The OP hasn't posted back in months.. hope all is well with him
Don't feel bad my wife walked on on me after 20 plus years of marriage for a guy that was half her age so I know what it can do for your confidence especially believing in women again. Theb est thing you can do for yourself is take control of your life starting now and do what you feel makes you feel more confident as a man. Be it working out and getting shape, going sly and feeling better about yourself and just getting out there and not being secluded in your home. If you do these things and discipline yourself and first become happy with who you are and realize you are not here on earth to impress anybody that will show your ex what she is going to miss. Women either like confident men or they hate them because they can't control them so either way your good. I spend all my time at the gym and now that I shaved I got some nice compliments from some of the men here that helps improve my self esteem. Trust me, after awhile when your wife see's how confident and self suffcient you've become she will be jealous but tell her..sorry, your loss honey.
I know this is an old post, but it's a comment so common I hear it in real life too. This is what I don't understand. More than half of your adult life was spent in a marriage that ultimately failed. I assume that the quality of the marriage poor if it led to divorce, and you mentioned the divorce itself was miserable. It always floors me how common it is for a man to endure something like this, and how their main goal after getting out is to start the cycle all over again with another woman. Why? How many married men are actually happy? 10%? 15%?
My suggestion is focus on yourself. Put your free time towards things that you value and bring you happiness. Instead of getting hooked up with another middle-aged female that undoubtedly has kids you'd need to raise and the hope that she'll let you have a room in your own house (i.e. the mancave) just skip the woman and focus on friends, family, interests, and hobbies. If a woman does come along make sure she compliments your life instead of dominates your life.
As the saying goes: No wife, No strife.
If you're having confidence problems the last thing you should do is pursue a woman who will exploit that weakness.
I know this is an old post, but it's a comment so common I hear it in real life too. This is what I don't understand. More than half of your adult life was spent in a marriage that ultimately failed. I assume that the quality of the marriage poor if it led to divorce, and you mentioned the divorce itself was miserable. It always floors me how common it is for a man to endure something like this, and how their main goal after getting out is to start the cycle all over again with another woman. Why? How many married men are actually happy? 10%? 15%?
My suggestion is focus on yourself. Put your free time towards things that you value and bring you happiness. Instead of getting hooked up with another middle-aged female that undoubtedly has kids you'd need to raise and the hope that she'll let you have a room in your own house (i.e. the mancave) just skip the woman and focus on friends, family, interests, and hobbies. If a woman does come along make sure she compliments your life instead of dominates your life.
As the saying goes: No wife, No strife.
If you're having confidence problems the last thing you should do is pursue a woman who will exploit that weakness.
They also say , “ Happy wife , happy life.”
My first wife left me for a WOMAN! If I knew she had those tenancies, I wouldn't have married her in the first place. I didn't lose my self confidence because I didn't have a chance with that one. The divorce was long and miserable but it enabled me to eventually marry the woman I've been with for the last 32 years so things seemed to work out. Now if this one takes a hike, I won't marry again.
I was married to my first wife for twenty years. I had a messy divorce as well. Luckily, it enabled me to find my wife, who I’ve been married to for five wonderful years. For anyone out there going through this, keep your head up. Things will get better.