Hi Ppl, 23 Yr Old Chinese Guy Need Advices

[dexter]

hey ppl i need advices from u guys about my current hairloss.

i started losing my hair rapidly at 20 n now i m going 24. it has been a horrible 4 yrs for me. right now i still can comb sideways to hide my thinning a wee bit but i figure 1 day i would not be able to hide it.

throughout these 4 yrs, i turned into a extremely depressed guy. i would refuse gathering/outings with families/friends. i am also very paranoid about ppl around me, always thinking ppl r staring at my head. i would have to go to toilet every 30 mins to check out my hair. Lots of ppl r also making cruel comments about my hair. Sometimes i would hide in my room n cry. why? why me?

thats not the end of my problems i do have excema round my face making my eye region darker than the surrounding face.


right now i have 2 choices. take propecia or go bald. but taking propecia may harm me.

being bald isnt something i would like cause in my country, lots of guys around my age is obessed with hairstyles. being bald will really make me odd



fortunately while i started balding, i took up bodybuilding. i am fit n atheltic looking but that doesnt seem to help my self esteem.

i gota do something. i m sick n tired of being depressed. the only barrier preventing me from shaving is the kind of stares i will get. i am afraid after shaving, i may get even more depresseed. i m afraid to make the 1st move

[omegapd]

Dexter,

 Welcome to the forum! We can give advice and help you along the way, but only you can make the decision to go SLY.

 This is a great group of people and please spend some time reading the different posts here- many of us have overcome depression, etc. and you may find some ways to help yours.

Again, welcome! Glad to have you here!

[The Noggin]

Welcome dexter!

When you accept the hairloss as what it is, just the way your body is genetically programmed to be, you are free to say "That's how I am, not worse than any other guy". Then you can stop hiding. And the best way to do this is to short buzz or to shave. You show awareness and confidence in yourself (maybe more than you really have). But with every day you're pulling it off, the confidence will grow. You're in control.

As for the drugs: Besides the side effects, taking drugs is a form of hiding as well. You would still always think about your hair. It is no solution.

Of course, the first step is the hardest.
Good luck with your decision.

[Mikekoz13]

Welcome to the Forum Dexter!

Things in life are aften a matter of perspective. You say you will look odd shaved... but I think you will look unique. Unique is always better than just fitting in with the rest of the crowd.

And if you think combing that hair over to hide your bald spots looks good, I've got some bad news for you. Take a photo of that hairstyle now and put the photo away for about six months. Then go back and look at it.......

As for the drugs...... never a good choice my Friend... they can make that little soldier of yours refuse to stand at attention at the worst possible times.

[pdxtodd]

Welcome to the group!  I agree with Mike -- use being sly as an advantage by standing out in the crowd.  Its going to give you a leg up on the competition.   While other guys are obsessing about their hair in front of the mirror - you can spend that time doing something positive.  I took finasteride (propecia) for years with no regrowth but with elevated estrogen.  Estrogen and being male is a bad thing.  Don't do it unless you want to start wearing a bra.

[william]

Dont hide, u need to start living and think positive.

try to listen to this

[Polarbear]

Hi Dexter,

Sly is a hairstyle too Stand out!

Never do a combover or hide anything! You won't be able to cope with the insecureties that you are already experiencing.

[aznmonk]

Haven't posted in a long time. But I am in the same boat as you Dexter. I'm from HK and I know exactly how you feel. I've been wearing hats for 4 years everytime i go out, avoiding situations where hats arent an option; swimming, formal dinners etc.

But you can't hide forever. Neither can I. I'll be shaving my head tonight... hope you join me

[Ming the Merciless]

Of course there will be some stares and comments.  There always are.  But then, in one or two weeks, everyone will have gotten over their surprise, and will relate to and act around you the way they did before you went sly.  People forget; people move on.  Your hair is a big thing in your own life, but it's not a #1 interest for anyone else on Earth.  Four years of fretting and depression vs. one or two weeks until your life is completely on an even keel?  Do it. 

[Xanwolf1337]

That sounds abit like i was till a couple of days ago when i went sly.

