My wife is starting up again.......

[aarrggh]

  L O V E   

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Two things jump out at me--and I have a spouse who doesn't like Sly either.  One, it was in a restaurant where she and her friend may have downed some Dutch Courage  before you arrived--I'd bet on it.  That reduced her sense of inhibition.  Second, you mention you don't get on her about her weight, and I see you're moving right along on weight loss.  That makes me wonder if she knows she needs to lose weight, and is having problems because she isn't--so she can't talk about weight so she "displaces" her problems on your dome.  Just a thought.  Been there done that. 

[crazy.irish.celt]

That makes me wonder if she knows she needs to lose weight, and is having problems because she isn't--so she can't talk about weight so she "displaces" her problems on your dome.

I would agree with this.  Although, I don't think it's the actual weight that bothers her as much as what she THINKS you think about it.  Maybe she assumes that you think she is overweight and unattractive, and that you are having the same kind of negative thoughts about it as she has about your shaved head. Her vocalization could just be her way of goading you into complaining about her weight, so she can find out if her fears are founded...

Again, I'm not married. But I have waged these types of battles before.  Maybe if you just continued to love her unconditionally and didn't fight back about your shaved head (keep shaving, by all means), maybe be extra nice... then she might realize that she is the antagonist here and that your self-esteem should mean more to her than style preferences.

[tomgallagher]

That situation must be a real pain in the butt JB.

[bubbadave3]

I have the perfect comeback for her.  Tell her that you don't tell her if/when she can shave her underarms and legs, so. . . she can't tell you if/when you can shave your head. 

[Bolohead]

That situation must be a real pain in the butt JB.

Tom, today has actually been quite pleasant around here.

[tomgallagher]

That situation must be a real pain in the butt JB.

Tom, today has actually been quite pleasant around here.

Maybe she got the hint JB.

[Sooner Steve]

Well it happened again tonight  right there at Famous Daves because her friend was along.  She had called me up to see if I would meet them.....so I figured a small bite, not the big orders that I had been accustomed to.  I walk in and her friend Terri looks up and say's like wow how shinny.  Then my wife goes off, about how pissed she is, as I know now others are listening from other tables.  She then says, "I'm never going to ask you about what to do with my hair then."

Now it gets good.... I look at her right there with others looking on from the Sports Bar.  I said, You know what, you still don't get it, this aint about you, this is not even about what I think your hair should look like and frankly I don't care what you do with your hair.  Color it blue, purple or green.. maybe even like the rainbow for all I care if it makes you feel good, then get it done.  I shaved my goatee for you, and all you can do is still BITCH over my shaving my head.  This is about me and how I feel, not you, not Terri, not anyone else.

I heard some applausing and amens in the background.... but at our table, you could have heard a pin drop.

JB - that took a set of stones my friend.  Great job.  Oh and good luck.

[balddad77]

You have my congrats!  What we do with our hair is not for anyone else!  We do this for us, it is part of who WE are.  My wife loves my SLYness.  She is the one that reminds me everyday to shave it.  So I don't have the nagging wife about my dome. 

Keep the dome going strong!

[schro]

Well it happened again tonight  right there at Famous Daves because her friend was along.  She had called me up to see if I would meet them.....so I figured a small bite, not the big orders that I had been accustomed to.  I walk in and her friend Terri looks up and say's like wow how shinny.  Then my wife goes off, about how pissed she is, as I know now others are listening from other tables.  She then says, "I'm never going to ask you about what to do with my hair then."

Now it gets good.... I look at her right there with others looking on from the Sports Bar.  I said, You know what, you still don't get it, this aint about you, this is not even about what I think your hair should look like and frankly I don't care what you do with your hair.  Color it blue, purple or green.. maybe even like the rainbow for all I care if it makes you feel good, then get it done.  I shaved my goatee for you, and all you can do is still BITCH over my shaving my head.  This is about me and how I feel, not you, not Terri, not anyone else.

I heard some applausing and amens in the background.... but at our table, you could have heard a pin drop.

HOLY SHEET I WISH I WAS A FLY ON THE WALL FOR THAT ONE.
WELL DONE, JB! 

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

Well it happened again tonight  right there at Famous Daves because her friend was along.  She had called me up to see if I would meet them.....so I figured a small bite, not the big orders that I had been accustomed to.  I walk in and her friend Terri looks up and say's like wow how shinny.  Then my wife goes off, about how pissed she is, as I know now others are listening from other tables.  She then says, "I'm never going to ask you about what to do with my hair then."

