I don't buy any of this

[Crowbar]

There are plenty of women 5'5" and shorter out there so that part is sorted. If you focus on the ones taller than you that's what you will notice the most. I see 5'5" and shorter girls every day don't you?

Also people who are so insecure that they resort to putting others down in a vain attempt to feel better about themselves, are not worth taking seriously, they really aren't

That said I understand where you are coming from. I haven't got it all worked out like some kind of Zen Master! but one thing I have realised is that if I focus on my insecurities and feel sorry for myself, or have self pity, it won't get me anywhere or make me feel any good at all. It never has.
So I am scaling that pointless stuff down, putting it in its little place and scaling up big time the good stuff that people have mentioned here. Give it a go, it helps greatly. Begin to work on accepting yourself instead of battling with yourself

[DC]

Hmm...interesting.

You're right, my friend: no website can help you.  And in the end, no one can help you.  You have to help yourself.  You have to have that self-confidence; no woman, good physique, or hair/no hair can do it for you.  To gain your self-confidence from others is a losing battle, in which you'll be the loser.  That's how you don't want to live-take it from personal experience.

Many of us here found that self-confidence comes from within.  We shave our heads because we want to and enjoy the feeling of being bald.  That being said, if you "don't buy any of this", that's your choice.  However, I've seen guys try to give you some good advice. 

I wish you well, that's all I can say.

[mahaw90]

Op is a prat

[Plano]

Come on, OP, Life can't be THAT bad can it?


Let's see a pic of you! I'm short (although ridiculously good looking), and I am LOVING being sly. See, I'm not ridiculously good looking, but I can say that because I have the self confidence about myself! I'm an average looking guy, not THAT tall, and bald.

Life could be worse, my friend.

[Wigout]

Could be posting a dead topic here, doesn't look the OP has been on since July, but if anyone else stumbles across this with similar feelings, then here is some fact. People create their own self-fulfilling prophecies. That is the nature of Karma. If you say "I am a loser and people treat me like dogshit", that will be your life. The secret to success is that simple. Change your attitude and change your life. If you need the message in more detail, I suggest you search 'The Secret' on Netflix or YouTube.

[TheSlyBear]

Well said, Wigout.

The self-fulfilling prophecy is the worst type of self-sabotage. And all too prevalent.

Not to get too geeky, but a line from the Terminator series: "There is no fate but that we make."

[g_bald]

I have the worst self-confidence, I know. But....

When it comes to things worth having I find it. Whether a job interview, a family function, a business meeting or putting a razor to my scalp.

I learned a long time ago that "I'm not good enough" and "I am as ugly as a ______" etc. destroy the self-confidence. Cruel people said things like that to me and I came to believe it. Now I say to myself, I am important and I am needed and the people who exhibited that cruelty are gone from my life.

[ScribeGuy]

Hey, man, in the end confidence counts for everything. If you don't have that, people will notice . . .

[Maltz]

I suppose OP is long gone, but just in case, or if someone else comes along...

Soniktts is absolutely right - we absolutely do base our opinion of ourselves heavily on what other people think of us.  But where he goes tragically wrong is in thinking that other people's opinion of us is something that happens outside of ourselves.  On the contrary, it's almost entirely based on our opinion of ourselves in the first place.

If you have any doubt about the fact that confidence first flows OUT from you, then just look at the course of this thread.  A person with low self esteem posts, people try to lift his spirits, he insists that he isn't worth their (or anyone's) trouble and guess what... some of them start to agree.  That, of course, only reinforces his initial belief, but who started that cycle?  Even when people tried to get the cycle spinning in a positive direction, Soniktts actively fought to keep it spinning in the negative.

Positivity works the same way.  If you meet someone new, and they're confident and happy, then you're probably going to like them, or at least not dislike them.  They're going to pick up on your positive impression of them, and that feedback loop works the same way, reinforcing their positive opinion of themselves.  Same mechanism, but this time, it's positive instead of negative.

I actually used to know a guy with a very similar negative attitude and many of the same physical traits that Soniktts dislikes about himself.  I hated to be around him because while I felt bad for him (he had few, if any, real friends) I didn't feel nearly as bad for him as he felt about himself.  Any attempt at cheer was met with resistance, and he drove everyone away, which only made him feel worse, I'm sure.  I'm pleased to say, though, that he realized he needed a change.  He moved halfway across the country and made a fresh start, completely from scratch - new friends, new job, new locale, the works.  He broke the negative cycle and it turned everything around.  Now he's married, has friends and a good steady job, and is quite good company, the couple of times I've seen him since.

So there's hope.  But it all rests with you.  YOU have to break the cycle.  No one can do it for you, and it may take some time, and will certainly take some effort to change your inner monologue.  But once you do, I think you'll find you're not nearly as alone in the world as you imagine.