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Please Help dudes! by chrispc21 on 10 May, 2008 21:31
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So I am going pretty crazy with decided on what to do with myself. I have AA (ALOCPECIA AREATA) and its has become a problem again lately. I would like to stick it out for another month or so and see if my hair grows back, but I am very impatient with things like this.
I would just do it, but you have to remember I have AA so if I do it theres a good chance it won't ever be coming back and im only 22. The other problem is the way people react to it. My eyebrows have also fallen out so I am afraid of looking sickly. The aniexty of this stems for being a kid and having no hair. Being completly bald again and having people say the things they said to me again scare me to death. Not only that, but I have to put up with reactions from the workplace, family, and friends.
The other thing is the girls. I never even got a look when I was fully bald or balding when I was in HS. Later when my hair grew pretty much fully back it seemed as though there was a lot more interest and I was able to get girls finally. It seemed like the weight of the world was off my chest. Now, it feels like its back on me.
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#1 by Tyler on 10 May, 2008 22:39
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Chris, welcome to Sly Bald Guys!
It's going to be ok, regardless if you shave your head or not. As for shaving your head, I'm pretty sure you still might be able to grow hair if you do shave, though check with a doctor to be sure. I know of at least one guy here that has AA and feels much better off from shaving than he did before. As for your eyebrows, there are actually guys here that shave theirs.
In regards to people's comments, kids can be cruel, but you're older now and if the people your associating yourself with are going to make negative comments about you shaving your head when you have AA, then they aren't the people you should be surrounding yourself with. As for women, they will go for a man with confidence, hair or not, so regardless of what you do with your hair, find your inner confidence and the women will find you.
I hope that helps! -
#2 by Sgt. Pate on 10 May, 2008 22:51
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Welcome Chris!
+1 on what Tyler said. The first step is to learn to be happy with yourself. Any changes you make to your appearance are going to get a response and you can count on the horses asses to act like horses asses, but that's them.
For me, shaving my head was a step toward taking back control of my life. It helped me once and for all face my tendency to be a "people pleaser". People pleasing doesn't work... someone is always going to be unhappy and that someone was ALWAYS me.
Now, the only opinion I care about is that of my wifes because I am convinced that she has my best interest in mind. Everyone else can kiss my hairy white butt!
Dunno if any of that helps but I hope that whatever you decide, that it's whats best for you and makes you the happiest.
Most women will tell you that a confident (not arrogant) man is irresistible.
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#3 by PhilFromFR on 11 May, 2008 06:32
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Welcome Chris,
In my opinion, (that is, from my very own experience) the real problem does not lies with "the others" but with yourself.
What we really do is project our own self-perception into others. Generally it does not work unless you are a mind reader.
However, we do project a global image to others.
If you do not like your appearance, it will show. This probably is the first thing to adjust.
Take the picture you posted. It is not a very good one. Why ?
Because you do not care how you look ? From your post, I do not think so.
Because it is difficult to look at yourself ? I cannot answer for you. But for me, before, it was "No Picture Whatsoever".
So back to the camera. Dress up ! Adjust the expression, no flash, natural light, shoot from every angle and take a good look at the result.
Now on with the clipper and shoot again.
And if you are feel daring, shave it all and shoot again and again and again. But never in a haste. Take your time. And you may soon discover that you look good (maybe even better) without hair!
And then you will feel better, and it will show.
Now, on with "the girls".
From my point of view, there is no such entity as "the girls". Each person is unique. Statistics are only meaningful when dealing with very large groups. (Want a harem ?)
To think that you cannot seduce someone because you lose your hair is a comfortable way of absolving yourself of responsibility.
What does it take to seduce this girl ? (And not "a" girl) If you do not know the answer; starting with "what does it take to seduce me" may be a good starting point...
Sorry if this seems a little blunt. I know (from experience) that all this is easier said than done...
