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"Oh, you're going bald!"
by
Smoothy
on 03 Jan, 2014 00:28
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So, I bumped into an old acquaintance the other day (no longer friends for many reasons),
and he asked me why I always wore a hat....
I mean, he's seen me with a smooth shaved head before,
and maybe a fuzzy head in dim light,
but it was daytime, I'd gone a few days without shaving,
and he felt compelled to take my hat off,
exclaiming the following: "Oh, you're going bald!"
Maybe it came off as a surprise to him,
or he meant it with some vitriol,
my guess is a little bit of both.....
Regardless, it really hurt my feelings,
since.. well, no one's ever gone out of their way to throw it in my face like that...
I mean, before that incident, I'd always just thought I was the only one to notice,
and consequently, that was reason enough for me to become sly....
so that others wouldn't notice, as time went on, and I continued losing hair...
but now, I guess, I've surpassed a level of baldness where other notice too....
I know I'm supposed to embrace being sly (which I do!),
but not going bald!
Sure, I accept that I'm balding, but I don't embrace it....
I went sly to combat the symptoms....
I guess it's still a soft spot, emotionally, for me.
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#1
by
Cave Dweller
on 03 Jan, 2014 02:28
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As an MPB myself, I understand what you are saying. I think there are few men who really want to lose their hair without it being on their own terms.
I also never will understand why family and some friends think it is OK and acceptable to make comments like that. From my experience, the comment usually is made in the context of a "friendly remark" like "Wow, you really are putting on the pounds!" that you somehow are expected to laugh along with.
Sorry it happened, Smoothy. I have found that a good come back can throw the offender off the attack. Saying something like, "Are your eyes still able to see anything, because you seem to have been struck by the blindingly obvious" can put you back in control of the situation and make the attacker the butt of the "joke."
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#2
by
Mike E. P.
on 03 Jan, 2014 07:11
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What a jack ass. I can understand why he is an "old friend." I can also understand how you feel. Losing my hair was hard for me and if I thought someone was making fun of my appearance for their enjoyment, I'd get upset (pissed off, maybe a better word), too.
I get a certain amount of ribbing about my bald head from family and friends, but when they do it, I don't mind because it's done with affection and not mean spirited. I do like my bald head but I do miss my hair, too! However, I try to find the humor in life. However, that guy is just mean or stupid. Thankfully, most people are not like that.
We all have sensitive spots and that is normal. Forget about that guy and his asinine comments. I wouldn't even dignify his remark with a comment. Maybe I would, but I wouldn't write it here in the forum
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#3
by
stasiu
on 03 Jan, 2014 08:25
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Rudeness about Baldness seem to go hair in mouth, so to say. Unfortunately those comments impact our lives. I remember when I was 22 and one of my brother's friends (and so-called friend of mine) said
"how come you're balding and your older brother has full head of hair yet?". Of course I was trying to cover my balding insecurities the best I could at that time and came back with a cocky reply,
"hey I'm bald but at least my teeth are perfect and not gapped like yours". Needles to say that so-called friend then started calling me "baldy" every time he saw me and I just flashed my perfect smile and rubbed the top of my head.
Life goes on.
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#4
by
DOC_OSMC
on 03 Jan, 2014 10:39
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The fact that he felt compelled to take your hat off is a dick move in itself. If anyone did that to me, they would be on the ground! Especially considering you guys are no longer friends.
Forget about the dude, he obviously is not a friend for a reason. Stay confident in yourself and know that you have many sly brothers here to support you.
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#5
by
Sir Harry
on 03 Jan, 2014 12:25
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Welcome back, Smoothy! The bigger loser in all of this is your former friend, not you...Just keep soldiering on and don't let it get you down.
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#6
by
Jungle Juice
on 03 Jan, 2014 13:10
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Don't feel bad Smoothy,I grew up with a huge head and looking like my hair was running from my forehead all my life, can you tell?I've been the brunt of every head joke you can think of.Sad thing is I added insult to injury by growing dreadlocks and looking like a ghetto predator from outer space
So at the end of the day like my pops(father)would say," What you eat don't make me ($#&!) crap", you gotta do you man.Love life to the fullest with every hairless fiber of your being.
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#7
by
Thebaldnation
on 02 Feb, 2014 16:30
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Hey smoothy maybe he's just jealous of your nice smooth head buddy, did you tell him that god only made a few perfect heads the rest he gave hair too, people will make negative comments about your bald head, but that's because there are people that's miserable in life and want you to be miserable also, you know what they say, misery loves company! You can either fall for it or rise above it with confidence, I prefer the rising part my self, don't worry about that guy he's a tool anyway, best of luck to you, ya look great!
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#8
by
Smoothy
on 03 Oct, 2015 21:27
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Thanks everyone for the kind words and support. A year and a half late in response, but it's one, nonetheless.
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#9
by
DoberDaddy
on 04 Oct, 2015 14:23
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I agree with the other folks, your former friend is an ass.
I will say though, that some of us do indeed "go sly" instead of "going MPB", although I feel that at some point in ones life you need to accept it.
I, personally, went SLY before I started going MPB (noticeably). I would stay smooth for years at a time, only growing out any head hair on rare occasions.
It was only going through a recent personal tragedy, did I stop shaving my head, and then notice that all of my hair (most) was gone, and I was a Norwood 6.
People did react, most people were just inquisitive, most had never seen me with any hair on my head at all. A couple were nasty (some folks are just assholes). The seriousness of the tragedy totally put my "baldness" into perspective.
I was Sly By Choice, now, not much of a choice. In the swing of things, it really has NO impact on my life, other than I did eventually shave off the "skullet", and prefer to be completely smooth or just some stubble.
So now, I embrace my baldness by being sly, and also embrace the fact that I have MPB, and that it is OK.
Best,
Steve
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#10
by
Quiet_Dan
on 05 Oct, 2015 04:48
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I have had questions about why I grow my beard, and I'm happy to say that I can't grow it on top anymore, but I'm at peace with my lot in life and happily bald. Though I certainly can understand how remarks and actions do hurt