At the crossroads btwn Hair Club and Life

[isleepinthebuff]

This reminds me of something that happened in a job about 12 years ago, we had a weekend team member who had a perfectly good head of hair, then he secured a full time contract and turned up on his first day totally bald. His hairline was apparent and it was obvious he only had hair round the sides and back. It was so obvious he had being wearing a wig. There were some whispered comments and some emails but it last about ten mins more to do with people saying "I knew" or "why didn;t I guess" and then everyone went back to their own lives.

At the end of the day what can people say "Did you wear a hairpiece", "yes I  did but I wanted to support my wife through her treatment and have decided to stop wearing it". I would imagine that'll get you respect and stop the conversations going any further.

If people ask why you wore it, be honest but say now you want to stop.

Honesty is the best policy, within a day it'll be old news!

[Ming the Merciless]

Ming is not infallible, but He often says to Himself, "Hmm.  That does not look entirely natural."  This in regard to what's seen on the top of some passing one's head.  Well, it might be real hair, but if real hair looks fake, it's no better than a rug.  And if it is a rug... well, Ming's Imperial Eye scores again.

Point?  Just go ahead and do it.  Ming's mantra is, "Never explain, never apologize."

There is no doubt about what you are doing if you shave the dome.  There is no commercial "No Hair Club for Men."  You can establish your own for minimal expense and maximum effect.  And be satisfied every minute.

Life is more than what is above your eyebrows.  Or what is not.

[geeman]

welcome crossroads...I hope everything turns out good for your wife, cancer has been in my life over the last couple of years, but thankfully all is well...and I wish the same for you both....
Re the hair...or lack of...I'm new to the sly look....used products to cover up my thinning locks, it ruled my life in some way, you will hear this a lot...but once I shaved...just 10 days ago....it was like a huge weight lifted off me....I work in an office environment, as well as out on the road...the first day back at work I was nervous....but no one said anything bad...the most I got was "oh, you've shaved your head, looks good" followed by a few head rubs from the girls! my colleague who is a similar age, has the beginnings of mpb, his hair has been thinning for a while...he asked me today, how I was getting on with the shaving...and wondered if he should shave his, he said it looks good on me....no one has reacted badly...yet I expected them too! so i'll say it again...I WISH I HAD DONE IT YEARS AGO! If you are worried about the colour difference, use a bronzer to give your newly shaved bonce a nice sun kissed look....
I promise you, the only regret is the one I typed in bold letters a couple of lines up....I actually look forward to shaving every morning! smooth feels great...do it when your wife does hers..do each others..its valentines day soon!...but just do it, and enjoy the more confident you....ladies love the full bald look....my girlfriend loved it!

[CrossRoads]

First-- thank you for all the good wishes for my wife.  I deeply appreciate it.  The road is long and we are just at the start but we have good reasons to be hopeful and very happy to have a loving and supportive community of friends around us at home.

Next -- thanks for all your quick responses, thoughts and suggestions on how to handle this, as well as good sense to tell me don't sweat it so much at the office.  It will be a bit of a bump initially but smooth sailing after that.  I like the suggestion of simply "it was time for a change..."  That's a terrific way to put it to rest.  I so look forward to the feeling of -- "I wish I did this years ago..."

Lastly - i will go out and buy some witch hazel, St Ives scrub to clean up the irritation, and some good self-tanning lotion or maybe a few sessions at a tanning salon just to quickly help even out the color.  I use Fusion Proglide already and lab series shaving cream.  Any other recommendations?

Many thanks again.  Really appreciate it.

[Frontier Guy]

You've got (or listed) all the tools.

Just do it.

Don't think it over, or debate it, or ponder, or question, or straddle the decision.

Get on with the shaving, get on with your life.

You'll be back here in a week writing, "This was no big deal."

[nuts]

Post a pic on Friday after the event.

In Australia many top executives of public companies have embraced the smooth dome and it doesn't appear to have affected their career progression.  In fact many look so much smarter than those with obvious rugs (all are) or mousy haircuts.  Many on this board also like some facial hair as a counterpoint to the smooth dome - personally I am biased that way.

Good luck and hope your wife continues to improve.

[Slyfive]

Welcome Crossroads. As Mike said, you now have an excellent reason to, I'm sure it will mean the world to your wife, and the confidence it brings can do nothing but earn respect from those you are worried may ridicule you. You are a strong man for taking the steps to be yourself, but it will be one of the best choices you ever made.

[Gary~]

Ming is not infallible, but He often says to Himself, "Hmm.  That does not look entirely natural."  This in regard to what's seen on the top of some passing one's head.  Well, it might be real hair, but if real hair looks fake, it's no better than a rug.  And if it is a rug... well, Ming's Imperial Eye scores again.

Point?  Just go ahead and do it.  Ming's mantra is, "Never explain, never apologize."

There is no doubt about what you are doing if you shave the dome.  There is no commercial "No Hair Club for Men."  You can establish your own for minimal expense and maximum effect.  And be satisfied every minute.

Life is more than what is above your eyebrows.  Or what is not.

+1 to that.

[Hingatao]

Welcome to the club, crossroads. I hope your wife gets better.

[schro]

Hey Crossroads, good luck to you and your wife.

Here's a link to a cost analysis I did a couple of years ago about going sly vs. having hair.

http://www2.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php?topic=4670.0

I make reference to the Bosley Group. I know your post mainly discusses the reactions of others, but the cost is also a factor (plus the confidence of going sly).

All the best!
Schro

[TheSlyBear]

One thing to add to the already supplied excellent advice: skip the tanning salon. Y'all already have enough to deal with without worrying about skin cancer.

Looking forward to hearing you say "Why didn't I do this sooner!?"

[geeman]

re: shaving supplies...best one I've discovered from a tip on here, is ice, rub a cube all over your freshly shaved bonce, and it drastically reduces razor rash, in fact i have yet to have any, and i'm shaving every day

[wpruitt]

Best of luck to your wife

[guido57]

Thoughts and prayers to your wife, welcome aboard!

[CrossRoads]

Just wanted get back to everyone on how things went.  It's been three weeks come tomorrow that I shaved my head. Been doing it every day since but for once or twice on the weekends.  Gotta admit it was kinda liberating, and I got my system down to 15 mins shaving head and face.  Need to experiment shaving in the shower w/o a mirror to save even more time w/o gashing open my head. 

BTW - what do you use for "shampoo"?  Straight soap or something else?  I used St Ives from time to time as recommended but otherwise mostly using off-the-shelf shampoo.  Also, I'm not personally a fan of the shiny dome look so I'm trying different products to reduce the reflection.  So any recommendations on that are appreciated as well.

On the work front, it's gone pretty okay.  There were some definite looks, numerous eyebrows raised, some smirks, and lots of traffic past my office glancing in.  So i simply walked around the floor to give folks a better look.  Friends approached me directly and made the connection of why i did this now given my the situation w/ my wife.  I didn't need to say anything.  They were all very cool and supportive -- it was touching actually.  I suspect that with my shadow hairline some people had some chatter about it as well, but everyone was considerate and polite.  Got some ribbing from the guys calling me Dr. Evil and/or Howie Mandel.  Others said i looked sharp and even "hipster" since I have a soul patch, tend to wear more fashionable threads, and mod glasses most times.

Personally, I'm still getting used to the look and still sort of startles me when I walk past reflective glass.  But it's growing on me.

Just like to thank everyone again for their support and encouragement to do this.  It was great feedback and I really appreciate it!