A final note (at last must you think ! ) about what others have to say. I suggest you read this :
http://www.eturama.com/lafontaine/fables/en/the-miller-his-son-and-the-ass.php
It's quite refreshing... -
#4 by schro on 11 May, 2008 06:57
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Chris,
Others have basically covered what I was thinking. Having belief & confidence in yourself is key. I too was losing my hair at a very young age (and took a lot of grief) in high school & college. The hair I did have was thick and it looked ok. I wasn't any type of "ladie's man" but had a lot of fun in life because life is fun ..... if you let it be.
I personally experienced a tremendous increase in confidence when I shaved my head (I'm sure other SBG's did also). No more being self conscious, less time worrying about a stiff breeze coming up, no more "hat head" nonsense. Plus, I've grown to love the look on me. It's who I am. Plus, what do you think looks (and sounds) better....a smooth & slick dome or a hairy toliet seat?
For the longest time, I was uncertain if it was even a good look on me. A lot of that likely had to do with my wife's dislike of it.
It's disappointing she can't get behind it, but it's her loss, not mine. Plus, as a result of shaving my head, I've gotten complete relief from a painful & irritating scalp condition that has afflicted me for all my life. That alone is worth it.
Hair or no hair, enjoying life starts from within.
Good luck,
Schro -
#5 by ZDB2k on 11 May, 2008 08:23
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Hey Chris!
Welcome to the forums. These guys have covered it all pretty well. I started noticeably losing my hair at about 23. It bothered me every day for two years (I'm 25 now). I spent tons of money on "solutions", none in which made me happy or grew back any of my hair for that matter. Anyway, I shaved my head 3 days ago with the help from everyone here. I feel so much better, nothing to hide anymore. I didn't get the reaction that I thought I would, people really don't think it's a big deal. If you think you are going to look sickly - go get a nice healthy looking tan, that will solve that problem. I've hit the tanning booth at the gym twice so far and I'm dome is getting some decent color now and it makes a big difference. I say quit worrying about your hair, it's not worth thinking about every day. If you aren't happy with it, make a change! -
#6 by Jay on 11 May, 2008 09:45
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your 22.
forget about the "girls" in HS.
Aim for "women" You will find that they are more receptive to a bald head. You'll also find that as women get older and put high school/college behind them they start to look more at the person and less on the aesthetics. They have had their fill with the "bad boys" and want someone that will treat them well. -
#7 by no1birdman on 11 May, 2008 10:54
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Hi,u can have your eyebrows tatoed in, shave your head get a tan, stick a couple of big gold earings in and i bet u look great.
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#8 by BALDANDRE on 11 May, 2008 12:01
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Hey dude...
Sorry to hear that you're having a tough time...I'm not in your boat I choose to be bald because I dig the look...and so do most dudes here...
Now, that should tell you something there....in the older crowd (which you are now at) bald is seen more frequently as a "style"...kids not so much, so don't go by your past...
With AA can you tan a bit? If you can when you shave your head completely, work on looking as fit as you can...heck tell everyone you shaved off your brows too!!! Really though if the bald brow part is a deal breaker...look into false ones that can be applied or tattooing or somethin''...
Dude there are options, bald is a cool look...and we all get to the same place ...just in different ways!!
Just so you know with that hair you don't fit in here...bald ya will though!
Go for it bro! -
#9 by Razor X on 11 May, 2008 12:18
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I would just do it, but you have to remember I have AA so if I do it theres a good chance it won't ever be coming back and im only 22. The other problem is the way people react to it. My eyebrows have also fallen out so I am afraid of looking sickly. The aniexty of this stems for being a kid and having no hair. Being completly bald again and having people say the things they said to me again scare me to death. Not only that, but I have to put up with reactions from the workplace, family, and friends.
The other thing is the girls. I never even got a look when I was fully bald or balding when I was in HS. Later when my hair grew pretty much fully back it seemed as though there was a lot more interest and I was able to get girls finally. It seemed like the weight of the world was off my chest. Now, it feels like its back on me.
