My Girl Thinks It's "Ugly"

[Puddin]

Hey guys, new to this site, found it the other day when i was considering shaving my head again. I have actually shaved my head twice before this last time, and really enjoyed it. Most of the people i know say i look awesome with a bald head, bad ass and all that. But there is one slight problem, of all the people who love my head bald, my Fiancee hates it. She actually says, and guys please don't take offense cause she knows not what she says, that the bald look is, "Ugly." Any of you guys have the same problem? If so, how'd you take care of that?

[RC The Uncola]

I had shaved down to 1mm last summer but ex-gf gave me such a hard time.  All my bros liked it.  But i did give in to her and styled it how she wanted me too.  But the reason she is my ex isnt cause of that its because thats how she turned out to be in all aspects of the relationship--- She would take away all individualisitic actions and wouldnt be happy unless she got her way. My hair is going THIN dude im gonna have to shave it sooner or later thats just a fact..her telling me she didint like it wasnt a good sign.  Sorry to ramble...

Bottom line its good to try to make her happy but you still gotta be your own man.

[YOSP]

Puddin, first of all, welcome to the site...if you have any questions about being SLY or anything for that matter you came to the right site. You will see that there are some cool dudes here that will give you an honest answer which is cool because we can relate to your issue(s) someway or another.

Next, about your fiance', how long have you been together?
I am getting married in Sept. and was wearing a toupee for 7yrs, I told my girl about it almost 2yrs ago (been together for 3) after the initial fear of what she would think. After realizing how ridiculous and insecure I was being, I decided to shave it off completely and have been that way for 3 weeks now. I was concerned at first of what she would think, but I had to do it for myself. She had no problem with it at all, and loves it (well thats what she says). She has assured me that at this point in our relationship, hair or no hair, that is no what is in the least important. We are about to start our lives together and me having a "BOLD" head is not even the slightest of things that matter.

As far as your situation, I think you have to ask yourself a few questions...
1)is it going to make you happy?
2)if this is "UGLY" to your fiance', then maybe you have to ask yourself are you getting married to the right person? if she loves you and wants to marry you, she should accept you for who you are.
3)she is being selfish, she should be supporting you, not making you feel worse about something you have no control over, I'd hate to think about something that is really serious in your relationship and how it gets handled

No offense brother, I am not trying to break up you relationship, but you need to hear the truth...maybe she just needs to get used to it?   

[Stu]

Puddin, that's harsh.  Are you going bald, or does it look like it's in your future?  The obvious choice here is if you're losing the hair, shaving is the best option.  If your fiancee thinks you look ugly, I have to wonder where her priorities lie.  It sounds like you have some serious talking to do before the nuptials.  She might be someone like NotBaldYet's ex -- i.e. controlling.  You want your future wife to contribute to your happiness, not take away from it.  Best of luck; this is a tough one.

[Sgt. Pate]

DUMP HER!   

J/K... one of the first lessons I learned in my marriage, now 35 years old, it's give and take... you give and she takes!     NO NO!   

Seriously, as long as it's something you can live with (personally I couldn't but I tried for her) I'd recomend you not shave.  It's a small act of your love for her... really! 

[Tyler]

Did she have a bald boyfriend once that treated her bad?

Here's something you might be able to try.  Tell her that you would like to shave your head for 30 days.  Then at the end of 30 days you both can decide how you like it.

[BALDANDRE]

Ok, does she think that ANY dude with a shaved head is ugly...or does she not like the look on YOU?

Having a totally bald head can make a dude BETTER looking, and that's not being biased...some dudes look good either way...and some just don't look that good (to be truthful I think most dudes look pretty good with it)...

I've said it a million times before...it's a control thing dude...simple...

You have to ask yourself what's more important to YOU...most would say just grow it, but it's more than that...having a completely shaved head isn't just not having a hair on your head...

it's an attitude, a style a way of thinking and to a lot of people, empowering and even a way to "svae" their lives ( I know dramatic, but true)...if she is worth it...don't shave...but someone that loves you should encourage, not hold you back...

just my two cents...

 and especially when there ARE cool girls out there that dig a head that is shaved bald... brother, I would ONLY want a girl that understands the meaning of SLY!! Life is TOO short

[Medic aka Rocko]

I would have to agree about the control issue.  My wife is somewhat of a control freak, I remember she once told me I looked like a convict.  I just let her comments slide, and she either got used to the look or just gave up when she figured out I wasn't going to change.

I say do what makes you happy, its your head.

