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23, balding, feeling down..... and I've done it! by litmus on 21 Sep, 2009 16:37
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Last night my life changed completely, for the better.
Like many many people out there (including people on here), my hair started receding when I was young (17). This was the worst thing that could happen, I'm 17!! The usual questions came into my head... "why me?", "why has everyone else got amazing hair?!".
I managed to find a style that suited me, and although I would wear the odd hat to college now and again when I had a bad hair day, it was manageable. As I got older, the hair started to get thinner, at about 20/21 it was starting to get noticeable. Still, I managed to find a haircut that suited me (mid-length all over, fringe flicked to the side) and was able to go about my normal day to day activities. Admittedly on a night getting ready for a night out I would spend far too much time getting ready (2 hours at some points, just for the hair).
Then at about 22 it became an obsession, I'd be constantly checking mirrors, I'd be making excuses to go to the toilet wherever I was to adjust my hair (or should that be comb-over?), it had now taken over my life. I'd missed nights out with friends because it was windy/rainy outside and I didn't want to risk it, and when I did go on nights out, I spend more time either in the toilet mirrors, or finding a seat that didnt have bad lighting (i.e lighting that showed the true state of my mop.) I didn't play sports because when I sweated it again showed the true state of my hair.
My balding was like many, receding, thinning on the top and what I would call an island at the front. And although it was bad in my eyes, not many people had actually noticed it because of my style/comb-over.
Now I'm not a vein person, some would argue that I am going through all this, but my situation was that I have alot of friends, alot of "cool" friends, young, stylish, full of hair, which obviously in my head meant full of life. Going bald just wasn't an option.
Roll on 23, my balding is accelerating, to the point where the style I have is just about masking what it is truly like. I worry about going on nights out, sometimes not even bothering. When I'm out an about during the day I will where possible where a hat, even in the hot sun. I'd come online and read these forums, looking at other guys in my position, and reading with envy the posts of those that have gone before me, shaving their heads and posting about how great it makes them feel, and in my head, I just cant envisage myself going through with it.
A few months ago, I'd met a girl at a party, we got on amazingly, and we're now very serious. We'd spoke briefly about my hair, she claims it wasn't noticeable, and that even if it was, it wouldn't change how she felt, which is nice to hear when you aren't exactly full of confidence up there. And apart from a few more brief discussions which I tried my best to keep brief, nothing more was said.
Two months ago I'd bought a pair of hair clippers, why? I don't know, I just did, reading these forums, and staring in the mirror so much, maybe I just had to, maybe I was telling myself that it was the first step. In my drawer they sat, unused, waiting to take the scalp of their next victim.
Then on Sunday night, I made a decision. The following day I was to start at University, a big moment in many a young persons life, meeting new people, being in new situations, going on nights out. Could I really carry on the way I was with my hair, going to the toilet wherever possible to check my hair, wearing hats even indoors? (Taking a hat off once indoors was a no-no as it would make my hair flat and greasy) And above all else, would I want to be the guy everyone looks at as "the balding guy", obviously no-one would say anything, but they're thinking it right?
I spoke to my girlfriend and told her I was going to do it, she said she'd stand by me whatever my decision. I told her everything, all about how I felt about it, and what I'd been through all these years with it, and she sympathised, and agreed that in that case it was better to get it over and done with, because nature would eventually take it course, wise words, and helpful words.
So I decided there and then in my bedroom, staring into the mirror that I was going to do it, this was it, years of dodging nights out, staying indoors when it was even slightly bad weather, not wearing jumpers because if I had to take them off it would mess my hair up and reveal the truth, not doing sports because it would make too sweaty, not swimming because I couldn't possibly get my hair wet, they would all finally be a thing of the past.
It wasn't easy, believe me, I'd asked my girlfriend to do it for me because I knew that if it was left to me, id keep putting it off, eventually after debating the pro's and con's, making excuses, visiting the toilet up-teen times, she sat me down, apologised to me, and did it. I felt the razor go up the back of my head, and she'd started to shave my head.
