Help!

[Razor X]

  I've never been much of a tough guy type, and I feel like I'm gonna have to re-establish my identity or risk people thinking I'm a freak.  I'm in great shape but skinny, so maybe I need to bulk up, get some tats, and go for the biker/bouncer look?  Or is it possible to be a skinny bald kid without people thinking you look like the dude from Powder?  Did you guys, especially the ones my age, feel like you had to "change" who you were?

I think you look fine, but it's normal to be a bit self-conscious in the beginning.  Try experimenting a bit with facial hair; no one will confuse you for the guy from Powder or a cancer patient if you're sporting a beard -- not that I think they will make those associations now, anyway.   Bulking up your muscles is never a bad thing, either.

Changing your hairstyle shouldn't result in a total personality change, but it's bound to cause some changes to a certain degree. If you feel better about appearance and have more confidence, it's going to show.  That's the secret of sly.  Any changes that result from shaving will be positive ones.

You don't have to be a tough guy, but it never hurts if other people think you are, and you can use that to your advantage.  Case in point:  A couple of months ago some nut tried to start something with me in the gym locker room.  I accidentally brushed against him when I was putting my coat on and he flipped out and started making a big deal over it.  I didn't want to get into a fight with him, so I just apologized and tried to go on my way.  He wouldn't let go of it, and I really thought for a split second that he was going to take a swing at me.  A few years ago that would have really scared me, but I quickly sized this guy up -- he was older than me and smaller than me, and I knew I could take him down if I had to.  I also knew I could intimidate him with my appearance -- and that helped me to stand my ground.  I just gave him The Look -- and he backed right down.   

[mangosink12572]

You look great  - - -now just enjoy being SLY BALD  - -and welcome to be with us

And we are here to help in any we can

[HairToday]

"when you can't do anymore, do three more"

That's a great philosophy dude... not just for weight lifting but life in general.

I think you look fine, but it's normal to be a bit self-conscious in the beginning.  Try experimenting a bit with facial hair; no one will confuse you for the guy from Powder or a cancer patient if you're sporting a beard -- not that I think they will make those associations now, anyway.   Bulking up your muscles is never a bad thing, either.

Changing your hairstyle shouldn't result in a total personality change, but it's bound to cause some changes to a certain degree. If you feel better about appearance and have more confidence, it's going to show.  That's the secret of sly.  Any changes that result from shaving will be positive ones.

True.  I feel like I can project that confidence even if I don't always feel it inside... so maybe the longer I act like that, the more I'll really feel it?

Today was sort of up and down.  I was planning to go hiking today with a friend but he had to bail at the last minute to help his Dad (who's kind of a hard ass) with something, so I ended up not having any plans during the day.  I went to the gym and swam and got more stunned reactions from the lifeguards I hadn't seen yet.  For some reason I felt a lot more self-conscious today, I was sure everyone was staring at my head.  I left feeling pretty low, and driving back home I felt not like myself at all, I kept on obsessing on all the things that suck about my life, how I wish I didn't have to go bald... I got back and cleaned up, went through some medical bills and tried to get sh*t together, which made me feel a little better.

Later, one of my cousins came over with his two kids, aged 4 and 2.  They both stopped in their tracks when they saw me.  The older one asked "who's that?" and their Dad said "it's Alex!" and she started laughing.  She said it couldn't be me, I have hair!  Not anymore, I said.  Her little brother just giggled.  Within about five minutes they were completely used to it... it's amazing how fast kids adapt.  They both wanted to touch my head, so I told them to rub it and make a wish.  They really brightened up what was so far kind of a crappy day.

Later on I got a huge boost, though.  Another cousin called to talk... he lost his mom recently to and had remembered it was my mom's birthday the other day.  He moved to Hawaii last year, and is in the process of buying a house on Oahu.  When I found out he was getting a place, I had thought about asking him if he'd consider me moving in with him, but I was afraid he'd say no, that he already had people lined up.  So I can't even describe how happy I was when, out of the blue, he all but demanded I move out there.  Even better, he knows some people in the Hawaii school district, who could help me get my foot in the door to be a teacher there.  I tried to hide my excitement but I just couldn't.  I've been worrying so much about not having a plan for the future that to have an option has changed my entire outlook.  I know I shouldn't make a decision this big lightly, and I'm gonna give it some more thought, but I really think it might be the right move.  There's about two more months left in the school year here, which should be enough time to get my plans together and hopefully get a job lined up.  That's the part I'm most worried about... it took so long for me to find a job here that I'd be anxious about leaving it.  But on the other hand, if I don't do this now, when will I ever make a big change?

What do you guys think?  Should I do it?

[revived]

I think if the opportunity is there you should do it for sure (i realise that go's against what I said in an earlier comment, but it seems you're doing it for the right reasons now).. its almost fate!

[Razor X]

True.  I feel like I can project that confidence even if I don't always feel it inside... so maybe the longer I act like that, the more I'll really feel it?

Exactly.  The confidence will come in time; in the meantime, fake it.  

Later on I got a huge boost, though.  Another cousin called to talk... he lost his mom recently to and had remembered it was my mom's birthday the other day.  He moved to Hawaii last year, and is in the process of buying a house on Oahu.  When I found out he was getting a place, I had thought about asking him if he'd consider me moving in with him, but I was afraid he'd say no, that he already had people lined up.  So I can't even describe how happy I was when, out of the blue, he all but demanded I move out there.  Even better, he knows some people in the Hawaii school district, who could help me get my foot in the door to be a teacher there.  I tried to hide my excitement but I just couldn't.  I've been worrying so much about not having a plan for the future that to have an option has changed my entire outlook.  I know I shouldn't make a decision this big lightly, and I'm gonna give it some more thought, but I really think it might be the right move.  There's about two more months left in the school year here, which should be enough time to get my plans together and hopefully get a job lined up.  That's the part I'm most worried about... it took so long for me to find a job here that I'd be anxious about leaving it.  But on the other hand, if I don't do this now, when will I ever make a big change?

What do you guys think?  Should I do it?

I would look into the employment prospects there; if they look good and you want to move out there, then go for it.

[HairToday]

I would look into the employment prospects there; if they look good and you want to move out there, then go for it.

Yeah, I definitely want to have something lined up before I leave, especially considering how long it's taken me to find work where I am now.  The problem with Hawaii that I've heard people talk about is that there's a lot of bias against outsiders when it comes to jobs... especially in the school system.  But if I get a good enough tan before I go, maybe I can pass for a native?

[D.A.L.U.I.]

maybe I can pass for a native?

Please, no grass skirt, sly & almost anything, but no grass skirt.

[Arnie]

Welcome to SBGs!!!