day of his life? -
#1 by Laser Man on 15 Apr, 2013 11:16
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A couple quick tips:
1) be low key - it's the bride's (and groom's) day. No one appreciates a best man who trys to upstage the couple.
2) assuming you will be doing a toast, spend a little time drafting and practicing it. Keep it short and sweet. Since you have been honored by the groom, you owe it to the happy couple to put some effort into the toast. A rambling, bumbling toast is both awkward and insulting. Unless you are a brilliant wit, don't try hard to be humorous - it usually falls flat.
3) Pay attention to the details - the groom and bride will be busy with the wedding prep and the wedding day. If you can, handle the details for the groom, e.g., get the ring from him ahead of time, know the schedule of events. -
#2 by Sandy28 on 16 Apr, 2013 04:02
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grats dude
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#3 by bella on 16 Apr, 2013 07:29
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My only experience with a best man tells me... it's not your job to get the groom as drunk as possible while the bride is getting ready. She will thank you later, I promise.
Basically, just being a helping hand on the big day should be enough. There are always last minute emergencies, errands to be run, etc. It really varies from wedding to wedding but just being prepared should be well-appreciated. -
#4 by chgobuzzbald on 17 Apr, 2013 01:02
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Convince the groom to shave his head so you both match or get him drunk and shave it the night before the wedding. Hey,
that s what best men are for
getting the groom in trouble.
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#5 by Lynchy on 17 Apr, 2013 07:18
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A couple quick tips:
1) be low key - it's the bride's (and groom's) day. No one appreciates a best man who trys to upstage the couple.
2) assuming you will be doing a toast, spend a little time drafting and practicing it. Keep it short and sweet. Since you have been honored by the groom, you owe it to the happy couple to put some effort into the toast. A rambling, bumbling toast is both awkward and insulting. Unless you are a brilliant wit, don't try hard to be humorous - it usually falls flat.
3) Pay attention to the details - the groom and bride will be busy with the wedding prep and the wedding day. If you can, handle the details for the groom, e.g., get the ring from him ahead of time, know the schedule of events.
This is awesome advice!
I will add; Speak from the heart and you can't really go wrong. Also don't get drunk before the speech lol -
#6 by Sir Harry on 17 Apr, 2013 07:43
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As a groomsman in my sister's wedding two months ago, my brother in law's best man did a nice job. As the others have said, don't try to upstage the couple on their special day, be ready, willing able to do what the groom needs, and keep the toast short and sweet. Most importantly, just relax and be yourself; this can be an experience you will remember forever. When taking pictures, it's okay to be loose and funny a little, but once again don't try to "stand out" in any of the pictures. Congratulations and enjoy!
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#7 by isleepinthebuff on 18 Apr, 2013 15:28
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1) Remember the rings
2) Base the speech around your friendship, the qualities he brings to that cos he taking these into his marriage and his new wife will benefit from him being the guy he is. Afterall if he is your best friend, he has to be a great guy
3) Be his eyes and his ears on the day, for the bride and groom the day can be a bit of a blur, through nerves, busyness and the actual stress of the day! Makes sue he sees things he may miss and that he can be relaxed enought to enjoy -
#8 by clipped on 18 Apr, 2013 22:45
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In addition to what others have said, it's key to remember that your job is to help the groom (and bride, although the maid of honor has the same responsibilities to the bride) have a wonderful wedding day. Some simple things can help that. For example, make sure the groom & bride remember to eat. Often, the bride & groom are so busy they don't get to eat. Also, ask the groom what you can do to make his day easier and more fun. Maybe he needs someone to help the photographer get pictures of certain key family people, or a group picture of his buddies; maybe he would appreciate your dancing with a special Aunt or Grandmother to make her feel special...really whatever he needs you to do so he doesn't have to worry about those things. Then, just don't forget to do what he asked.
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#9 by Psukhe on 20 Apr, 2013 09:26
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Anyway, I'm sharing this info with you all because I'm looking for advice on how I can be the best possible best man I can. I'd love to hear experiences from other guys here. What did you do, what would you have done better if you could? What pitfalls do I need to avoid, and how do I make this my friend's best day of his life?
Coke and escorts?
I kid I kid.