way down in the pits, need some advice.

[babb4214]

hey guys, i've got a story that happened to me just in the last couple of weeks that i need your help with.
I've been dating this girl for about 1.5 years, and i TOTALLY loved her. The bad thing about it was that it was a long distance relationship, hard for anyone but i know they can work. but a few weeks ago she tells me that she's tired of this and she doesn't want to do it anymore, she needed someone around. so i took it like a champ for about a week, talking to other girls, no dates or anything, but just talking. but yesterday i see a picture of her and her new boyfriend, and i was thinking "damn that was fast", but she's like a 10 so it's not exactly hard for her to find any guy she wanted. so i call her up and am talking to her, come to find out that they have been together pretty much SINCE we broke up, they were even hanging out before we broke up....this is what tears me apart fellas....she replaced me just like that, pretty much forgetting about all the love and feelings that we shared...i know she's slept with him already, i cant help but to think about that, and it makes me sick to my stomach, i havent been eating much lately anyways because of the stress from the break up, but now i'm eating virtually NOTHING. I cant sleep anymore, last night i went to bed at midnight and woke up at 5, of course dreaming about her. I'm really not an outgoing guy, i dont just go up to people and talk to them, so i really dont meet new people easily. I dont know guys, i really dont know how to get over her... i want to, because she's over me, even though she says she's not but what ever.... please help guys, i need it!!!

[bubbadave3]

Right now, I'd recommend that you surround yourself with supportive people, and take it easy for a while. . . soak in a warm bath, drink some good tea or coffee, just whatever it is that you can do to take some down time and relax.

[SBG Math Guy]

Ok it looks like you made a wrong investment.  For a relationship to be successful you need both woman and man to invest into it.  She replaced you just like that because you didn’t know her well enough.   You shouldn’t be too sad about it bro because you were not in love with her.  You were in love with who you thought she was.  You are in love with the woman you want her to be. 
She is not the woman you thought she was.   So move on bro.  Forgive yourself and remember there are many good women out there who will not cheat on you, are probably more beautiful than her, and will probably be attracted to you. 
This stuff happens to people very often, and the good news is you will get over it.  Time heals everything.   Just have some patience.

[Mikekoz13]

First.... if she cheated on you in any way then she isn't a "10" at all.

Long distance relationships are hard. That whole"absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing is a bunch of crap. You build a relationship by spending time together and getting to know each other.

Move on my friend....... it's amazing how the attention of the opposite sex will make her seem very insignificant.

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

Babb, you sound just like me about 2 years ago. I was in the exact same boat. (S.S. Despair, anyone?) Trust me on this, you will realize later that this ending will be a major turning point in your life for the better. LDR's work like this: If they work, they really work, like a fairy tale. If they dont, they are a huge soul-sucking ordeal that wastes a lot of time and resources.

If you want to truly get over this ordeal and get on with your life (as she obviously has) then you need to completely sever all ties. Dont call her. Dont talk to her. If she comes back, (IMHO) dont take her back. There will always be that spectre lurking in the recesses of your mind that this will happen again. (as in my case. my ex came back to me, then did the exact same thing again after she swore up and down that it wouldnt.) She made her bed, now she has to lie in it.

After my breakup, I had a life-changing moment. I shaved my head, and got out there. I wasnt looking for anything but a good time (and maybe a little trouble along the way... ) and i ended up meeting my now-wife. (who ended up having to go back to Brazil for a year, but that was an awesome journey in its own. Like i said, LDR's will either be a fairy tale, or a night terror.)

Bottom line, for right now, just chill. get to know yourself. find a place in yourself that your comfortable. Then when youre ready, go out. Let the night(s) take you where they may. Confidence and good times will come back.

Promise.  

[Timmay]

Babb, SMACK SMACK wake up! Seriously bro.  It was a long distance relationship and you did not mention in your post if you have actually met her in person or not.  The internet is the biggest misconception in this world.  You can be who ever you want to be, on the phone or the net.  If you had the chance to actually meet her in person, I bet you would find out she wasnt what you thought she was.   I guess I may have been speaking out of my zone here because I have never formed a relationship over the internet, well not a relationship like you have with this girl.  I have made alot of friends on here and have actually met several of them.  Even before I met them, I had my doubts.  You have to get a grip of yourself and move on.  Maybe this was your first true love, I dunno, but I do know that there are plenty of available women out there.  You just have to get up off your rear end and go find them. 
Like Mike said, if she cheated on you, she wasnt a 10 to begin with.

[champ007]

Dude, get over it. No woman is worth losing yourself over them.
Life goes on, plenty of fish in the sea, etc. etc. blah blah blah.
Unless your married who cares who she is bangin as long as your getting yours.
Just take it as a lesson and move on. Quit looking for love and look for a quick fix if you know what I mean. It can be very therapeutic!
Pick yourself up and put yourself out there, what do you have to lose?

[PowerOfCheese]

You need a new woman fast!

to quote champ

Quit looking for love and look for a quick fix if you know what I mean. It can be very therapeutic!

That works well most of the time. Its worth a shot. Go to GNC and buy a tub of their mass gainer stuff that mixes with milk. A cup of that stuff is 600-800 calories when mixed with milk. If you're not eating well right now, this can help keep you from shriveling up to nothing while you work this out.

