way down in the pits, need some advice.

[TANK25]

I just got out of a two year relationship 4months ago.The best thing I could tell you.Stay busy bro,I enjoy working out,so I started working out like a mad man.Take your time and play the field.

[babb4214]

thanks for all of your support fellas, i really appreciate it, it's helping too! here's an update:

well i ended up calling her yesterday evening, ( yeah i know stupid move right?) well it didn't turn out to be so stupid. i actually think i needed final closure on things, and that's what i got. I mean, yesterday, i was having a million CRAZY thoughts going through my head, one of which was me leaving everything i have here and moving down there to be with her, if she would do that. i was going nuts! Thankfully, she told me everything was too late, that she had moved on and she wanted me to move on too. She said she didn't love me the way she used to. which is understandable... i mean i think you guys are right when you said that in my head i made her something that i wanted when she really wasn't. I have to keep thinking about the bad things about her/our relationship, because while i was in it, i was pretty unhappy too, and the bad outweighed the good in this case. i guess there was a reason why i didn't move down to San Diego in the first place, maybe it was because i didn't love her like i thought i did, i dont know but there was a reason why i didnt.

anyways, i'm doing a little better now, thanks to you guys. It's still a little tough and things still run through my head, but it's not quite as bad. it's hard forgetting her email and phone number when i've been writing it a ton of times over the last year. but i'm trying tho. If you guys have any more advice, i'd definately love to have it!
thanks again sly bros.

[warhawk]

hey babb:  thanks 4 the update.  i'm glad that U R getting better.  just remember... your brothers in sly R here 4 U anytime.  it sounds like your getting 2 B okay.  take care & stay busy.

WARHAWK

[PowerOfCheese]

Hang in there man. There will definitely be highs and lows. One minute you'll be okay and the next your head will be spinning. It seems to be part of the process and gets easier and easier over time.

Try to turn the energy your generating into something positive for yourself. When it happened to me I spent even more time at the driving range crushing golf balls and at night, every time she popped into my head I'd drop down and do push ups. Needless to say, I did A LOT of push ups. That being said, finding a new girlie was first on the list and made the biggest difference.

Everyone is different but for me, having some kind of physical outlet was so much more productive than sitting and stewing. Before I knew it I was buff, had an improved golf game and more than one girlfriend. Bouncing back strong is good for the soul and you'll end up being proud of yourself.

You can do it man. 

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

thanks for all of your support fellas, i really appreciate it, it's helping too! here's an update:

well i ended up calling her yesterday evening, ( yeah i know stupid move right?) well it didn't turn out to be so stupid. i actually think i needed final closure on things, and that's what i got. I mean, yesterday, i was having a million CRAZY thoughts going through my head, one of which was me leaving everything i have here and moving down there to be with her, if she would do that. i was going nuts! Thankfully, she told me everything was too late, that she had moved on and she wanted me to move on too. She said she didn't love me the way she used to. which is understandable... i mean i think you guys are right when you said that in my head i made her something that i wanted when she really wasn't. I have to keep thinking about the bad things about her/our relationship, because while i was in it, i was pretty unhappy too, and the bad outweighed the good in this case. i guess there was a reason why i didn't move down to San Diego in the first place, maybe it was because i didn't love her like i thought i did, i dont know but there was a reason why i didnt.

anyways, i'm doing a little better now, thanks to you guys. It's still a little tough and things still run through my head, but it's not quite as bad. it's hard forgetting her email and phone number when i've been writing it a ton of times over the last year. but i'm trying tho. If you guys have any more advice, i'd definately love to have it!
thanks again sly bros.

glad to hear its getting better for ya! like cheese said, focus that energy somewhere else. soon enough youll be out there breaking hearts in no time. 

[capthappy8p]

yeh man glad to hear everything turned out alright. yeh just listen to ur sly bros they are right... when things go sour with me and a girl i just sever the connections and move on and dont look back....

Youll find someone soon just go out and have fun, and if your a little insecure drink some curage juice!!! that of course goes if ur of age lol 

[jrob]

I know it is really hard. Been there and have done that. I would think about what I could have done different in the past.

However, I realized maybe they were not the right one for me. As time passes, you will feel better and look for the right one. Your ex-girlfriend may be a 10 in looks, but I rather have a 10 in personality and a warm heart.

Having a successful relationship is hard enough. Long distance relationships just make it much harder. Be patient and soon enough you will find the right one for you.

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

babb, how has everything been? can we get an update? hope all is well!

