I just....I just can't do it, I just can't find the confidence to do it at 23yo.

[drq]

You guys are the only people I can spill my guts to right now, because I have no one else to ask for help.

First off, I'm in a bad time in my life...no relationships, no friendships, no lots of things and despite wanting to change my life and not feel sorry for myself, this balding thing doesn't help. Some of you guys look awesome with a shaved head, I don't. If I said I did, I'd be deluding myself, I can't keep pretending.

The worst part of this is I'm 23 and EVERYONE my age has hair, but not me, I'm like a Norwood IV and IT SUCKS, I hate it so much, with everything else that is wrong with my life I feel like this is just another big "f**k you!" to me.

I don't know if I'm asking for help, or venting. I suppose what I'm looking for is the confidence to shave my head and just not give a f**k what people think. It's SO much easier said than done, which is why I can't "just do it."

I've been contemplating the hair piece route (because surgery is just out of the question right now), but I just dont want a rug on my head all the time, and God forbid it ever falling off, my life would be over.

How do you young guys do it, especially the ones with the not-so-nicely-shaped heads? How did you guys do it??? With all the other sh*t I'm trying to fix in my life, I don't need this right now, but I have to deal with it...I cant just run from it, and am completely lost right now. Maybe the only thing I can do is live with a hair piece and god knows the can of worms that might open for me

[Frontier Guy]

Welcome drq, sorry things are in the pits for you at the moment.

Based solely on your post, my only suggestion would be to shave it off entirely.

Again, based solely on your post,
* your balding is a major daily issue
* you are "in between" relationships and friendships at the moment, so there are fewer significant people to comment on a major change in appearance
* surgery is out (thankfully)
* rug is probably out (thankfully - because how much more stress would there be of it being dislodged unexpectedly)

In my time here at SBG I've not yet seen a "not-so-nicely-shaped-head" (your words) so I don't think you've got one.

There are plenty of guys in their early 20s who have shaved their heads and been amazed how much better it is when you don't have to worry about all the hair-related issues.

That's my recommendation. Just do it and get on with life and the other issues you have to resolve.

[Switchy]

Welcome drq, sorry things are in the pits for you at the moment.

Based solely on your post, my only suggestion would be to shave it off entirely.

Again, based solely on your post,
* your balding is a major daily issue
* you are "in between" relationships and friendships at the moment, so there are fewer significant people to comment on a major change in appearance
* surgery is out (thankfully)
* rug is probably out (thankfully - because how much more stress would there be of it being dislodged unexpectedly)

In my time here at SBG I've not yet seen a "not-so-nicely-shaped-head" (your words) so I don't you've got one.

There are plenty of guys in their early 20s who have shaved their heads and been amazed how much better it is when you don't have to worry about all the hair-related issues.

That's my recommendation. Just do it and get on with life and the other issues you have to resolve.

  I would agree !

[mrzed]

Here in North Carolina, both young and old shave their heads. Really common.  Go to the mall, there are shaved heads all over the place. 

There are other young men with shaved heads.  Don't like the hair you had? Shave it off.  Review the profile pictures here on sbg.  Not a bad looking one in the bunch.

We all shave our heads. Join us.  Many claim to have a bad head shape, but when the hair comes off and we all see the sly dome, it looks great.

Welcome to sbg. Join us in shaving your head, too.

[Lynchy]

Welcome mate,

As I be said before nearly everyone worries about the head shape before the initial shave, but very few are actually bothered after the fact. Most people love the look once they are bald.

 I'm also 23 and I love the look. The key is confidence, if you feel like your awesome no one will question the look. However if you walk around worrying about your last strands of hair people will notice.

IMHO you should consider shaving it, just to see if you like it, if not it will always grow back.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

[bbcguytom]

Everyone can't have a 'nicely shaped head', we just shave our head & deal w/what we are given. I think part of the problem is age-related, in my 20's I was more unsure of myself, too. You should just try shaving it & you will see how many accept you for who you are, in turn you will accept yourself more.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome! Maybe if you tried a shorter haircut, you could give yourself a time to adjust. But the big thing is to start realizing that you ARE somebody. If you treat yourself badly, how do you expect others to treat you any better? I bet if you were to post a picture, you probably are a decent looking guy. Good luck and hang in there!