[GASlick]

Hate that you're going through this, but life goes on.  I must echo what Koz said:  If she cheated on you, then she is NOT a 10!  Give yourself a couple of days to feel sorry for yourself; then get up, get out and get on with life.

That sounds kind of brutal I know, but life is tough.  We, your SLY brahs, have your back.  Let us know if you need some support, but I think you'll be OK.

[babb4214]

thanks for all your advice guys, it's helping a little bit. to answer a few questions:
timmJ: yes i've met her, we met in college, right as she was graduating and moving back home, to San Diego where she was from, i'm from Idaho so it's not a quick drive over. Yes we've visited a few times, her coming here and me going there. But i guess this last absense was the last straw for her. The thing that gets me the most is that she's goin on with life all happy like nothing ever happend, totally leaving me out of her thoughts and out of her mind... THATS what gets me. i know i gotta pick myself up, and get out there, but really that's easier said than done. all in all, i really had a lot of feelings for this girl, and i could see a future with her, and now that's all gone. ahh, i'm just going through hell right now, i cant get any of this sh*t ( pardon my language) out of my head, no matter what i try to do!!

[BaldMark]

The fellas are right,  If she can move on so easily and do this to you, she's not even worth giving a second thought too.  It's unfortunate this happened but better now then for it to have happened, when your married or have kids.  She is just going to do this again and again.   A clean break!  Delete her number remove her email addresses so you will lose the urge to contact her.   It's tough, I think we have all been there, but it really does make you a stronger person learning how to pick up the pieces and move on.

Looks aren't everything.  Her appearance may have been a 10. But what she did lowers her to SCUM.  Some girls are weird.  I went out with this chick she broke up with her boyfriend 5 days before we started going out this instantly sent off warning bells.  Things were going fine then we broke after a few months and within a week after the breakup i ran into her with her new boyfriend.   Funny thing is I know i'm better then the new guy!  So don't sweat it. You know your better then him too.  Who knows you might end up marrying a beauty like PeripheralxMvmnt did.

[samoanseb8]

Mate,
          I've been in the exact same situation. I know what she was thinking, and not to take her side at all, but If she was a 10 looks wise, she is going to have guys hitting on her every day. It's was only going to be a matter of time before this happened. I agree with the other people posting saying that you built her up too much in your mind to be your perfect match. Perception in the mind is very powerful, after all, it is the very root of our existence! In other words she is only what you make her out in your mind to be. If you refuse to believe that she would cheat on you, you probably gave her a little too much credit and weren't open to the possibility of it actually happening which is why it hurt so much. It sux man because I know the exact sick to the stomach heartache you are feeling. I tend to be a little more analytical when it comes to girls and it has helped me guage personalities of a person and it has helped me in the dating world. Looks don't mean squat if they don't have the personality type that best suits yours, and is often the exact opposite to yours. So keep your head up dude, it passes...and the more girls you talk to, the better your chances right!? It's a numbers game my man, so crawl back out of your shell and go chase some tail!
 

[Ghost1988]

Babb, you sound just like me about 2 years ago. I was in the exact same boat. (S.S. Despair, anyone?) Trust me on this, you will realize later that this ending will be a major turning point in your life for the better. LDR's work like this: If they work, they really work, like a fairy tale. If they dont, they are a huge soul-sucking ordeal that wastes a lot of time and resources.

If you want to truly get over this ordeal and get on with your life (as she obviously has) then you need to completely sever all ties. Dont call her. Dont talk to her. If she comes back, (IMHO) dont take her back. There will always be that spectre lurking in the recesses of your mind that this will happen again. (as in my case. my ex came back to me, then did the exact same thing again after she swore up and down that it wouldnt.) She made her bed, now she has to lie in it.

After my breakup, I had a life-changing moment. I shaved my head, and got out there. I wasnt looking for anything but a good time (and maybe a little trouble along the way... ) and i ended up meeting my now-wife. (who ended up having to go back to Brazil for a year, but that was an awesome journey in its own. Like i said, LDR's will either be a fairy tale, or a night terror.)

Bottom line, for right now, just chill. get to know yourself. find a place in yourself that your comfortable. Then when youre ready, go out. Let the night(s) take you where they may. Confidence and good times will come back.

Promise.  

ide listen to peripheral. you got a sexy lil wife there man haha. with all due respect  . but anyways........

samoanseb, ive been in this EXACT situation except mine was for 2 years and i ended up moving so she left me. it was one of the hardest things ive had to deal with. then i started losing my hair and forgot about her haha. in fact i never wanted to see her again cuz i figured shed give me a hardtime about the hairloss lol.

hairloss does come in handy afteral. lol

[warhawk]

hey babb:  1st of all... i'm going 2 pray 4 U during this emotional time.  it's heartbreaking when one's "heart" is  broken.  however... what doesn't "kill" U will make U stronger.    in the meantime... delete her number, email address, photos, etc because this will B the 1st step towards recovery.  also... stay "busy" & active & surround yourself with positive people.
 
when U R "ready"... start going out on dates.  U don't have 2 start a serious relationship or look 4 love...just go out & have fun.  keep us posted & remember your sly brothers R here 4 U.  take care, brah.  remember... U will become a stronger person once U begin that 1st step. 

WARHAWK

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

I tend to be a little more analytical when it comes to girls and it has helped me guage personalities of a person and it has helped me in the dating world.

man, if i only had that quality, it would have saved me a lot of headaches and heartaches. haha