I think most women do still want to be asked out by the GUY rather than having to do the asking out themselves. I certainly feel that way. But so many guys just either don't have the bawls anymore or they are too distracted...(sometimes by the "cheap women" they can pick up and dump off just as easily rather than having a really meaningful relationship that requires a lot of giving of both the man and lady).
For my own personal reasons, I simply won't go out with just any guy. I'm pretty judicious. But then again, that keeps both of us from having heartbreak.
I believe that's the way God wants it to be. So I put out some hints to the guys I am interested in. I may send a text message or an email, or sit next to the guy in church or at some other event. I'll try to start a little conversation with him and ask what he likes about his job or something he's proud of that he did this week. I'll smile of course. And eventually I'll invite him over for dinner but leave the date and time up to him. If he doesn't get the hint after that and respond with "Yes, I'd like to come over. Let's see...would Saturday work?" then I move on; he's not looking...or at least, he's not looking at me. And I'm not going to chase him...it's his job to come get me.
Location, location, location. Well, a friendly guy at the grocery store can be a real turn-on for me, actually. Why? Because he's being a gentleman during a part of his daily life. Being a gentleman and having a pleasant conversation or maybe helping me with my groceries out to my car (I use a wheelchair and ride with my groceries in my lap so the help is appreciated and shows me he's paying attention to my needs) or helping me reach an item up high that I'd normally have to hook with a banana and hope doesn't fall on my head... yeah, I like that.
I may not go out to coffee right yet but I may exchange email addresses or something, ask him what part of town he lives in and where he goes to church or hangs out during the week.
I think asking for a date to a coffee shop is great. Or getting to know someone at a coffee shop and then saying "So, will I see you here this time next week? Do you mind if I join you at this table?" That shows interest but it's not overly pushy. It wouldn't scare me away. It's not like "Hey, do you wanna come to my apartment tonight and..." to which my answer will always be NO!
If she's a nice woman, she's (IMO) not just looking to get laid or suck you in. She's wanting to know you on a deeper level and you're wanting to know her too. Keep it there for a good while, showing her you're a real gentleman with manners and chivalry to boot, and you'll win yourself more than just a date.
Women want to know they are safe. Men want to know they are successful. This is the secret to men and women. If a woman can show a man that she believes he's doing well in life and can encourage his efforts, praise his work, etc, then he's probably going to like her...right? She builds him up. She helps him feel confident. If a man convinces her that he's always going to be there to back her up, to protect her, to really LISTEN to her (ding ding ding - that's IMPORTANT) and explore her emotions without judging her, and willing to keep her secrets until after the day he dies...wow, for a woman that's a real winner. You can skip the flowers, gents, if you can show her that she's safe with you. And that you're not going to try to push her into a more physical relationship than she's ready for. Let her give you the hints there or just ASK her!
If you do decide to try to brighten her BAD day by asking her out (first of all, that means you've either got bawls or you're just...slow), know that it could go either way. She could up and leave in a puff of smoke. Or she could take it as the highlight of her day and you're on. So with women - we are very emotional beings, after all, not typically driven by logic but more by intuition - just know that it's never going to happen quite the way you anticipated, and that's the beauty and fun of it!
Cheers!
GutsyGirl