[babb4214]

Hey bros!
well here's a little update for you guys in case you were wondering, and i thank all of you for your concern, especially peripheral, thanks a lot bro!
anyways, things are getting better. I've gotten rid of most of everything that had to do with her, still a few more things that i have to get rid of, but that'll happen SOON!! I still think about her, that's natural i guess, at least it's not all the time like it was...it's cut WAY down which is good...sometimes i get a little bummed but i'm kind of re-doing my thinking about her and realizing more and more that the BITCH AINT WORTH IT. Why should i be all down and stuff when she had some problems that i really hated about her? Why should i be down about her when she didn't care and just found someone else RIGHT OFF THE BAT?... i shouldn't care, and every day, more and more i'm not caring, which is good and i thank you guys for your encouragement along the way!!
Anyways, when it comes to other ladies, i'm QUITE the shy guy... it sucks... even this last saturday i was out and had a good amount of "courage juice" in me, but still nothin! i mean, i used to know how to talk to girls, but it's like whenever i'm dating a girl for a good length of time, i totally lose my game!! i dont know, i'm kind of a head case when it comes to that... too shy to approach a girl and start a convo....any suggestions other than "nut up and do it" ?

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

Hey bros!
well here's a little update for you guys in case you were wondering, and i thank all of you for your concern, especially peripheral, thanks a lot bro!
anyways, things are getting better. I've gotten rid of most of everything that had to do with her, still a few more things that i have to get rid of, but that'll happen SOON!! I still think about her, that's natural i guess, at least it's not all the time like it was...it's cut WAY down which is good...sometimes i get a little bummed but i'm kind of re-doing my thinking about her and realizing more and more that the BITCH AINT WORTH IT. Why should i be all down and stuff when she had some problems that i really hated about her? Why should i be down about her when she didn't care and just found someone else RIGHT OFF THE BAT?... i shouldn't care, and every day, more and more i'm not caring, which is good and i thank you guys for your encouragement along the way!!
Anyways, when it comes to other ladies, i'm QUITE the shy guy... it sucks... even this last saturday i was out and had a good amount of "courage juice" in me, but still nothin! i mean, i used to know how to talk to girls, but it's like whenever i'm dating a girl for a good length of time, i totally lose my game!! i dont know, i'm kind of a head case when it comes to that... too shy to approach a girl and start a convo....any suggestions other than "nut up and do it" ?

babb, glad to hear that youre going so well with it! its normal and natural to have sporadic and fleeting thoughts about her, and it goes away over time.

as far as your game, no amount of liquor or fermented yeast will ever replace natural swagger and confidence. You just need some time to get your head back in the game, not just your head. (think about that one if you need to.  )

and yeah, basically, nut up and do it.   

[babb4214]

haha, thanks man!
yeah, i'm just a big pussy now a days. i mean, i used to rely on my looks A LOT a few years ago, but now that i'm getting older, i'm starting to realize that i cant do that anymore...it sucks but i guess i'm going to have to get used to it soon or later, hopefully sooner.
anyways, the tough part is going out and meeting new chicks. I'm pretty new to the area and the only people i know here are family, so it's kind of lame. we go out every now and then, but they have gf's and everything, so it's lame for me. AND... this part is my fault... but i'm a PICKY dude... sometimes a little too picky, and i think that's a pretty big downfall, need some advice getting over that too!! anyways, advice is appreciated.

[babb4214]

Alright guys, i'm about to vent here just a little bit, bear with me.
SO, out of NOWHERE last night, when i'm doing well, i'm laid back, having a brew with a bud, she TEXTS ME... askings "hows everything"....now what kind of BULLSHIT is that? so i proceeded to say "why do you care" and all of that sort of thing...anyways, all in all, she ended up calling me and telling me all this sh*t, and i told her where i was with things. i told her that i got rid of everything that reminds me of her, so i dont have ANYTHING that has to do with her anymore, every picture, song, book, clothing, knick knack, EVERYTHING... was gone... and she's like "how could you do that? how could you get rid of all of those memories?", and i just told her it was too painful for me to remember, i had to do it... anyways, it was SHITTY last night... it's like women can sense that you're starting to do okay for yourself and then they have to make an appearance and screw you up. guys i feel like i'm slippin and little bit, i really dont want to, i F'd up and talked to her, but it's just like even when i got a damn two word text from her my heart started pounding....out of anger and pain both...just from a text. i need to get this chick out of sight out of mind....i was doing so well too... damn it.... i told her i dont want her to text me or anything... and i really hope she doesn't, this is sh*t guys, i need help!!!

[warhawk]

i need to get this chick out of sight out of mind....i was doing so well too... damn it.... i told her i dont want her to text me or anything... and i really hope she doesn't, this is sh*t guys, i need help!!!

hey b:  that is exactly right..."out of sight out of mind".  U did well until U answered your phone.  have her # blocked so that U don't have the urge 2 answer.  your doing well  & keep your sly head up.   

WARHAWK

[time2shine]

Women can be emotional mind game artists, dude.  Like Warhawk said, block her number, so you don't fall into her games.  It will be hard, but communication needs to be cut off.

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

you shouldnt have even texted her back dude. you should have just let it go. and i agree with warhawk, block her number. who is she to care about memories and the past when she was so quick to jump ship?  i can guarantee shes trying to weasel her way back in because "she messed up" or because shes wanting familiarity. steady your course straight ahead, and dont look back.

per my humble opinion.