Bricklayer

• Bricklayer by Hook'Em on 12 Aug, 2008 14:10
• AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER' S ACCIDENT REPORT
  >
  > Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a
  > bricklayer's
  > accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the
  > Australian
  > equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is
  > a true story.
  > Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award.
  >
  >
  > Dear Sir,
  > I am writing in response to your request for additional
  > information in
  > Block 3 of the accident report form. I put 'poor
  > planning' as the cause
  > of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I
  > trust the
  > following details will be sufficient.
  >
  > I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I
  > was working
  > alone on the roof of a new six-story building.  When I
  > completed my
  > work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when
  > weighed later
  > were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.  Rather
  > than carry the
  > bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by
  > using a
  > pulley, which was attached to the side of the building
  > on the sixth floor.
  >
  > Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung
  > the barrel out
  > and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
  > the rope,
  > holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
  > You will
  > note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh
  > 135 lbs.
  >
  > Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
  > suddenly, I
  > proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.  In
  > the vicinity
  > of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now
  > proceeding downward
  > at an equally impressive speed. This explained the
  > fractured skull,
  > minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in
  > section 3 of
  > the accident report form.
  >
  > Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
  > stopping until
  > the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into
  > the pulley.
  > Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind
  > and was able
  > to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to
  > experience pain.
  >
  > At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
  > bricks hit the
  > ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of
  > the weight
  > of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.  I
  > refer you
  > again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid
  > descent, down
  > the side of the building.
  >
  > In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming
  > up. This
  > accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
  > several
  > lacerations of my legs and lower body.
  >
  > Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with
  > the barrel
  > seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell
  > into the pile
  > of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were
  > cracked.
  >
  > I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile
  > of bricks, in
  > pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and
  > presence of mind and
  > let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty
  > barrel begin its
  > journey back down onto me.
  > This explains the two broken legs.
  >
  > I hope this answers your inquiry.
  >
  > Kevin Roben
  > Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd
  > PO Box 5004 ( 11 Dobney Ave )
  > Wagga Wagga NSW 2650
  
• #1 by buuckkweet on 12 Aug, 2008 14:53
• OMG!!!