Hey everyone!This is my first post her at SLY Bald Guys but I've actually been reading the posts for some time, now I'm ready to tell my story. It's a long one so bare with me and hopefully you wont fall asleep Last week I finally took a razor to my head and got rid of 10 years of anxiety in the process... Well almost.Let me start at the beginning. My dad (who happens to be a barber) used to cut my hair and was the first person that brought my attention to my thinning hair and the fact that I was losing it. I didn't really take much notice I was only 24 and thought it wouldn't happen to me. My father had lost his hair and said you should do something about it while you still can. So then I thought yeah maybe I should I sure as hell don't wanna lose my hair! So I went to one of the big companies here in Australia and began to take all the usual FDA approved meds thankfully without any huge side effects. Things were travelling well and my hair had become really thick again so for a couple of years (apart from the hassle of putting solution in my hair day and night and taking medication which I hated) I didn't really think much about my hair. But then a couple of years later the meds started to lose their effectiveness and my hair began to thin again. Then one day at work I was having a conversation with a co-worker and he blurts out "Oh yeah like your bald spot!" And I remember those words really stung, so much so that I went home and began my obsession with checking my hair out in the mirror every moment from every angle I could. I became paranoid about going out in public and I was determined to keep on the meds no matter what. I just couldn't lose my hair!! But it gradually got thinner over the next several years and at some point I discovered concealers which I thought were a God send but now I know very well that they were the complete opposite in the long run.So I continued to put concealers in my hair but it became harder and harder to hide my hairloss and the thought of going out in public bald was terrifying to me so I just had to keep all these rituals up because if anyone ever found out I was losing my hair I would have no hope in finding a partner and or ever being liked by anyone. I was convinced I would be hideous without hair!Over the last few years trying to hide it became more and more difficult the more hair I lost and it was a constant stress and anxiety if people would notice I had concealer in my hair. I was paranoid of people touching my hair. Always stressed under bright lights, worried about rain & wind. It became a nightmare but I saw no other option, I just couldn't be bald, bald in my head = ugly! Intimacy was no fun either as I would never let them go near my hair, and was always worried about getting black on the sheets from my hair I also became super paranoid about taking proscar and what it could be doing to me on the inside especially since I'd been taking it for 10 years it was all getting too much. But I still could not bring myself to shave it off. I would look at other sly guys in the streets and admire them for their courage but at the same time thinking there's no way I'll ever do that! I contemplated a hair translplant and was really close to doing it but the results I thought were not great AND I'd still have to keep taking meds which I desperately wanted to stop.This was taking a huge toll on me and I began to seriously think about how much it was impeding on my life. My obsession with my hair was out of control and I began to wear a hat almost everywhere. So no one really knew I was going bald except my immediate family. I then found this site and was reading the posts thinking that everyone here was brave but I would never be able to do it myself. Then the more I read the more I thought maybe I can do it too! Maybe it's possible and so I decided the first step would be to get some professional help as I clearly had some body image concerns and I wasn't going to be able to do it on my own. So I set up an appointment and even when I began talking to my therapist in the first session I was thinking there is no way in hell I'm taking my hat off or shaving my head EVER!! But then I began to do some work on the thinking behind my obsession with covering my hairloss and I began to see some hope, if only a little! Then an opportunity to take a trip to L.A. came up and I really wanted to go but thought about all the hassle of trying to hide my hair loss etc.. and I thought no I'm not ready but then I said f@ck it!! I'm gonna go and so that became the goal to shave it off before the trip!So several weeks before the trip I decided to cut my hair to a number 1, I was almost in tears I thought I looked shocking and was really down. I contined to wear a hat everywhere and stopped going out to clubs as I could no longer hide it with concealers this short. Then two weeks before the trip I decided to clipper it with no guard and I actually didn't hate it! I was like OK it's not that bad. I went on the trip and enjoyed my new found freedom. Sure I wore a hat a fair bit of the time but it was so nice not to have to worry about trying to hide my hair loss with concealers and putting minoxidil in my hair. My friend barely said a thing. Yet I was anticipating a big reaction.Once I got back home, I began to think about taking my cap off at work and in my local area. I work in retail so I have lots of regular customers so I was really nervous about their reactions especially as I am super sensitive to negative comments.But I was beginning to feel much more freer and ready to embrace this. So I did it. And sure enough the comments came both positive and negative. It was a huge change since it wasn't like they knew I was going bald since I always hid it so I expected the shocked looks! At first the negative comments really stung but I was determined not to let them stop me. I had turned over a new leaf and I wasn't gonna go back to that nightmare of hiding my hairloss. I began to feel much more happier and peoples comments didn't phase me nearly as much as they did initially, I couldn't believe I was at this point as I never thought I'd get here.Then last week before going to see Coldplay I decided I'd take a razor to my scalp and start shaving it (not just using the clippers) and immediately I really liked it! Obviously it wasn't a huge transition so that eased any tension but it just felt really good to be putting my hair loss nightmare behind me. I was finally feeling liberated of my hair worries for the first time in 10 years! But then a few days ago my brother's loud mouth friend who I had yet to see saw me and goes "Oh my God what have you done??? You look like Dr Evil!!" well needless to say I suddenly felt all the positives disappear and all those negative voices came back BUT at the same time I thought F@ck it! I'm not gonna let a few insensitive comments derail me. I got a few more negative comments at work the following day which stung more than they probably should of but again I wasn't gonna put a hat back on or go back to hiding with concealers NO WAY!! The funny thing is that the people that often make those insensitive comments are the butt ugly ones who have no right to comment!! If I was to start on their appearance they would no doubt leave the room in tears but I'm just not that kind of guy Hopefully those on the fence will take heart because if I can do it then I know you can too. It's still a bit of a struggle on some days but there is no way I'm going back to that hell of before. And I'm getting more and more comfortable everyday. This forum is amazing and so many great people and encouraging people I'm incredibly thankful that I found it!At the end of it all it's just hair and it's crazy to think I put so much emphasis on it for so many years For those of you on the fence just do it! There is no other option that is more freeing than this, if your losing your hair it really is the best thing to do. It might be tough in the beginning especially if you suffer from body image issues and peoples comments might hurt but in the long run you'll be much happier than going down the "trying to save your hair/concealers path" trust me!Thanks for reading my story guys and gals
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Topic: New here, my sly story (Read 4901 times)
