Wife's reaction...

[-Doug-]

I am sure that this has been covered before, but how have you guys handled your wife's reactions to your decision.

First off, let me state up front that I love my wife  and value her opinion.

An opportunity presented itself for me to, once again, do a head shave challenge. Not only was she against the idea, she was vehemently against it. I have come to terms with my lot in life of being on the folliclely challenged list and am ready to take step to beat mother nature to the punch.

Her reaction has me wondering if she will ever be "o.k." with the decision of me regularly using a razor for my pate as opposed to a comb. I am just wondering if any of you have had similar situations and what happened/how did you work it out?

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Well, let me say at the outset that my wife has never, I mean never, "accepted" my decision to shave away a dying mop--aka combover.  She has learned to live with the almost constant compliments I get from her friends and people she respects.  My guess on her refusal is that for her I'm still supposed to look like the guy she married over 35 years ago.  Even at that time I recently learned one of my best friends, he's my oldest child's godfather, had noticed my "hole".
I refused to deal with this, even though I have to say I knew it had to come and frankly I thought the look was good even if not compared to a rim-job. 
So, how do you deal with it?  Recognize that she isn't living in your skin 24/7, notwithstanding the wedding vows.  Remember also as has been pointed out several times here, that she probably never asks you before she changes her hair style or even color--that's for her to decide, and rightfully so.  Obviously your choice of hair or non-hair style is yours also. 
For my part, I asked forgiveness (and never got it) not permission.  It was rough, I can't minimize that.  I would be very happy if she could finally embrace it--but whether she does or not, I'm not going back to a combover, and doubt I could get one going today that would even look as "good" as Pat Buchannan's .  And I still love the look on her face when her friends come up, give me a head rub and say how good it looks--priceless.  And when someone comes up and tells me that notwithstanding my wife's request that they not encourage me, they also think it looks good--well, it's just great.  The hair part of my life, yours and many others is over.  Don't get caught in the rain w/ a bad looking combover looking like a drown rat.  This is one you do for yourself, and for somethings that's just how it is, it doesn't reflect on your love and respect for your wife, it's only about living and looking as good as you can in your own opinion.  This is all about you, and living with yourself and your appearance.  Does you're wife stand w/ you every morning while you  try to make something of what's left, no.  Rumplestiltskin couldn't do it and neither can you.  Shave it, enjoy it-it's great it's freedom, as you know from your previous experience. 

[J.P.M. Polished]

Sorry to hear about the wife I had my miss take the 30 day thing.now she fusses if I dont keep it Sly

[mangosink12572]

My better half still hates my BALD HEAD - - - - - - but they all get use to it  - -It is really great for me because I don't carry a comb any more

[Magoo]

My wife would prefer I let the sides grow a little.Thats all I coud do any way.For get about a comb-over, even she woud not want that.But since I shaved it this time about 3 wks. ago she has made no coments.Either way its my decision to make.

[-Doug-]

Thanks for all of the advice fellas! That is what I love about this place. 

I am adding some pics to show where I am at (folliclely)...


...from the back


...from the top 1


...from the top 2


~2 moths post sly conversion
 

~2 days post sly conversion


current look - a long #3 buzz

Added these just so there is some perspective/reference for this thread.

[Nonick]

Hmmm, reaction...  
I started down this path several years ago, late 2005, on another forum.  The first time I shaved, I think my wife was in shock.  
After a few days she gave me the ultimatum "grow or go".  
The third time I shaved, she said to sign the divorce papers !

Since then, the MPB has taken it's toll.  What I can grow out is sort of a half a head of hair    It's mostly the sides and the back.
To this day, she still prefers the nubs (somewhere between buzzed and #1) to a shaved head.  I think she's softened on the idea some, since she's still hoping I'm her retirement meal ticket (so she hasn't said anything about the big D or leaving).  But she still throws around the "you look like a cancer patient" slam, or the WWII prison camp comment - except I'm about 40 lbs too heavy to ever think I was in that situation.
Amazingly, with digital cameras, I look - BALD!    even when I have a few nubs.  So it goes.
I can still fog a mirror (I'm still upright - and breathing) so I count my blessings and move out smartly at a high rate of speed (OK, I saunter as fast as reasonably possible in public.)  

