Wife's reaction...

[SlyTK]

I was worried about my wife's initial reaction when I decided to go sly....

Number 1....she loved the way I looked (and look) but maybe more importantly, she loved (and loves) the way I am now.

She says that she has her old T.K. back....that "you're confident again....It's so great to see you not worrying about your hair."

That sealed it for me.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

It's tough, really painfully tough when your wife won't let go of the past.  I had some really rocky months at first, but once she saw that 1) it wasn't going away--or coming back, whatever, and 2) that the vast majority of our friends either accepted it or praised it, she's calmed down, she doesn't like it, but she knows that she can't change it. 

I think the slow and easy just drags out an uncomfortable position.  I see from your map your from VA, near Charlottsville [BTW, older daughter graduated from UVA].  That's pretty socially conservative country, but certainly no more so than NO.  I don't have any problems or complaints here. 

It's going to be a rocky ride at first, but go to the skin, tough it out.  She'll calm down, but it may take a while.  Meanwhile you'll be at peace w/ yourself. 

[schro]

It's tough, really painfully tough when your wife won't let go of the past.  I had some really rocky months at first, but once she saw that 1) it wasn't going away--or coming back, whatever, and 2) that the vast majority of our friends either accepted it or praised it, she's calmed down, she doesn't like it, but she knows that she can't change it. 

I think the slow and easy just drags out an uncomfortable position.  I see from your map your from VA, near Charlottsville [BTW, older daughter graduated from UVA].  That's pretty socially conservative country, but certainly no more so than NO.  I don't have any problems or complaints here. 

It's going to be a rocky ride at first, but go to the skin, tough it out.  She'll calm down, but it may take a while.  Meanwhile you'll be at peace w/ yourself. 

Great post, Saint!!

[cvasara]

It's tough, really painfully tough when your wife won't let go of the past.  I had some really rocky months at first, but once she saw that 1) it wasn't going away--or coming back, whatever, and 2) that the vast majority of our friends either accepted it or praised it, she's calmed down, she doesn't like it, but she knows that she can't change it. 

I think the slow and easy just drags out an uncomfortable position.  I see from your map your from VA, near Charlottsville [BTW, older daughter graduated from UVA].  That's pretty socially conservative country, but certainly no more so than NO.  I don't have any problems or complaints here. 

It's going to be a rocky ride at first, but go to the skin, tough it out.  She'll calm down, but it may take a while.  Meanwhile you'll be at peace w/ yourself. 

With everything that is really important that goes on in a marriage/relationship,  these little things that tend to bother and affect a significant other, sure does add to the weight of baggage.   
Pretty sad when the prioritys just aren't in the right order.

[-Doug-]

Rob6: I know, I know....my avatar quote is very ironic right now.   

Saint: You have some very good points! I am thinking that taking it to the wood and toughing it out may be the best approach. She needs to see that this will bring me happiness and that should be what she wants - a happy husband.

All of her arguments against the idea have been based on her feelings of the look not how I feel about want to give my hair loss the finger!

[schro]

Doug,
If you like being sly, you should do it.
Your wife should put herself in your shoes....do you think she'd appreciate it if you said some of the things that she's saying?

[D.A.L.U.I.]

All of her arguments against the idea have been based on her feelings of the look not how I feel about want to give my hair loss the finger!

It's clear you know, and have known, what needs to be done.  The diplomatic way to do it, IMO, is not to ever point out her issues, or even talk about them at first, but speak only of your need, and your right as an individual, to control your personal appearance.  That's where this is, it's about you, not her.  You feel the strong and legitimate need to be free of what I think we all felt while we had the corpse of the dying mop on our heads--we want free of the look of a balding man.

[-Doug-]

I am now at a No 1 and I don't know how much longer I can hold off!   My wife  , God love her, had the nerve to say "it makes it look like you have even less hair!" Talk about being harsh and not understanding what I am going through. 

Next time a discussion about my hair comes up, I am going to tell her that the reason I haven't done the deed yet isn't because she hasn't given me "permission." It is because I wanted her to be comfortable with and have time to accept the decision I am making. After that talk, I don't see full slyness too far off in my future.

Thanks for everyones comments on this thread! It has helped my to put my thoughts on here and to hear everyone's comments.

[R o b 6]

I am now at a No 1 and I don't know how much longer I can hold off!

Good for you, Doug. That's excellent progress! Now you're just a mere 1/8 of an inch away from complete freedom! Go for it.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

I am now at a No 1 and I don't know how much longer I can hold off!   My wife  , God love her, had the nerve to say "it makes it look like you have even less hair!" Talk about being harsh and not understanding what I am going through. 

Next time a discussion about my hair comes up, I am going to tell her that the reason I haven't done the deed yet isn't because she hasn't given me "permission." It is because I wanted her to be comfortable with and have time to accept the decision I am making. After that talk, I don't see full slyness too far off in my future.

Thanks for everyones comments on this thread! It has helped my to put my thoughts on here and to hear everyone's comments.

It's tough, but it is your comfort, frankly, not hers that is at stake here.  You are the one dealing w/ mpb--at this time.  And, it's time--or you have to live w/ the constant reminder your "hair" time in life is over--and has been for some time.  Good luck, and I know you haven't gotten to the point yet but, I and many others learned, ask forgiveness, not permission.

[-Doug-]

Bombs away!

 I sent my "manifesto" to my wife regarding my hair. I say manifesto but in truth it is a honest letter about my feelings regarding my thinning hair. Hopefully she will read it with an open mind and see that her support of me freeing myself from my hair will mean a lot to me.

[cvasara]

A Letter? 
You mean, like a letter you mail?

[warhawk]

dude... wow... i cannot believe U actually wrote a letter 2 your wifey.  man... doug... my friend>>>>>>>>just shave that dome and call it a day.  PERIOD...POINT BLANK... END OF STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!  with that said... keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness.

WARHAWK

[-Doug-]

A Letter?   You mean, like a letter you mail?

An email.

dude... wow... i cannot believe U actually wrote a letter 2 your wifey. 

Sometimes I think more clearly when I have time to put pen to paper or cursor to screen. It did help me get my feelings across better about this whole issue. It also was a springboard to a good discussion on the matter. So much so, that Sunday is the day!!!!! My return to a smooth head is near.

While she isn't totally happy about it, she now realizes after our talk that it will bring me relief from stressing over my hair, or thinning there of which will make me (and in turn her) happy.

Time to dust off my head shaving routine. Also, I cannot think of a better maiden voyage for the Clear HB Sport that I won a few years back.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

So much so, that Sunday is the day!!!!! My return to a smooth head is near.

While she isn't totally happy about it, she now realizes after our talk that it will bring me relief from stressing over my hair, or thinning there of which will make me (and in turn her) happy.

Time to dust off my head shaving routine. Also, I cannot think of a better maiden voyage for the Clear HB Sport that I won a few years back.

Great news, I know you're looking forward to it, "smooth" shaving!