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Going from a hairpiece to shaving your head by pdxtodd on 01 Jan, 2010 16:25
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I've had several PMs from guys who like me - wear (or in my case past tense -- wore) a hairpiece and are concerned about how people will react to their switch from hair to no hair. Feel free to PM me with any questions or advice, I'm always here to help you through the thought process. There are many of us on the message board who have been in your shoes and we're all here to help.
I know for me the biggest worry was how people would react. One moment I have hair -- the next moment I don't. I worked myself up over the whole thing and agonized for months over my decision. It was a decision that I had to make due to the economy and needing to support my family and not the company who sold me hair. I knew I had to do it - but worried myself sick over worrying about what I would look like and how people would react. I gave my wife a two month warning - her reaction wasn't one of positive or negative - I don't think it really mattered to her. When the date that I had picked came -- I panicked and couldn't do it. My hair was growing out and my system was starting to show wear and tear and the panic grew in intensity with every day that I eeked out of my system. I finally made an appointment with my hairdresser (who reminded me to bring a new system in with me when I came in) - I left work at 9am, walked in -- I told Kathy (my hairdresser) that I was done with hair and to shave it all off. She offered encouragement by saying "great for you - I'm glad you made the decision". She scrubbed all the glue and tape residue off my head and shaved the hair that was left off. I jumped back in the car and went back to work. I agonized over walking in the door but walked in like nothing happened -- the only comment was from one person who said "ah I see you got a haircut". And that was it.
Other than my kids - who liked to say "gee dad you're bald" for the first few days -- the reaction of others has been virtually non-existent. The scenarios that I worked up in my head and agonized over never came to be. All of the agony, sleepless nights, and fear that I harbored over my decision was wasted energy. My only regrets after 30 days of being sly is that I didn't do this years ago. When I think of the $72,000+ that I've spent on hair systems (Hair Club, Hair Direct, hair dressers, and products) and the thousands of dollars I spent on lotions and potions (I was one of the first people on Minoxodil in the 1980's and used it for years at a cost of $100/month, I also took finasteride for years, and I tried just about every other lotion and potion that came on the market) -- it makes me angry that I let society get to me -- thinking that guys with hair are looked upon with more favor than those of us without.
If you're wearing a system and trying to decide -- I know how you feel. I understand the agony, the uncertainty, and the pain. My only suggestion is to take control, free yourself of the burden of wearing a hairpiece, and move on with life knowing that you did the right thing. After 30 days I can honestly say that I love the feeling of not wearing a system, always worrying about whether its "detectable", and by shaving my entire head - not worrying that people will think of me as an old balding guy. Many others on the board have talked about the feeling of freedom -- before shaving I really didn't understand what they were talking about. I know now the feeling and its like having a million pounds of burden removed from your shoulders. I feel like carrying a sign and protesting outside the local hair club!
If you need help or support in making the decision you came to the right place. Feel free to PM me or any of the other guys in the group. We're here to help you break free. Its a very difficult decision -- but I can honestly say that all of the stress and anxiety over "what if..." was all wasted energy. I'm still waiting for women to start coming up and rubbing my head for good luck. I'm looking for hints on that front! :-)
Todd -
#1 by Mikekoz13 on 01 Jan, 2010 18:43
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Todd-
This is a great testimony. Your offer of advice thru PM is awesome because some guys may be hesitant to talk in the open Forum.
It's great having you on board. -
#2 by Razor X on 01 Jan, 2010 20:45
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I've had several PMs from guys who like me - wear (or in my case past tense -- wore) a hairpiece and are concerned about how people will react to their switch from hair to no hair. Feel free to PM me with any questions or advice, I'm always here to help you through the thought process. I think that decision is easier for those who don't wear a hairpiece and who are already visibly dealing with MPB than those of us who cover up the fact (everyone that I've told that I was tired of wearing a hairpiece don't believe that I wore one).
I don't doubt for a minute that it's extremely difficult to take off a hairpiece and then shave your head. But I don't quite agree that it's necessarily easier for those who are already visibly dealing with MPB. For one thing, when you first start losing your hair, you're not sure how noticeable it is to everyone else. We all have cosmetic flaws that we're acutely aware of but the rest of the world is. MPB in the early stages can fall into that category -- but you're never quite sure when you've reached that tipping point. I know that may sound crazy, but the hair on the top and back of the head can become really thin, but if you haven't developed a slick bald spot, you're not really aware of how thin it is. And if you're fair-haired and faired-skinned (like I am
), it doesn't stand out as dramatically as if you were fair-skinned and dark-haired. Lighting can make a tremendous difference -- and even if you can see a lot of scalp in the mirror standing under a really bright light -- you're not sure what everybody else can or can't see. Add to that our capacity to delude ourselves and go into denial mode about things we don't want to deal with, and suddenly it's not so cut and dry.
The truth is, shaving off all your hair is scary no matter who you are, unless you're exceptionally adventurous and courageous, which most of us aren't. We always think that it's easier for everybody else than it is for us -- i.e., if I were older it would be easier to shave my head, if I were already married I wouldn't care about being bald, if I'd lost more hair on top it would be easier to shave the rest off, etc.
