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I don't buy any of this by Soniktts on 16 May, 2013 17:42
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I'm sorry, but I stumbled upon a video on Youtube which led me here and I have to say this.
I don't buy this positive attitude that, no one is going to notice, what the guy was preaching. I don't want to be crass or sound just overly negative but in my opinion this isn't true.
I am in a very bad place because of my hair loss. I am twenty-two years old, British and have spent the last eighteen months living abroad because of my degree which should have been the best time of my life, but because I lost my hair, I have spent it largely indoors, become a recluse and a very bitter and unhappy person.
Everything has piled on top of each other. You hear it a lot about people in bad situations who often say that their life is terrible, and I'm not going to preach about how terrible mine is. I am fully aware that there are people who would give everything to be where I am today because my soul is crushed, and no amount of famine and poverty will make me feel better (I realise how bad this sounds, believe me). I'm short (5"5), unattractive and yes, balding. I have had the michael taken out of me for years for being short, unattractive and bald. If there is a God, he's a mean kid with a magnifying glass and myself and many others are the ants. I've had people come up to me at parties and in clubs and question why I came. This isn't just a select few. This is spanning over four different countries.
I'm sorry, and if you find peace in 'no one is going to notice/think anything of it' then fair play to you and I wish you the best of luck but I think it's rubbish.
Sorry I had to rant, it was playing on my mind. Most likely this will be closed, I'll be banned or whatever but I just feel better in expressing my opinion.
Being bald matters as much as it matters being overweight. People notice and will ridicule. -
#1 by Slyest on 16 May, 2013 18:49
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Welcome to the forum, I hope you don't get banned cos that would be a shame but if I am honest your attitude stinks.
Yep, harsh words there but hear me out because it's not meant to be as rude as it sounds.
I have had points in my life where I have had so much self loathing, been bullied and basically just wanted it all to end and a lot of that issue came from me, as well as the nasty bullying scumbags.
So you're overweight, rather than shut yourself off. Join a gym. You'll find mostly being in a gym is a solitary environment where you don't have to talk to others. When you start to get results you will feel more confident and that will help your attractiveness. Remember we're our own worst critic too. So you might not be as hot and ripped as Chris Daughty but who is! But fitness is good for the mind as well as the body.
Being sly is different to bald. I used to get called Captain Forehead by my mates because my hair was so far back since taking off my hair. My DECISION not loss, no one has said anything. It's no longer going of it's own accord, it's because I don't want it there and that's a powerful thing and that's the message sly bald guys tries to get across.
These are some big steps, they can't be achieved overnight and you have a luxuary I didn't when I was your age. The internet, cos believe me when I was shut away in my room there was no net to vent over.
Don't think about what you can't offer and how you might be banned, thing of what you can offer and how guys, and the occasional girl, here can help you on that journey.
I am not a believer in god, I don't believe in life after death so I think this is our one shot and that it's a miracle of nature we're here, so don't waste a moment of that one shot. Live it.
All the best. -
#2 by Soniktts on 16 May, 2013 18:57
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I didn't say I was overweight. I'm a bodybuilder (natural, no drugs, not that it'd matter health wise if I did).
Kudos on that attitude. Chances are in the future I'll feel better, true. I agree with your post.
My point was made about the video about it 'not mattering' and people won't notice. Horse rubbish. Sorry to be so blunt. -
#3 by Hingatao on 16 May, 2013 22:28
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Sorry to be blunt myself but personal experience has shown me that 90% or more people DON'T notice. What they WILL notice is your self-loathing, self-pity and bad attitude.
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#4 by chgobuzzbald on 16 May, 2013 22:55
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Just refuse to be limited by limiting thoughts and victim based thinking.
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#5 by Tyler on 17 May, 2013 01:10
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I'm the guy on the video and I have spent my life proving that what i said in the video is correct. I wouldn't have said it otherwise.
Have you read the posts here? Hundreds of guys have said the same thing. I get hundreds of emails a year thanking me for helping that person reach the same conclusion.
Instead of dismissing me so quickly, how about you seek what we know and let us help you?
Have you shaved your head? If so, how long did you keep it?
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#6 by Lynchy on 17 May, 2013 05:11
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Welcome Mate,
Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. In all honesty people are so self centered they only think about themselves,
Eg, I had a beard that was probably 6 inches long and I shaved it off, only 2 people in my office commented that day.