[alpha]

It seems like there is a lot of attention from your "myself" that goes towards your balding hair. That isn't good for your ego. Once you shave your head, you know it's the best look you'll ever go with and it's much easier to go with it (not mentioning it looks awesome!). And you'll be proud of yourself that you've done it. I know it is a very tough decision to shave your head, I've considered it for a very long time. I asked people around, nobody recommended that for me. I thought I had a totally screwed head-shape. Or that I had a tiny neck. But I shaved my head just two weeks ago and I love it! My assumptions proved wrong (my head is still a little odd-shaped indeed, but it is balanced by the awesomeness of the slyness). I get more attention from girls, people are a little shocked but like it quite much! Oh, and I am 22 and don't know anyone of my age being bald. If you grow some facial hair, even a little bit of a goatee, it will visually draw the attention from your head to your face. That helps if you're afraid of your headshape.

I can't remember if I've ever seen someone who looked terrible being sly!

[OzSly]

G'Day drq

Welcome to the forum mate, sorry to hear things aren't going your way.

Read the wise words of FrontierGuy, good advice there 

[MarkMusicNYC]

DRQ, I think all of us sympathize with you--not just because most of us have been in the same position that you're currently in, but because you're having to deal with it at such a young age. That sucks out loud.

But here's the truth: you're not doing yourself any favors holding onto your hair. #1, it sounds as though the hair loss is impeding your ability to live your life. #2, if you're a Norwood IV, you're actually calling more attention to your hair loss by keeping what you have. I don't blame you--It's a very common first reaction that both myself and others have had. But you need to know that your hair loss (whether it's recession at the temples, thinning at the crown or both) has progressed to the point that any hair you have just accentuates the hair loss.

I don't know how long your hair is, but if going sly really freaks you out at this point, then I'd suggest starting with a short buzzcut on top with the sides and back shorter than the top or even taken to the skin. That's a classic male haircut that lots of guys have, even those that are not losing their hair.  Once you get used to that, get progressively shorter versions of the same cut. Each time you go shorter, you'll be minimizing that "balding look" a little more. Eventually it'll be so short that finally shaving the rest off won't be a big deal.  

I think you'll be a much happier guy when you stop letting hair loss affect your life. The only real way to do that is to get rid of it.

[Tyler]

DRQ, I shaved my head when I was 25, yet I WISH I would have done it in college.  The amount of positive attention that I got after shaving was amazing. 

One question I have is, "Why do you want to be like everyone else?"  It's people that stand out and are confident that get what they want, like meeting someone special. 

My advice, shave your head and keep it shaved for 30 days (30 Day Rule) and then decide what you want to do.  If it's not for you, go with the rug on your head.

[Razor X]

DRQ, I shaved my head when I was 25, yet I WISH I would have done it in college.  The amount of positive attention that I got after shaving was amazing. 

One question I have is, "Why do you want to be like everyone else?"  It's people that stand out and are confident that get what they want, like meeting someone special. 

My advice, shave your head and keep it shaved for 30 days (30 Day Rule) and then decide what you want to do.  If it's not for you, go with the rug on your head.

I wish I'd shaved mine in college, too. It's one of the few times in life one is free to experiment with one's appearance with no real consequences.
 

[Andrei]

Welcome!

To shave your head you only need: hot water, shaving gel, a decent razor, aftershave and maybe a mirror, oh and a very short buzz to make things easier. 
You seem to want and need a change so it's up to you to make it happen.

How can you know you don't look good with a shaved head if you never did it?

[alpha]

Someone said: "When I started losing my hair in my twenties, I thought, ‘Do I want to spend the next twenty years worrying about losing my hair or just lose it in a day and spend the rest of my time not worrying about it’?"

[Gary~]

Frontier Guy is obviously a wise man and I would listen to what he says -- I've noticed that he usually says it much more clearly than others.

You say 'Some of you guys look awesome with a shaved head, I don't. If I said I did, I'd be deluding myself, I can't keep pretending.' Now, thinking logically without all the emotion, to say that you would be deluding yourself if you have never had a shaved head is just not true. You don't know how awesome you would look [as Andrei above says]. As many of our other brothers have said here once the hair is gone everyone, given usually a very little time, realises that the new look is a great improvement on the old.

There are numerous advantages and few disadvantages. You will be free of the 'tyranny of hair' [thanks to the opinionated walrus]. As to being concerned as to what others are thinking about you -- streuth, it's impossible to control our own thoughts let alone other people's thoughts. That would be a passport to long-term frustration and unhappiness -- wouldn't it?

As to everyone your age having a full head of hair -- that may be so in your part of the world -- I don't know where you are. But in this, admittedly somewhat isolated, part of the world there are plenty of blokes in their 20's that are slick, many of them with young families. Every time I go to town I see a few and we now nod to each other in silent acknowledgement of our wise choice of hairstyle [at least I like to think that that is what they are thinking but I really don't care what they think as long as they are friendly and they are].

Everyone here wishes you well and is ready, willing and able to offer you all the support that you need.