[MR. CLEAN]

I have seen one of these situations before... My parents, married for OVER 40 some years.  My Father said when he met my mother:

1) that he was 1nce divorced, & was not going to get married again
2) that he had two kids from that Marriage, and was not going to have any more
3) that he was away from the Church & not going back

at the time he smoked and rocked the Mustache... My dad Held his growned ofcourse, He is CLEAN Shaven (has been as long as I can remember), has 40 Some years of Marriage under his belt, Has had an additional 5 Children (of Which I am the Only Sly Bald Guy), recently gave up drinking all together, and has spent many a Sunday in Church.
He has done it all knowing that she has raised his hansome/beautiful children, and is the Best part of his life. My dad is not stupid, he married a stewardess back in the day that they were required to be smokin' Hot... Yes, my dad has never complained if you know what I mean!

The Bottom Line is the question of how much does she mean to you.  Do you truely love her?  What has she chosen to deal/give up/deal with?  Marriage is a Compromise.  Often we give certain things because we know it makes them [significant others] Happy, In doing so we are Happy.  Ask yourself, Would you be happier as a Sly Bald Guy, or would you be happier with her happy with your appearance.

Go for the 30 Days routine also, sometimes it takes a while to grow on'em.  

[Robmeister]

Welcome, Puddin!!  Glad to have ya here.

I sometimes shoot from the hip...so please don't take offense...

....but it sounds like she must keep the absolutely perfect, most popular and end-all of hairstyles herself...as well as a widely revered acumen and sense of refinement and propriety to have been bestowed with such authority to make such a broad and binding pronouncement.

[PigPen]

Honestly, my first reaction was "Get rid of her"

Then my sensitive side kicked in, and I beat the crap out of that wuss. 

No, but really, tell her that you like it and want to keep it that way. Something we suggest to all of our new members contemplating SLY, (I know someone said this already, buuuuut) give it 30 days and see what you BOTH think.

I'm not much of a compromise type of person, and neither is my wife. Amazing we've been married as long as we have.

Give it a shot! It may surprise you both.

[champ007]

Blah blah blah
OK, Thanks for reminding me why I stay single..... 
Is she going to dress you too??    <---- I know, harsh but comical!!
Where's the unconditional love??  As far as a compromise, its your hair... As long as you keep it sly I cannot see what the big deal is. I had alot more to say but I'm just gonna end it here with this 
But I'm glad you found us and welcome to SBG!!

[Razor X]

Hey guys, new to this site, found it the other day when i was considering shaving my head again. I have actually shaved my head twice before this last time, and really enjoyed it. Most of the people i know say i look awesome with a bald head, bad ass and all that. But there is one slight problem, of all the people who love my head bald, my Fiancee hates it. She actually says, and guys please don't take offense cause she knows not what she says, that the bald look is, "Ugly." Any of you guys have the same problem? If so, how'd you take care of that?

Try dictating to her what you think she should do with HER hair and see what her reaction will be.   I'll guarantee you it will go over like a lead balloon.  Women never ask our permission to change their hairstyles, yet they expect to be consulted when we want to change ours.

If she really loves you, she is not going to break up with you over something as trivial as a haircut.   If she does, then it's better to find out now.  In the end, I'll bet that she will have more respect for you if you go ahead and do what you want to do, even if she isn't happy with the choice.    Some women think they like to be the "boss" over this sort of thing, but in reality, a man who allows himself to be too easily pushed around just breeds feelings of contempt.

[BaldRob]

Welcome to SBG Puddin!

Well, I've been bald for so long now that a lot of my friends have never known me with hair and most of the women I have dated have never known me with hair... but...

Before I started shaving this time, I have shave a few times before... the first time, I was married and the (ex) wife actually encouraged me to do it!  I grew it back because it was more hassle back then and the razor technology was no where near it is today!

The second time I shaved, I had a girlfriend and while she didn't dissuade me from shaving, I don't think she really thought I was going to do it... and then when the smiles and flirting came from other women, she got all jealous and pissy about it.  So, I grew it back and about a year later, she was gone...

This time around, I started shaving (somewhere coming up on three years ago) when I wasn't with anyone and I did it for me and me alone...  I haven't even thought about growing my hair back at all this time.

The biggest thing you have to realize is that you do have to do some things for yourself and compromise on other things... if the soon-to-be wife doesn't like it, I would find out what is behind the "ugly" statement.  If it's something that's not too big of a deal, then explain to her about why shaving it is important to you (try the 30 day plan).  If it is a big deal, wait until you're married to her and then do it!   

[champ007]

Welcome to SBG Puddin!

The biggest thing you have to realize is that you do have to do some things for yourself and compromise on other things... if the soon-to-be wife doesn't like it, I would find out what is behind the "ugly" statement.  If it's something that's not too big of a deal, then explain to her about why shaving it is important to you (try the 30 day plan).  If it is a big deal, wait until you're married to her and then do it!  

That was beautiful Man 

just need one more thing...ummm                Yea, thats it!