Peoples reactions to the new look!

[Matt F]

Bad day yesterday. Been about 4 weeks since I started buzzing my hair without the guard and have been getting used to the look. Several people have said they liked it, whilst close family members have been less enthralled! Had a family gathering with my Wife’s side yesterday and I knew that her granddad was going who is notorious for pointing out things about peoples appearances (he declared to me in front of the whole family a few years ago that I was going bald). Anyway, went along and he made the odd comment (in a jokey way) so it wasn't so bad apart from when he said from a distance he could see that I had a dark ring at the back of my head! Then my Wife’s Nan turns up and in front of the whole family starts questioning why I’ve shaved my head & how she prefers ‘hair’! The worst thing is, this went on for about 2 minutes and then she said ‘did you ask your wife’s permission!’. My wife was completely embarrassed by the whole thing and responded by saying ‘I don’t like it either but I’ll have to live with it!’. By this point I’m feeling pretty embarrassed and I think everyone was quite shocked by the whole thing. Fortunately my 2 year old son and 3 year old nephew asked me to watch a film with them, so I was able to escape and recoup from the embarrassment of the whole thing! Next my Wife’s aunty knocked on the door and I thought, bloody hell, I’m just going to get it over with and answer the door! They actually said they liked it. In fairness to my wife, she's been very apologetic today after I got back from work.
 

Why are people so crap with pointing out things they don’t like about someone’s appearance? I would never in a million years make someone feel awkward who had shaved their head because they were going bald! Maybe it’s because I’m in that boat!
 

To be fair to her Nan, she did ask me why I had done it later, so clearly she doesn’t know what it means to be going bald and to be conscious about your thinning bonce all the time.

 
Has anyone else been in a similarly embarrassing position? Does anyone else have a wife who doesn’t really like the shaved head look?
 

I’m dreading meeting the rest of my extended family!

I remember when my uncle, who is bald, said that it seemed to bother other people more than it bothered him. I think this is true, but equally it’s pretty crap when people so obviously are pretty much saying that they prefer you with hair!

 
Sorry guys, rant over (had to get it off my chest)!

 

[Razor X]

Families are like that.  You've made it through the worst.  The next time they will be expecting it and won't comment.  Hang in there.

[slymyke]

Sorry to hear about your experience with the family.  Like Razor said, it will be better next time... and even better after that...

It does amaze me how so many people feel so free to say whatever they want... but family sees to think they have even more authority to say something. 

I still think some people (even balding men) think "some" hair is better than none...even if it is  just a tiny remnant of hair on the back of their head.  How unfortunate for them.  I think a shaved or buzzed head looks better than most hairstyles anyway.

[Semi-Sly]

Shaving your head is a very, very, masculine thing to do - and when you assert your masculinity it threatens extremely controlling women.  So when you get a reaction like this from a women who wants to know why you didn't solicit "permission" from her or from another female in the family  --- well you know what kind of a woman it is!  (Self Centered ________!)

The kind of statements this woman made; or even that of your wife,  (i.e. "I am the "poor victim" who has to live with it")  remind me several female air traffic controllers and ex-wives that I have known!

These women obviously care more about themselves than they do about you, how you feel, and how you are dealing with a major life change.  So, if they are not going to care about you - make sure that you care enough about yourself to do something good and positive for yourself.  You know that you look, (and FEEL) better being buzzed or razor shaved.  It is undeniable at this point in your hair loss.  So, OWN it; be assertive, and keep them guessing as to what new masculine activities you just might engage in "without their permission"!

[Magoo]

Hang in there !  " This too will pass " . Most of us all had some family opposition when first going sly.

[Cave Dweller]

I also do not understand why family members think it acceptable to make their personal opinions known regarding an adult's appearance when such opinions were not solicited. I am sorry you had that experience.

Like some of the other gentlemen have stated, the initial surprise will have worn off the next time you see them, so there will be far less of a reaction.

[chgobuzzbald]

Not  much  to add except absolutely assert yourself with all concerned. Meaning this is your new haircut and you like it.  It is a contemporary haircut many men chose whether they have hair loss or not.   Do not act as is if you are a victim of anything or they will just play into it and try to get you to go back to some hair as if there is value in it which today there is not. For women there is a great need for hair so they often assume men feel the same.  Never ask for their approval or act like you need it to he happy. You don't.

[Matt F]

Guys, thanks for the support. BBBA - your comment 'threatens extremely controlling women' hit the nail on the head. My Wife's Nan is extremely controlling and this is a well known negative trait of hers (it's something that the whole family have regularly passed comment on before). Assertiveness seems to be what you guys are telling me, so that's what I'm going to have. I'm actually quite looking forward to seeing her again and to be more 'assertive' if any comments are made!
To be honest, I do really like the look and am going to stick with it.
Thanks Guys - strength in numbers!

[Munkynutz]

I agree with what the lads have written here.  This will improve over time for you until you get to he point where buzzed down or shaved people are just going to expect it of your image and there will be nothing said on either side anymore.  I say lift weights until you're a staggering 475lbs of pure muscle and no one will even have the testes to look you in the eyes or cough in your general direction, let alone comment on your hair.... hahahaha.  No that's a joke, but seriously it will get much better.

I have a brother in law who should honestly just sacrifice his hair and move on with life but instead he spends his time combing it forward and drying it in an overly particular fashion to try and disguise the fact he is 50% bald at least.  It doesn't work.  I have learned form this lesson and would never attempt it, but then I have always maintained I'd rather be shaved clean than I would trying to comb hair over a thinning scalp which fools no one and doesn't look good EVER.

People often point out these things in other people because they have their own insecurities and picking on someone else somehow makes them feel better about their own.  Sad but true story.

I work with about 150 people and of that many I'd say there are probably 50 people who are bald to the point where they need to have their heads buzzed right down or shaven off to look respectable but do you think any of them do it?  Well okay, 5 of them.  And they are by far the best looking 5 of the bunch, in fact better looking than most of the guys with hair anyway.  Although of those 5 probably only 1 person is truly comfortable with it and makes an effort to shave everyday and look his best.

Anyway best of luck to you man, I will be going through this soon myself.