I was depressed because of how i looked etc, but im very glad i shaved my head, as now i have been looking around and see others that should do what i did as they seem to be in the same boat i was.

Like you said about others where you live being interested in hairstyles, i wouldn't let it bother you, because just think about how much money and time they have to put into it, also abit of wind or rain will spoil that "hair-do" and then they get laughed at lol.

Also you said you did bodybuilding...dude, most bodybuilders have shaved heads and pull the look off so well,

get your head shaved and stick a sleeveless top on and show everyone whos the boss ...you'll love it!

Hope that helps.

[Argyle]

For what it is worth, I think you need to separate out your issues a bit here.  I can associate with everything you have said, although I am a bit older than you. 

Firstly the hair loss thing.  Well let's face it it will happen to lots of guys at various ages.  I admit it has come young to you as it did me, but there are some advantages to that.  For instance it is easier I imagine to shave your head when you are in your twenties and play around with style a little than it is in your fifties (although I must say the outcome is the same).  Unless you want to risk your health, there isnt anything you can do about it other than to ride with nature.  Anything artificial you do, will look, artificial.  This forum is full of guys who have been in your position and gone with it and generally felt better for it. 

Secondly, you mention that you are depressed, and whilst losing your hair may be the catalyst for this, you need to put how it makes you feel in perspective and ask whether in a small way your head is making you over react.  Depression is a serious business and a result of a chemical inbalance in the brain.  When you are anxious, you produce all kinds of chemicals that run down the volumes of others.  The good news is that the chemical issue can be easily solved by a course of medication so go and see your Doc if it sounds appropriate. 

Please dont do what I did and wallow in your own self pity for too long, it gets harder and harder to get out of that mindset.  The thing that upsets me most now, isnt the hairloss, although I still have challenges with that, but the fact that I have ever allowed it to shape my enjoyment of a particular situation.  I literally feel like I have wasted quite a lot of the last few years - dont do that as that it what you will regret the most. 

Be strong, take care and the guys on here are here to help you through it. 

Chris

[lifeinthesouth]

I know that being young and loosing your hair is hard on your self esteem. It was on mine. I started loosing my hair in very early 20's. I tried to hide it for years by wearing hats. It wasn't till I couldn't wear a hat in my job anymore that I knew I WANTED to do something about it. To be honest that first step was hard. I would recommend going to a barber shop or hair salon and just ask them to buzz it short. Start with something not too short and work your way down. I started with a # 2  (1/4" or about 6mm in length) then went #1 then no guard at all. Trust me when I say it is not a big of a deal as you think it is. My biggest problem was the same as most men. You are thinking about it too much. Just do it, if you don't like it. In 2 weeks time it will have grown back. What is the worst that can happen, you love it and gain self esteem and confidence in yourself. Good luck.

[dexter]

Haven't posted in a long time. But I am in the same boat as you Dexter. I'm from HK and I know exactly how you feel. I've been wearing hats for 4 years everytime i go out, avoiding situations where hats arent an option; swimming, formal dinners etc.

But you can't hide forever. Neither can I. I'll be shaving my head tonight... hope you join me

yup presently i still can hide but i do have this urge to shave n get this load off my mind.

imagine the days i do not worry about my hair n i can really concentrate on building up my physique

[Razor X]

 I admit it has come young to you as it did me, but there are some advantages to that.  For instance it is easier I imagine to shave your head when you are in your twenties and play around with style a little than it is in your fifties (although I must say the outcome is the same).  

This is exactly right.  You have a lot more freedom to experiment with your appearance when you're younger than when you're older.  Also bear in mind, it's not the bald head that is the problem; it's the hair that you're left with that makes you look bad.  Get rid of the hair and the problem is solved.  There are plenty of sly 20-somethings out there to serve as examples.

[DuffRyder17]

Hey bro, I am in the same boat as you. I'm only 23, there was a period of a couple months when I was 21, that I was very depressed. I joined this site, got a ton of good advice... I can look back and say that I still enjoy life very much.

guys our age with hair are obsessed with styling it. what a waste of time. not all girls are as into those guys, as you undoubtedly think right now.

accept your hair loss. get your confidence back, and live life