It's tough to go through something like that at a young age. The big difference is that when you were in high school you were probably the only bald kids in the school -- or one of the few. But there are plenty of bald 22-year-olds, whether by nature or by choice and it's not considered an oddity at all. It will be much easier this time around.
The truth is, you really don't have much choice in the matter. If you've got AA, shaving your head is the only option you really have. So just accept that fact and do what you have to do. Once you do, it will be a big weight off your shoulders and you'll feel a lot better. After a while, you'll realize how insignificant hair really is. We're all conditioned to think it's the single most important part of our appearance, but nothing could be further than the truth. After a while, you won't even want hair anymore. I know that's hard for you to believe right now -- there was a time when I didn't believe it, either, but now as someone who's on the other side of the fence, I can honestly say that bald is better. You just need to take that leap of faith.
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#10 by shakf on 11 May, 2008 13:50
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Hi mate
Sorry to hear about the issues you are facing. I started receding when I was around 25/26. I only recently within the last year or so finally acknowledged that the hair was not coming back. I was not going to wear a wig so that was out of the question. The other route was the HT route. But I think once others know that you are going bald then I think the HT route is just a no go. Not to mention the expense. The only alternative really is to take it off. You don't have to worry about it anymore because you just shave it off and thats it. The only thing I would suggest is that get yourself to the gym and jazz up your wardrobe. Can I ask if you can grow facial hair or not? If you can keep a soul patch or a goatee. But I really can see where you are coming from. -
#11 by Razor X on 11 May, 2008 14:59
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There's a guy I work with who is probably in his early 30s and getting pretty thin on top. As long as I've known him, he's always kept his hair buzzed to about a #2 or #3 -- not nearly as short as he ought to go. We work in different buildings, so I don't see him every day, but last Friday I had to go over to the other building, and he got on the elevator. He'd shaved his head and it took me a few moments to even recognize him. What an improvement! I would have said something but the elevator was full and I didn't want to attract any attention that might not be wanted.
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#12 by Nick912 on 11 May, 2008 15:01
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There's a guy I work with who is probably in his early 30s and getting pretty thin on top. As long as I've known him, he's always kept his hair buzzed to about a #2 or #3 -- not nearly as short as he ought to go. We work in different buildings, so I don't see him every day, but last Friday I had to go over to the other building, and he got on the elevator. He'd shaved his head and it took me a few moments to even recognize him. What an improvement! I would have said something but the elevator was full and I didn't want to attract any attention that might not be wanted.
You should have gave him the secret hand shake dude! -
#13 by michaeltee on 11 May, 2008 15:28
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hi chris, hello to you, im a newbie here myself and i had a smillair problem to yourself. i had a car crash when i was 19 which was major and i started to lose my hair about teh same age youve started to lose your hair. for years it never really effected me with the ladies, as my mates used to say i was the original heartbreak kid lol thanks dave but ill be honest once the vast majority of my hair had gone i did lose my confidence very very badly, i still dont have a great deal but i will be honest here. i cleaned shaved about 2 weeks ago and it felt great. i felt like i did years ago ready to takle thigns the way i used too and i wish i had done it sooner, but i also sympathize with you on how you want too keep your hair for as long as you can, i was the same. all i could suggest is, maybe gradually buzz it down, from maybe a #2 with guard down to a #1 with guard then when you feel right and happy go down to a #0 with no guard then clean shaved. whatever you choose will be the right decision for you and people will respect you my friend
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#14 by SlickEric on 12 May, 2008 09:35
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Welcome Chris,
At this moment you may feel that the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders. It's only hair. There's more to life than that. Don't let your hair or lack of it rule or even ruin your life. Only you will know when it's the right time to headshave. If you don't like the look, you can always let your hair grow back. Most likely you won't.
Take care,
Eric