Eventually, after about 10 minutes, it was done. I couldn't believe it, I looked in the mirror and stared at the reflection. There it was, there was my head, shaven. There was the shaven head I'd tried to imagine for months and years, there was the shaven head I'd tried to recreate pulling my hair back and combing my wet hair back, did it look like I'd imagined? Did it heck!
It looked far better! The relief flowed through my body, it was finally over, my head was shaved!!
Was the receding as bad as it was with long hair? No, not at all. Did the bald spot look as big and as bald as I'd imagined? Not at all! In-fact, I quite liked it!
Then today, was my first day at University. I stepped out of the house, and I could feel the wind on my head, and it felt amazing, no more dodging wind and rain, I had a new found spring in my step, my ordeal was finally over, and to all my fellow students, it was as if nothing was the matter, after all, they've only ever seen me with a shaven head. As for my other friends and nights out? Well, I saw them all tonight, and it was nothing but positive feedback, of course there was the odd baldy jibe thrown my way in good jest, but I didn't care! Because inside I felt great.
Oh, and my girlfriend loves it. She said the sexiest thing about it, is the confidence it has given me back.
Now this may be a long post, but I had to do this. Because I've been there, I've read these forums, I've lurked in the background and read the threads, the anguish, and I know what its like to feel down and upset about the hair on your head. I want all those that read this, that don't have the confidence, to know that it really isn't as bad as you think. It's not the end of the world, there's so much more to life than worrying about the hair on your head. Just bite the bullet and do it, and hopefully you'll never look back.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, but most of all, thank you to all that have posted before me, and to those guys that come on these forums regularly and help others with their issues.
Litmus.
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#1 by TheSlyBear on 21 Sep, 2009 16:57
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She said the sexiest thing about it, is the confidence it has given me back.
Wiser words have never been spoken!
Congrats and welcome to the "club". -
#2 by D.A.L.U.I. on 21 Sep, 2009 18:11
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Welcome, nice to have you on the Sly Side of Life. Enjoy, and, if the opportunity arises, pass it on.
Post up a picture. 
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#3 by aarrggh on 21 Sep, 2009 18:14
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W E L C O M E 2 S B G
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#4 by Sean25 on 21 Sep, 2009 18:28
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Awesome story. Well the ending at least. Well done my man
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#5 by sellitman on 21 Sep, 2009 19:28
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Your girl friend is a keeper. Great story. I never felt quit as depressed as you did with my lost of hair but I think everyone on here that didn't have a choice can feel from experience some of what you describe.
I am soooo happy I shaved it all off and embraced what was already a foregone conclusion. I have found shaving my head actually gives me great feeling of self worth and confidence. I will never go back.
Welcome to the Sly side. -
#6 by Razor X on 21 Sep, 2009 19:30
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Congratulations and welcome.
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#7 by marty22 on 21 Sep, 2009 20:05
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you did it. welcome./
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#8 by Stu on 21 Sep, 2009 22:55
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Good job - the relief is HUGE once you take the plunge.
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#9 by DaDi on 22 Sep, 2009 03:25
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Loved your post...
Congratulations Litmus! Welcome to SBG!!!
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#10 by joergHH on 22 Sep, 2009 04:46
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Great Intro!
Congratulatuions on your decision and a big welcome here, Litmus!
J -
#11 by Papa Don on 22 Sep, 2009 07:04
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Great post Litmus. I hope you enjoy your newfound freedom. Now, you have more time to spend with your very special lady. Oh yeah! welcome to the site. New brothers are awesome!
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#12 by bem75 on 22 Sep, 2009 08:44
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Welcome! Good story. The confidence that you'll gain is by far the best part about shaving your head. Congrats!!
200...BAM!! -
#13 by BaldBear on 22 Sep, 2009 08:52
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FANTASTIC!
That day was the first day of the BEST of your life. -
#14 by Bald Kahuna on 22 Sep, 2009 09:06
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Congrats- you'll love the sly life and you will have a fun time on the forum.