Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence
SOS I suffer a great deal!
baldtribesman:
Dexter I am going to let the cat out of the bag and tell you as well as my other Sly brothers what I suffer from. I have body dysmorphic disorder. For me this takes the form of really thinking constantly whether I look in the mirror or photos of myself or just thinking in my head, I believe that I am ugly, I believe I need plastic surgery. I feel when people look at me they see a hidious looking man. I feel my complextion and my facial skin is horrible. I have been to hundreds of dermatologists and they say the lesions that I have are harmless, they also say do not look into the mirror to closely and then you will be happy. Thats really know consellation to me and no matter what anybody would tell me I feel I am ugly ugly ugly ugly. I have depression and low self esteem as a result. I constately fantasize about having cosmetic surgery but I do not have the money for that. Having Body Dysmorphic Disorder is particularly painful to me because I suffer from OCD as well so I obssess and obsess and look at the fine details of my face in the mirror close up.
Why am I telling you this Dexter, and the rest of the Sly Crew hear? Becuase first of all I want to tell you you are not alone in having mental anguish, even though I know your situation is unique to you as we are all unique. The other is I want to ask the Sly Guys what I can do, whenever I do anything requiring me to give a photo out such as online chatting or dating I have experienced firsthand that when the lady sees my photo she no longer wants to talk with me. And this is not even in person, I cannot get through the front door. That sends the message to me that in real life face to face situations people that think I am ugly are not going to say that to me, and that people who say I look okay are only doing it to try to make me feel better but are really insincere in their compliment which I get rather rarely anyway.
I also want to admit that I have a fear of putting an updated photo up because I feel that the photo which you guys currently see is at a good angle and that the lighting actually makes me look better. I am sitting hear with my mac afraid to take an updated photo of myself to post because I have felt lately that I am particularly ugly. I am depressed and have no confidence and self esteem. I guess this may go on until I get enough money to have plastic surgery or have enough money to pay a prostitute or get a girl that is a gold digger, until then I am in this pititful situation guys.
RyanJP:
Tribe my friend, I salute you for opening out and explaining your tribulation but at the same time I'm advising you to you stop beating yourself up. You mentioned that your afraid to upload a new photo/avatar, tell you what I put up a new photo of myself and do I think it's perfect, Hell no and I could critique it and say look at the scar on my right side of my cheek because it's a old nasty scab healing, I'm here for you my friend, Believe me when I say that I've gone through everything that you are going through one time in my life.
PM me if you want to talk.
Razor X:
You're not even close to being ugly. You look perfectly normal to me -- take that as a compliment because I'm highly critical when it comes to these kinds of things. Granted, if you really were ugly, I wouldn't be rude enough to say so, but I wouldn't be saying you weren't if I thought you were. :D
We all have cosmetic flaws; if you are going to get really close to the mirror and look for them, you will find them. The view is never good from that close.
I assume that you're getting professional help for this disorder?
baldtribesman:
Yes I am getting professional and I make some progress if my general mood but the feeling that my face is ugly is very deeply ingrained in me, next week I am starting Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on an outpatient basis at a hospital. However I want the truth I want to hear from guys on this forum what I look like for real, for real not to flatter me or make me feel better, but the honest to g-d truth about my face. I will find it hard to believe it when a psychologist or other clinical professional tells me what the deal is because as my former professor in college once said "psychologist and psychiatrists are like prostitutes they get paid to be your friend"
You guys here are not paid by me or forced to, this is a fraternity of real men, good men, and I appreciate your honest and candid viewpoints.
Fred
Razor X:
--- Quote from: baldtribesman on April 26, 2010, 06:53:47 PM ---
However I want the truth I want to hear from guys on this forum what I look like for real, for real not to flatter me or make me feel better, but the honest to g-d truth about my face.
--- End quote ---
The God's honest truth -- if I ran into you on the street, I'd probably take notice of you because of your shaved head (I'm just programmed to take note when I see other sly guys out in public). But aside from that, I wouldn't think of you as anything other than an average guy. There is certainly nothing wrong with how you look.
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