Now it gets good.... I look at her right there with others looking on from the Sports Bar.  I said, You know what, you still don't get it, this aint about you, this is not even about what I think your hair should look like and frankly I don't care what you do with your hair.  Color it blue, purple or green.. maybe even like the rainbow for all I care if it makes you feel good, then get it done.  I shaved my goatee for you, and all you can do is still BITCH over my shaving my head.  This is about me and how I feel, not you, not Terri, not anyone else.

I heard some applausing and amens in the background.... but at our table, you could have heard a pin drop.

HOLY SHEET I WISH I WAS A FLY ON THE WALL FOR THAT ONE.
WELL DONE, JB! 

amen to that. JB, you got some fist pumps form me my friend! haha.

[PigPen]

I had a similar situation happen after first going SLY. Commented to the wife that I liked the particular hair color she had recently chosen. She said that if I grew my hair back and quit shaving she would keep that color. Told her no way, I do this for me because I like it. No compromising. She has since figured out it's here to stay and not gonna change.

Props to you my friend, for standing up to her and laying it all out there.

[Rusty Shackleford]

Women do this because they always get their way.  You've already surrendered the goatee so you've basically validated her childish and selfish demands, so of course she's going to continue ranting about your head.  Why wouldn't she?  You've already told her that her childish, whiny, tactics works. 

I know numerous guys who give up something irrelevant that they enjoy because it offends their wife or girlfriend.  Whether it's fishing or growing a beard, I've had countless friends who've said "I wish I could do that but my other half won't allow it".

The way the argument always goes is so incredibly ridiculous and offensive:
Female Rant: "A marriage is a partnership and I can't believe you're being so selfish about this by not marching to my demands!" 

In other words, it's selfish for the man to grow a beard or shave his head, but it's not selfish to DEMAND a husband wear HIS hair according to the wife's preference. 


Let's turn the tables a bit:


Has anyone ever heard of a guy who actually likes those claws that women have glued to their fingertips?  "Oh honey, you know I love it when you look like an Iguana!"  Could you imagine what would happen if a man demanded his girl give up those ugly things?  And they're expensive too!  Or what about those artificial, but trendy, haircolors like Koolade red.  I know some men don't like them, but could you see a woman giving up that color because her man demanded it?

  GET ME SOME OF THAT!

And what about those belly shirts?  Could you imagine if a husband demanded his wife stop wearing these attractive things:

I've seen this woman at every mall I've ever been to.

And what about tattoos?  Like men, a lot of women love tattoos and like women, many men find them ugly.  Personally, I have never found a tattoo that has made a woman look more attractive:

Why?  Why-oh-why-oh-for-the-love-of-all-that-is-good- WHY ruin that body?

Whether it's tattoos, hair color, hair style, long nails, or a makeup preference, if a man were to DEMAND his wife or girlfriend abandon their style preference that man would be seen as the total a**hole he is.  If a woman does it, she's being assertive and strong.  Ah, there goes that wonderful gender bias we're told that doesn't exist.

[Bolohead]

I do believe that at least for now, has chosen to back off as my reaction to her comments drew a harsh response.  It has been down right very pleasant around here since.  Rusty I appreciate your opinion, but me thinks you are wrong over the "me shaving my goatee", I had actually been thinking about shaving that off anyway.  With all the grey whiskers in the goatee it made me look years older than I sure feel, so I had been considering it.  My choice of words to my wife for my reasoning of shaving it were wrong and probably made her feel like a win there on that issue.

I know she knows my SBG is here and will be staying with me, as she had been reading the "Bald Guy's" shaving gel tube, as it was down from the shelf and on the counter when I got home last night.  No comments, no jabs - as I said, its been down right pleasant around here.

[Rusty Shackleford]

I do believe that at least for now, has chosen to back off as my reaction to her comments drew a harsh response.  It has been down right very pleasant around here since.  Rusty I appreciate your opinion, but me thinks you are wrong over the "me shaving my goatee", I had actually been thinking about shaving that off anyway.  With all the grey whiskers in the goatee it made me look years older than I sure feel, so I had been considering it.  My choice of words to my wife for my reasoning of shaving it were wrong and probably made her feel like a win there on that issue.

I know she knows my SBG is here and will be staying with me, as she had been reading the "Bald Guy's" shaving gel tube, as it was down from the shelf and on the counter when I got home last night.  No comments, no jabs - as I said, its been down right pleasant around here.

I'm just concerned that things are going OK because she felt outnumbered from that conversation at the Sports Bar, and once that embarrassment wears off she'll be back to her old demands.