Computer Viruses - BEWARE
The George Bush Virus: Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
The John Kerry Virus: Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
The Clinton Virus: Gives you a permanent hard drive, with no memory.
The Al Gore Virus: Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting.
The Bob Dole Virus: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus: Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
The Mike Tyson Virus: Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus: Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus: Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus: Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Michael Jackson Virus: Only attacks minor files.
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus: Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