I hope you can find peace, whatever that may be for you,
Cheers -
#7 by Soniktts on 17 May, 2013 06:38
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I'm the guy on the video and I have spent my life proving that what i said in the video is correct. I wouldn't have said it otherwise.
Have you read the posts here? Hundreds of guys have said the same thing. I get hundreds of emails a year thanking me for helping that person reach the same conclusion.
Instead of dismissing me so quickly, how about you seek what we know and let us help you?
Have you shaved your head? If so, how long did you keep it?
I shave my head, but not wet-shave.
I don't believe you can help me. It's good you try and have helped people reach peace. I'm not looking for advice, sorry.
I think it's slightly hypocritical what you're saying. Having read a lot of this forum, there is a large emphasis on ignoring what people think and say, but you say several times in the video that people don't care/won't care that you're bald. That isn't true. That's my point. I have it worse than others having the whole package, short, unattractive and poor hair genetics but in my experience (which isn't limited to a small amount of people), they're very quick to point out the fact I have a receding hair line than anything else. -
#8 by Sir Harry on 17 May, 2013 06:49
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This may sound harsh and I may sound blunt here.....I'm sorry you feel the way that you do sir, and I wish you the best in finding whatever happiness you seek.....but Tyler and the others have done a wonderful job with this forum and an occasional "troll" will not change that opinion. If you want help dealing with your hairloss, we're here, but we don't do pity parties and entertain/feed trolls. Have a good day sir.
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#9 by Soniktts on 17 May, 2013 06:51
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This may sound harsh and I may sound blunt here.....I'm sorry you feel the way that you do sir, and I wish you the best in finding whatever happiness you seek.....but Tyler and the others have done a wonderful job with this forum and an occasional "troll" will not change that opinion. If you want help dealing with your hairloss, we're here, but we don't do pity parties and entertain/feed trolls. Have a good day sir.
I'm not trolling, thank you. And have congratulated you on the forum and have complimented you on the progress, just stating that I believe the video to be inaccurate. -
#10 by jedge01 on 17 May, 2013 06:55
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I initially read this last night, and took the evening to think about it. I agree with most here, pity party, self loathing, most don't notice, etc. and quite frankly, even if they did, and commented me about them, I'd tell them "that's nice, now mind your own business". It doesn't matter what they think, just what you think. If you don't like it, don't do it.
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#11 by Sir Harry on 17 May, 2013 07:02
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This may sound harsh and I may sound blunt here.....I'm sorry you feel the way that you do sir, and I wish you the best in finding whatever happiness you seek.....but Tyler and the others have done a wonderful job with this forum and an occasional "troll" will not change that opinion. If you want help dealing with your hairloss, we're here, but we don't do pity parties and entertain/feed trolls. Have a good day sir.
I'm not trolling, thank you. And have congratulated you on the forum and have complimented you on the progress, just stating that I believe the video to be inaccurate.
If that is your opinion sir, I respect that. You are in the minority and you have that right. Even if the video is not what you think it should be, why don't you check out some of the other threads and see if there is/are (a) topic(s) that can catch your interest and maybe help. Good luck and take care. -
#12 by Laser Man on 17 May, 2013 07:47
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I'll be even more blunt: if the worst things you have to deal with in life are being short and balding, you are extremely lucky and should be thankful for that.
If you shave your head, will people notice? Yes, some will. Will some people make rude comments? Yes, some will. Should that ruin your life? No, it should not. That's Tyler's point and the the point that most of us on the forum will make.
From the sound of it, you are not comfortable in your own skin. That's something you have to deal with. We can encourage you to take steps, but it's up to you to decide what you want to do.
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#13 by Bilko1 on 17 May, 2013 09:45
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Hi,
I agree with all the guys here.
I do empathise with your predicament, somewhat. However, the only person that can do anything about it is you. Firstly, Man-up & take life by the horns so-to-speak. Balding & being Sly are 2 different things. Balding is nature's choice...Being Sly is your decision to become a cool, bald guy by your own choice ---- I'm talking about taking the bold step & deciding that you are going to shave your head slick bald for life. The second thing I would say is change your attitude & thought processes about yourself. Be positive even if things seem negative. This definitely does work; I can personally testify to that FACT.
Keep smiling, friend.
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#14 by Slyest on 17 May, 2013 11:48
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"You have It worse than others" jeez man as far as I can tell from you're not Brad Pitt lookswise and are going bald. There's people with real health issues and terminal diseases out there. Let's reality check.
You need more of a glass half full attitude