Don't know how to proceed... - page 1 -

• Don't know how to proceed... by moonlight on 08 Dec, 2017 02:53
• Hello. I've visited this board a few times in the last six months or so, and I've finally built up the courage to make a post. So, if you're reading this, thank you already for considering my post and for creating an atmosphere that allows me to share this.
  
  I'm 20 years old and have experienced thinning since 17. My sister happened to see a thinning spot one day and brought it to my attention. Ever since, it's grown considerably worse. I've had varying degrees of success at trying to pretend that it a) isn't real, and b) isn't that bad. In the last year or so I've been super self-conscious about my hair to the point that I rather exclusively wear hats in public places, including at college and even at home sometimes. I basically field off any unwanted attention about my odd hat obsession with, "Yeah, I just love hats." Not really - I mean, they're fine, but I'd rather not resort to them everyday. I don't take the chance that a windy day (really, any wind) will mess up any careful styling I've done. I'm embarrassed to admit that my "styling" tends to be in the form of a combover (*gasp*) in which I've carefully groomed some longer hairs on one side over time. It works with the right arrangement, but it's faulty and has me checking and fixing half a dozen times a day at least.
  
  I'm here to get opinions/suggestions on what I should do going forward, because I know I can only keep up this routine for so long before I become completely exhausted, both mentally and physically. It's really taken a toll on my self-confidence and prevents me from social interactions and finding opportunities for myself.
  
  I don't know whether a tight buzzcut or full/clean shave is a better option based on my current hair loss. I've had a particularly tough time finding articles online detailing what amount of hair loss can still look okay with a super short buzzcut. If it's just going to reveal super transparent chunks of bald spots then it may lead me to continue on shaving until it's all gone, but that also seems like the scariest leap for me right now. I've been buzzing my sides and back of my head short and keeping the top long for quite awhile, so to take the risk of cutting it all really short and being displeased with the outcome is frightening.
  
  Another issue I have is that I don't know how my head shape and forehead size will/would contribute to a buzzed look or a clean look. I feel like I have a large head, and forehead especially, so that concerns me with the amount of coverage and the possibility of so many thin spots to show.
  
  Thank you for reading and for any advice you have.
  
  
  
  
• #1 by Zooman on 08 Dec, 2017 09:30
• Well, first of all, welcome to the forum!  If you're looking for opinions and advice on this issue, then you've certainly come to the right place.  My own opinion, based on the pictures you've posted, is that you would look great if you decide to shave your head.  A lot of guys will start with a buzzcut and go gradually shorter, which would look fine too.  We are all very critical of ourselves, but in the end no one else if really going to notice the minor details that we see so clearly on ourselves.
  If you wanted to, I think you could continue with the haircut you have for a while longer.  However, if it's really bugging you, then maybe you've already decided that it's time to try something different.  I can say now that it was not really that big a deal for me, although I do recall that the first day I went to work with a shaved head was a lot harder than I thought it would be!  Now, eight months on, it's just not even an issue anymore.  I would say to go for it.  Shave your head and keep it that way for at least 30 days.  Then if it's not the look you want, grow some hair out again.  It's not a permanent thing.  However, most of us here have found it to be a great thing to be free of our hair - especially if it is causing you more trouble and anxiety than it's worth.  Good luck to you and keep us posted!
• #2 by reddog on 08 Dec, 2017 09:44
• I think you would look great with your head shaved. Keep the beard. Your head shape is good, and your forehead only looks big because of your receding hairline. You have great face features that will look so much better with a bald head. Got a feeling you will get rid of the hats, and show off your new haircut.
• #3 by Magoo on 08 Dec, 2017 10:09
• Only a matter of time , and the combover will no longer suffice. Start with a # 1 or 2 buzz, see how you like it , maybe then try shaving. You could go for either with your good looks.
• #4 by Themightyjuice on 08 Dec, 2017 10:16
• Hi and welcome 💪🏻
  
  You know, I rarely post on here but I read a lot and when it comes up on my social media I generally have a quick peek too. One thing I have most definitely noticed is that sometimes people are always so so quick to say "Just shave it!" "GO SLY!" "You'll not look back". Sometimes I think people are too quick to suggest this as it's a terrifying prospect for some. But in your case... I'd actually do it. Not because I think you have to but because I think you'd ROCK the look. I wouldn't go sly, keep some stubble on there. Your headshape looks great from the pictures you've posted and with the beard or heavy stubble it would be a very strong look for you.
  