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Okay, let's get real.  Show those top pictures #1 & 2 to the wife along w/ a picture of Pat Buchanan--then show her the picture of you sly and "now."  Fact, you don't have hair so the combover can be disposed of quickly--unless she wants you ugly as a control factor so no other woman would even think of coming on to you!   Fact: you look 5-10 years younger sly, why would she want that, unless she doesn't want people to think she's married to a younger man?
I would grab a razor and get clean asap.  As I said this is all about you. 

[pdxtodd]

My wife decided to divorce me right after I went sly.   Talk about reaction!  Actually slyness had nothing to do with it.   

BUT I can tell you that post sly -- I've had more women come up to me out of the blue and say "you look hot with your head shaved".   That alone is worth the trip!   

Stay sly!

[baldtribesman]

I think you look great sly, I think your wife will love you no matter what hairstyle you choose to have.  Do what feels right for yourself, do what you feel comfortable with.  I am impartial to being sly and I feel you should be sly.  Its your choice though, I promise you that if you choose to be sly from now on all those in your life will get used to it.  My parents hated it at first now when I show them a picture of myself with hair they laugh and say that I look better sly.  I like that Billy Joel song "Don't go changing just to please me".

[-Doug-]

...Show those top pictures #1 & 2 to the wife....

She took them! I am not sure what hang up she has with it. I don't know if she associates some sort of stigma with a hairless head. Her dad, as long and I have known him, has a LONG (4-5 inch) combover so I that may have something to do with it. She doesn't see it as an issue becuase she's grew up with someone that dealt with thinning in the typical  - combover - manner.

Saint, Do you know where I find a "good" combover pic of Mr. Pat B?

For now I am just going to keep a short buzz, no. 3 at the longest, and hope that she will eventually see that I am comfortable with my lack of hair and that I am not going to try to grow it back.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

She took them! [ ] For now I am just going to keep a short buzz, no. 3 at the longest, and hope that she will eventually see that I am comfortable with my lack of hair and that I am not going to try to grow it back.

IMO, it's a control issue then.  Face it you're in your mid-30's, and you look mid forties even buzzed, and, well I won't put a number on your appearance w/ the combover.  This is a control issue--that's between you and your wife.  She's in control, FOR SURE.  She has security issues that this Forum can't deal with!

Saint, Do you know where I find a "good" combover pic of Mr. Pat B?

Google his name there are plenty, none too pretty. 

[warhawk]

I am just wondering if any of you have had similar situations and what happened/how did you work it out?

hey doug:  1st of all... i hope that U satisfy yourself by getting your razor & "take the plunge, again".  U totally rock the chrome dome.  2 answer your question... i've been very lucky that my beautiful wifey supports my sly life.  please... keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness.

WARHAWK

[bem75]

Just being honest, like the other guys.  You look much better shaved.  That combover is bad, man.  Don't ever do that again.  I'm sorry if that stings, but we're here to help each other out and give support.  You rock the sly look.  Seriously.  It takes years off your appearance.

It has been said hundreds, maybe even thousands of times here....you have got to be happy with yourself.  Your appearance is about you.  If shaving your head makes you feel better about yourself, it is going to make you a better person.  I honestly believe that.

My wife loves my bald head.  In fact, everyone does.  So, i cannot say how I would react, if she didn't like it.  I'd like to think that I would shave it anyways, but I cannot say for sure.  All I know is that shaving my head makes me more confident and it makes me a better man.

You gotta do the best thing for yourself.  You have only one shot at this life.  There is nothing worse than regret and I can tell you that a lot of guys here have regrets about not shaving their heads earlier in life.

I'd suggest having a serious conversation with your wife and tell her flat out that it makes you happy.  If she doesn't want you to be happy, you have bigger issues to resolve.

Good luck.

[-Doug-]

Just being honest, like the other guys.  You look much better shaved.  That combover is bad, man.  Don't ever do that again.  I'm sorry if that stings, but we're here to help each other out and give support.  You rock the sly look.  Seriously.  It takes years off your appearance.

Doesn't sting. I hate guys that have combovers. I think they look awful on guys - or girls for that matter.      To be honest, I never knew that it was THAT bad. I knew I was thinning and I always said, if it got that bad, I'd take it down to the wood. And that is the point I am at now.