Hi sly compadres,
I just joined this forum yesterday and it's really sucked me in! The whole point of this (pretty long) post is, having been sly at age 22 and then wearing hair systems for 11 years, I'm thinking of going sly again, but I'd really like to get some feedback from anyone who has gone from a hair system to sly - how you did it, the reactions you got, whether you're happy. Basically, I think there's a significant difference between going from MPB to sly, compared with a hair system to sly -- especially given that in the latter case you can't really go back to your previous look (without waiting 6 weeks for the hair to be long enough to wear a system again...)
MY STORY
My story is, I grew up with a strong possibility that I'd go bald (rampant MPB on both sides of the family
) but before seeing this forum I've never viewed it as possibly a positive thing. I just dreaded MPB for years and it basically ruined my late teens and entire college experience, and has cast a shadow over my life since (if that sounds dramatic, I'm sure a lot of people here know what I mean).
I started losing my hair at 17, used Toppik for a few years, and then finally went sly with a shave at age 22. At the time I felt I had no option, and my older brother had already taken the step. Initially, I felt free - no more Toppik, no looking at my hair, and I got quite a few compliments. But I just didn't feel like myself - I had had great hair until the MPB, and I found it impossible to adjust to the new look. I had just graduated with a law degree and felt like the sly look didn't fit who I wanted to be, or even who I was. I was also pretty shy and very sensitive to criticism or jibes back then. I just wanted to fit in and didn't have the confidence to stand out. To top it all off, I was very skinny and am naturally very pale, which didn't help - I genuinely looked like a cancer patient if I was a tired, sick or hungover, for example...
SO, I ended up getting a hair system. Initially horrific looking, by my late 20s I knew every trick in the book and had a great look, and my confidence was riding high for years as I felt more in control (although it was bloody expensive and had a host of problems). But at age 32 I moved from Ireland to Scotland and everything started to go wrong with the system - bad moulds, bad cuts, bad attachments. I've gone from it being a minor inconvenience in my life to really a major preoccupation. This summer has been the worst - I had a new system destroyed by a stylist here, and it looks so crap I've found my confidence shattered - I've had 3 visitors to see me in the past 4 weeks, and the system meant I found it impossible to enjoy myself - I put up a good front, but I'm sure they could tell something was wrong. I had been looking forward to this summer, but it's been ruined, basically. I'm starting to think more and more about so many holidays and other times that have been ruined by the system looking like crap, and seeing how much it rules my life.
CAN I GO SLY AGAIN?
After spending this weekend looking for alternatives to the system I have, I found this site and started asking myself - CAN I GO SLY AGAIN? I haven't even considered this as an option for the past 11 years, which has been compounded by the fact that my 2 brothers sport the sly look, but they don't seem very happy about it [[[- although it's hard to tell what is really eating their confidence as neither has been successful professionally (yet), but both are very successful with the ladies (one is engaged, the other has constant attention and no less than 3(!) beautiful girls have told him they are in love with him in the past 18 months - but I digress).]]]
PROS AND CONS
I've been looking at the pros and cons, to wrap my head around all this:
PROS
1. FREEDOM: I've been a slave to these hair systems for 11 years and I can only imagine what it'd feel like to be free of them - to be able to sleep soundly, swim, work out, go on holidays, go for coffee, go on a date, plan for the future without thinking about the system. And not having to have the bloody system re-done every 4 weeks.
2. REGAINING CONTROL: I've let the systems issue dictate everything from small decisions (e.g. going go-karting) to major life decisions, like whether I move somewhere, breaking up with someone so I don't have to tell them about the system etc. Being back in control would be great.
3. BEING MYSELF: I wouldn't be hiding anything any more, I'd know that I'm not 'duping' dates or holding a secret all the time. And I would no longer look like an anomaly in my family, with 3 bald guys and... me and my luxuriant fake head of hair!
4. MENTAL WELL-BEING: I've suffered a lot of stress from wearing a hair system, and it just needlessly adds to other work and family stresses. It has made me feel extremely depressed at times.
5. LOOKING BETTER THIS TIME: I'm more muscular and more filled out than the last time I went sly, plus I have a proper beard - it could look a lot better this time around, especially if I hit the gym a little harder.
6. COST: Going sly would save me on thousands every year, which I could do something better with: I could put it in my niece's college fund, for example.
CONS
1. SHAVING EVERY DAY: I remember finding shaving my head every day a trial, and I see one of my brothers really hates it. Strangely, if you have a hair system right, you barely have to look at it from one end of the month to the other.
2. NOT LOOKING RIGHT: What if I hate how I look?
3. LOOKING OLDER: I know I'll instantly look older. People generally clock me at about 25 (I've always looked a lot younger than I am), but sly I'll look older. But then, does that matter?
3. CAREER: A big issue is how do I fit the sly look into my career? After my Ph.D I'll be looking for positions with international organisations or government as a lawyer - and will need to look conservative, suit-and-tie etc.
3. REACTIONS: Possibly my biggest issue - if everyone else was blind, I'd be sly all the time
But I remember all the comments the first time around and I'm not sure I can hack it. Usually people are more resilient at age 34 compared to age 22, but due to various things happening since I was 22 I feel inwardly a lot less resilient, even if I'm outwardly more confident.
4. OUTRIGHT MOCKERY: It seems stupid to think about this, but I shudder at the thought of being with my brothers and getting the 'eggheads' jibe, or the whole 'Ming the Merciless' stuff. I don't know why this bothers me so much - sticks and stones, and all that.
But I'm leaning more and more towards just doing it. Part of me is thinking that I have about 9 more months here in Edinburgh (finishing a PhD) and after that I could take a holiday, go sly, take some time out, and start the next phase fresh. I could also just post my new sly look on Facebook and explain my story, and let people (including friends, family, exes) have their reactions online before I meet them again. What do people think of this?? Has anyone done this? Feedback from former hair system wearers particularly welcome
Thanks everyone at SBG - you're all legends!