  I appreciate it's an incredibly difficult thing to do, a massive change from what's considered your norm. It's a huge change, one you've never encountered before and you're not sure how it'll be received. That's where this forum comes into it's own. You'll always find support and a listening ear for any worries or fears you may have. We've all been in your position at some stage in our lives. I think I'm there just now. I sported the sly/short buzz look to see how it would be and as it happened it was good. People very quickly accepted it and incident really encounter any negative comments. After 6 months I personally decided to grow my hair back as I think it just looks better on me. But the sly/buzzed stage, in a strange way, kinda helped me accept my thinning hair. Ideas able to say to people, 'Yeah, I'm going bald but actually I'm cool with that' And now I'm in a really good place. If and when I choose to do it again (which I know I will) then I can do it with no fear.
  
  Try it for yourself. Give it time, give yourself and those around you time to adjust. Talk freely about it and why you've done it. You'd be surprised how people receive you afterwards.
• #5 by TheodorusRex on 08 Dec, 2017 12:35
• It's time bro... what are waiting for? - the water is fine!      
• #6 by Jordan1991 on 08 Dec, 2017 17:05
• Go for it my friend! It'll look great.
• #7 by Razor X on 08 Dec, 2017 19:38
• I think you would look best shaved but give a buzz cut a try first.  You may be inspired to shave once it’s shorn down or you may want to gradually buzz shorter until you’re ready to go completely smooth.
• #8 by slickjack on 09 Dec, 2017 13:19
• Hi Moonlight.  Thanks for posting.  As others have posted, you are a good looking guy with great features. From your pictures I think you have a great shaped head for a buzzcut or shaved head.  And the fact that you have a nice thick, shaped beard will help too.
  
  I totally get how terrifying it can be to buzz or shave for the first time. I wasn't very brave and did it at the start of a holiday - so at least my hair would have grown back somewhat when I returned to work.  But once I did it, I loved it.
  
  Good luck.
• #9 by bennett11 on 10 Dec, 2017 05:33
• Years ago at your age I kept my hair cut very short buzz.  I gained self confidence that I had the courage to be different.  Happy when I started losing hair and shaved my head, long before this became more common.  So just do it.
• #10 by jgnv on 11 Dec, 2017 08:52
• Do it man! You will look good!
• #11 by Lancslad on 11 Dec, 2017 16:47
• I think you'd look great! No problem at all with the shape of your head! Not just throwing that out either. It only took me a couple of weeks to get used to it myself (it's been three months now). Just long enough for my mind to get used to the image looking back in the mirror and associate it with myself. If you do shave, for your sake it's important to commit to keeping it that way until your mind adapts to it (gets over the shock). Then you can honestly decide whether you like it or not and you seem to have enough hair you shouldn't have trouble growing it back. My comb over came entirely from the side, so I knew once I took the side off, there was no growing it back, since I'd have to wear a hat for a year or two until the side grew long enough. Not a problem with you. I wish I would have done it a few years ago and saved myself the bother of arranging it so no empty spots showed, then always worrying and being careful in the slightest breeze and the lack of confidence that accompanied it. That's no way to live life. No more self conscious feelings now and this weekend I put my head out the car window and told my wife I love to feel the wind blowing past my head!
• #12 by slybeard on 11 Dec, 2017 17:59
• It's time.  You could try a buzz and just go progressively shorter, or go straight to a shave.
• #13 by brannon67 on 11 Dec, 2017 19:37
• Hey, The comb over(comb back) is bogus. Please don't do that again. You would look great either buzzed or clean shaven.(SLY).
• #14 by Cave Dweller on 11 Dec, 2017 23:46
• Hey, @moonlight!
  
  I also started balding at 17. My pattern began at my front hairline. I also tried to hide it for a short time by moving the part and arranging the remaining hairs. By the time I was about your age, I realized my efforts were futile. I also realized that I was about the only person who really took notice of my what was happening on my scalp. Most people did not care, and we’re far more interested in who I was than what my hair looked like.  As Zooman pointed out, we tend to be our own worst critics.
  
  I did not even begin to consider shaving my head until I was 50. My balding had never affected my romantic or my professional life. I never made it an issue for me, so it was not an issue for others. Shaving was something I decided to do just because I was tired of the hair.  I worried for months over whether my head was a bad shape, how others would react, whether I would like it, etc. When I finally put the clippers to my left temple that New Years afternoon and took that first swipe, all my anxiety vanished.
  
  Your head has a fine shape and there is nothing wrong with your forehead. If you want to take your hair down to a short buzz or even a full shave, do it. I think you will look great. Just remember, though, that this is only a hairstyle. What people see is you for who you are far more than what is going on up on your dome.