That being said, I commend anyone who stops wearing a hairpiece and shaves his dome clean. Life's a lot easier when you don't have to constantly worry about everyone finding out your secret.
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#3 by pdxtodd on 01 Jan, 2010 20:50
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Great points Razor. I agree that its a hard choice for everyone to make.
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#4 by Razor X on 01 Jan, 2010 22:53
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Great points Razor. I agree that its a hard choice for everyone to make.
And the funny thing is, it really shouldn't be hard for any of us because it's just hair. But we can't really see that until after the fact. -
#5 by D.A.L.U.I. on 02 Jan, 2010 08:40
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Life's a lot easier when you don't have to constantly worry about everyone finding out your secret.
I think was RazorX says is very true, except that for almost all the rug wearer's I've know, it's not a secret! I had a great dentist, now retired after Katrina, and the only thing that was truly weird was looking at and under his "piece" while he worked on my teeth.
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#6 by The Noggin on 02 Jan, 2010 15:19
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At least you were distracted from the drilling pain or not?
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#7 by D.A.L.U.I. on 02 Jan, 2010 15:24
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At least you were distracted from the drilling pain or not?
I don't know if I was distracted--I kept thinking how uncomfortable the guy had to be with that thing on his head
Also, he'd generally do a pretty good job of messing up my carefully sprayed in place combover, so I always had to head home and repair before work. I should have picked up on that and shaved then 
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#8 by Tyler on 03 Jan, 2010 00:02
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Thanks for sharing your story!! I know this will help a ton of guys.
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#9 by dodger on 06 Jan, 2010 18:49
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todd
great stuff
your story is my story almost to the letter
Over 30+ years of lotions, transplants, hairpieces and many thousands of dollars before I realized this was not the real me.
Was it easy to make the change..Hell No
The SLY Family gave me direction and confidence to make the move
And finally, I WAS FREE
Oh that feeling of cool air, sun and wind cannot be described when your dome is no longer covered by the rug.
For those that are thinking about any of these processes, PLEASE listen
to us and you will find that it is something you will never regret.
BE FREE-SAVE THE MONEY and BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
steve
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#10 by warhawk on 06 Jan, 2010 19:18
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hey todd: that is awesome. glad that u feel free. enjoy your new found freedom. u look like a natural.
WARHAWK
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#11 by Sooner Steve on 11 Jan, 2010 08:21
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Hey Todd. Your story is mine to a T. I spent 23 years hiding under the hair piece worrying about who knew it was fake, staying out of the wind. sitting with my back to the wall, not letting anyone stand behind me, always worrying if someone was looking at me when they were talking to me or looking at my hair, etc.
It took me about 3 years to finally make the break from the hair. It wasn't until I found SBG that I was able to take off the rug. I know that sounds crazy that some total strangers helped me make one of the greatest decisions of my life but it is true. I think for me it was the fear of letting everyone know I was living a lie. It emberrassed me. I realize now it was a "me thing" because everyone has been so positive about my baldness.
I still get the few people who say "I didn't recognize you without your hair" upon seeing me for the first time which still bothers me. I just quickly go on to another subject and let it drop.
I, like you, and willing to help anyone who struggles with the thought of removing the hairpiece. Anyone can PM me and I will be happy to visit with them about it. It is a huge step but one that has been a positive impact on my life. Only wish I was smart enough to have removed it many years ago.
Thanks again to all the SBG guys who helped me go sly.
Sooner Steve -
#12 by mangosink12572 on 11 Jan, 2010 08:35
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After I shaved my head I bought a wig in the Halloween store (just for fun) It was $59.00 so I have kept it and maybe for next Halloween I will have that wig on - - - or complete hairpiece as you say No Hairpiece for me I love BALD
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#13 by D.A.L.U.I. on 11 Jan, 2010 09:03
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PDXTODD's great post, and Dodger, Razorx & Sooner Steve's followups made me wonder if the Forum could support guys with a "system" (what a fine example of flabberjab--it's a wig for crying out loud!
) even better if there was another Board on the Forum, something like To Ditch the Toupee, or something in addition To be or Not Be...Bald, that could gather in all the fine testimonials to getting rid of those things. It is a distinct area because it's a total change in the method of handling mpb. Slicing off a combover is a primary way of handling it, but guys who've been dragged into the Hair Club for Men, etc. instead as their first response to the issue need to deal with it as a secondary matter and as noted by pdxtodd, Dodger & Sooner has been a long time pattern of response. In addition to their personal issues they work out they also have the "fight" psychologically & literally with the suppliers who lose their ill gotten gains every time a guy gets wise and applies the blade. Just a thought.
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#14 by gracie2 on 03 Feb, 2010 16:10
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Tomorrows the day!! I have worn a hairsystem for close to 20 years and I think Thursday is the day. Should I shave my head bald or just down to 1/8"? I have Friday off of work so I can adjust and then I am going away for the weekend with my wife and close friend couples. I don't think I am to nervous about that. Monday morning going back to work is where the anxiety kicks in, what are people at work going to think and say? I am in sales the prospects I met last week and I need to meet again in a few weeks how are they gonnahandle the change in appearance. Those are some of my concerns.
I hope I have the balls to stick with my plan.
Russell