Just took the plunge after 10 years of living a lie

[timetobeme]

Hmmmm...Good detective work.  Me thinks we've been had!

[chgobuzzbald]

I was started to think this could not possibly be true myself but didnt want to say anything yet. The story just went too far ... the people here are too kind sometimes.

[Razor X]

I was started to think this could not possibly be true myself but didnt want to say anything yet. The story just went too far ... the people here are too kind sometimes.

I was thinking the same thing.  The sort of situation he described has never happened to anyone else here -- ever.  Family members can be problematic sometimes, but the general population just doesn't care enough to make that big an issue over someone's choice of haircut.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Well, at the least, Jack21 should explain himself.  My problem is that both Jack & cursedforlife seem to have a deep seated loathing of baldness and that it is so deep seated and ingrained in their minds that they aren't able to perceive what others really think without unconsciously putting their own baldness issues in the way thereby seeing and hearing only negatives when in objective reality it's not negative.  If SBG's is here to help guys with the issue of mpb, then we need to listen and reach out, not close off an avenue for them to begin to accept themselves for what they are.  It's just my opinion.  The "hair restoration industry" earns billions of dollars taking advantage of guys like Jack and cursed, feeding on their issues with baldness, SBG needs to provide at least a chance for them to see it for what it is, just a genetic variation that can and does look good, or at the very least better, than plugs and rugs, with more safety than drugs. 

[TheSlyBear]

Well, as I've said before. I'd rather get gamed a few times rather than miss helping out someone who really needs it.

If "jack" is just a troll, it explains the completely off-the-wall story.

[MikeBrke]

Well, as I've said before. I'd rather get gamed a few times rather than miss helping out someone who really needs it.

If "jack" is just a troll, it explains the completely off-the-wall story.

I agree 100%.  There will always be people who take advantage of other people's kindness.  But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be kind.

I also agree that his story just doesn't add up.  I can see getting a few negative comments at first, but not after a couple of weeks.  Especially from coworkers he doesn't seem close to in the first place.

I vote "troll." But I have a feeling he does have hair loss issues, just not the ones he has written about. 

[Jack21]

You all have been very kind to me and in no way did I mean to deceive anyone.

The fact remains that I have shaved my head but because I did have a hair transplant procedure many years ago when I was young, desperate, and stupid I do have a scar at the back of my head.

I knew that I would find no support from men who were brave enough to shave their heads at the first sign of losing it rather than resorting to pathetic, desperate measures like I did.

I am not a troll. I am a real guy, and I am out of options. I thought that the only thing I could do was to pull off the hair piece and shave my head and to be the real me, scars and all.

Yes, there are inconsistencies in the stories. I did not want to say where I worked on the other forum. The years don't match either. Here's the truth:

I had the HT in Miami in the summer of 2003. I began using concealers when my mother first saw me after the army in the summer of 2002. After the surgery I continued to use concealers until 2008 at which time my hair had become too thin to support the paint and powder. At that point I got a hair system. I wore that system until 2 weeks ago.

I also failed to mention that I tried the shaved head route twice before. Both times I could not handle the reaction and ultimately went back to the hair system.

I hoped that with your support this time I could get through it.

What choice do I really have? I made a terrible, terrible decision that has left a long scar at the back of my head but I can no longer bear to wear a toupee.

I realize that this is not your problem. It is mine. I made the very poor life decisions and now I am paying for it. I wish that I had had the bravery to do what all of you have done 9 years ago instead of going the route of concealers, surgery, rugs.

I apologize to everyone. I thank you all, and apologize from the bottom of my heart for not disclosing the fact that I had a HT 7 years ago. I am very, very sorry. To all who helped me, thank you. To all who feel lied to, I am so very sorry.

You are a great bunch of guys. I wish I had never done something so stupid. The only thing that I can say that I am doing or have done that is positive is to continually post warnings on the hair transplant web site. I have said over and over - do not do this to yourself. Just shave your head.

Sorry, everyone. So very sorry.


 

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Okay Jack21, now, I for one, just want to see you move forward.  The past can't be changed, you can influence, not manage, the future. 

[Jack21]

You are a far bigger man than me for even replying, and I appreciate that. I don't know if you realize it but you and others gave me the strength to persevere.  My thanks to you and my apologies again.

Okay Jack21, now, I for one, just want to see you move forward.  The past can't be changed, you can influence, not manage, the future. 

[Jack21]

One last thing. I got this reply to my post on the HT forum:

"your story and journey have saved me from getting a HT. next summer i'm taking the plunge and shaving it"

I am doing my utmost to prevent people from getting sucked in by these docs and the industry that preys on the insecurities of bald/ing men and makes them feel like balding is ugly/undesirable/wrong. I was not as brave as any of you 7 years ago. It has taken me a long, long time to finally let the world see me scars and all.

I am obviously more difficult to look at b/c of the scar, but that is the price that I am paying for my stupidity, desperation, and poor decision making. I am paying the price for looking like a freak b/c I was so desperate to avoid baldness. I believe that's irony.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

One last thing. I got this reply to my post on the HT forum:

"your story and journey have saved me from getting a HT. next summer i'm taking the plunge and shaving it"

  Well done--but may I suggest that you pick up the SBG attitude and see if you can find out why he's waiting--mpb doesn't respect time or hairline--why wait? 

It has taken me a long, long time to finally let the world see me scars and all.

I am obviously more difficult to look at b/c of the scar,**** I am paying the price for looking like a freak *****

Has anyone ever told you that you really are too hard on yourself?--baldness isn't a defect nor are scars--I've got several--you need to learn that people really do see beyond your immediate physical presence, and if you get control on your attitude on your appearance, they will too.

[TheSlyBear]

Jack, if you are being genuine, we're here to help. Anyone can make mistakes. Man up about the mistakes, and make sure you're clean with us. You'll find any amount of support you need -- all it takes is being up front and honest. You've got nothing to fear here.

[Jack21]

You are both bigger men than I. I will never conceal anything from you guys again. 

[erutan]

Hey Jack,  Remember this saying the next time someone comes at you with an ignorant comment at work or at home. 


"The mean things they say don't make me feel bad, 'cause I can't lose a friend that I never had"


Stay strong, bro

-Jason

[Razor X]

I knew that I would find no support from men who were brave enough to shave their heads at the first sign of losing it rather than resorting to pathetic, desperate measures like I did.

Well, you were mistaken about that.  Some of the members here are in the same boat and some of them can probably advise you about the dermabrasion procedures available to minimize the scarring.

So what's the real deal with respect to how people are currently reacting?