Another take on an a previous question - page 1 -

• Another take on an a previous question by baldtribesman on 18 Jul, 2010 11:05
• Guys as most of you know I have a self image problem when I look in the mirror I see an ugly guy staring back,  please again I ask you for the second time, analyze my face how do I look.   I do not need insincere compliments I want a real assesment.  Because quite frankly I have been striking out with the ladies and I feel that if I looked better I would have better experiences with the ladies, I am 36 by the way.  Please offer your candid and truthful analysis.
  
  Thank you
  
  Fred
• #1 by TheSlyBear on 18 Jul, 2010 12:46
• My brutally honest assessment is that it's not your face that is the issue. I'm willing to bet that it's the fact that you don't think your face is fine that's the problem. You are likely projecting that negativity, and that's where the strike outs occur.
• #2 by Tyler on 18 Jul, 2010 12:54
• I agree with BootedBear! 
• #3 by BlackJamesRackham on 18 Jul, 2010 13:02
• agreed. it's all starts with your own perception of yourself and self confidence. so get back out there knowing you're the man 
  
  
• #4 by Mikekoz13 on 18 Jul, 2010 14:26
• I think Bear nailed it but I would add this..... simply.... women love confident, funny, men. Also, even though there is some segment of the American women's population that like men that are more feminine... I still believe that the vast majority of American women prefer men that are more masculine...... and maybe even a little old fashioned in some aspects.
  
  So.......... be confident, humble, humorous, & polite. Also.... show no desperation where women are involved. They can smell desperation on us men as if it were last weeks garbage.
  
  
• #5 by Razor X on 18 Jul, 2010 14:50
• Quote from: baldtribesman on 18 Jul, 2010 11:05

  Guys as most of you know I have a self image problem when I look in the mirror I see an ugly guy staring back,  please again I ask you for the second time, analyze my face how do I look.   I do not need insincere compliments I want a real assesment.  Because quite frankly I have been striking out with the ladies and I feel that if I looked better I would have better experiences with the ladies, I am 36 by the way.  Please offer your candid and truthful analysis.
  
  Thank you
  
  Fred
  

  
  Here's a candid analysis -- beating yourself up over your appearance is not productive.  We can all make ourselves look better by the way we dress, cut our hair, keeping in shape, etc., but the rest is more or less beyond our control.  So people may give you the "real assessment" you seek, but then what?  What are you going to do about it?  We look the way we look.  Do what you can to look your best and let it go at that.
• #6 by reb123161 on 18 Jul, 2010 15:28
• BEAR is correct!  I have ALWAYS been 2nd fiddle to my best friend so far as looks are concerned...he is a handsome dude---NOT tooting my own horn, but, I ALWAYS had more gilrs, women, chicks....etc......He will be the first to tell you this.  IT IS CONFIDENCE---not made up CONFIDENCE---it is what you are---or become through what you have experienced or how YOU GROW!  My brother, you have what it takes----it is what is in your head and not what is on it that makes the  last mile.  
  
  I let the hair "situation" hold me back from a lot of things I enjoyed--ie, water skiing, diving, having to have an HOUR to get my hair ready to do some things...NO LONGER.  Be yourself---be strong, be understanding, be happy.  You are a nice looking guy---Try a smile and an upbeat attitude and face the world as YOU!  You can do it, my brother.
• #7 by buddha on 18 Jul, 2010 15:58
• OK, when I look at your photo I see a guy with a friendly face and smile, not ugly or creepy.
  With regard to your posts I get the impression that I am reading something written by a guy who has a thirst for knowledge and wisdom. Not only do you ask the questions but you listen to the answers. I also think that you are intelligent on a different level than I or most people I am acquainted with.
  So far so good.
  One point that I have to mention has to do with what is going on in your photo. Specifically the Star Trek thing with your left hand. Don't get me wrong, Star Trek was and is a great show (the Shatner/Nimoy years, I've never seen the new ones). It's OK to love that show. It's normal.
  Me, I'm a big Eastwood/Dirty Harry fan. If I were single today and went out somewhere and met a woman and started a conversation and suddenly dropped "Go ahead, make my day" or "do you feel lucky, punk?" on her do you suppose that I would have much success after that? Maybe, but she would either have to be a GIANT Eastwood fan or I would have to BE Clint Eastwood. And since I'm not Clint Eastwood I would be a cheap knockoff and she would know this and that's when things would start to get creepy. But if she is a major fan of Eastwood we have something in common that might lead me to what it is I seek.
  Do you follow my drift?
  Look for women with whom you feel comfortable being you. If you have to keep an important part of who you are hidden then the relationship is built on a lie by omission. Lie to no one, brother. Just find the right people to hang with.
• #8 by timetobeme on 18 Jul, 2010 20:17
• I think the sly brotherhood has nailed it.  Start looking at the inside and beginning by liking what you are seeing and then the rest of the world will start responding.  Keep your chin up!
• #9 by Sgt. Pate on 18 Jul, 2010 20:20
• Dude, you are not ugly and I think you know it.  The bear is right! 
  
• #10 by johnnyo on 19 Jul, 2010 07:59
• I don't see anything wrong with you, I think your knocking yourself down for no reason. You need to start feeling good about yourself. Instead of looking for the bad, turn it around and look for all the good qualities you have. Each day just write down something good about yourself and say it over and over to yourself all day. Eventually you will get to love the guy looking at you in the mirror. Avoid the negative and look instead for the positive in everything and everyone. You'll feel better.
• #11 by Stu on 19 Jul, 2010 09:54
• Have to agree with all the gents here.  Take their comments to heart, and if that doesn't work, be grateful that you don't have my ugly mug instead!  
• #12 by D.A.L.U.I. on 19 Jul, 2010 10:10
• The guys are dealing w/ you as you requested, you're not ugly, not pretty either--but then would you want to be "pretty?"  Seriously, a man's appearance, provided he's otherwise physically clean and dressed appropriately, don't seem to affect their luck w/ the ladies.  Examples abound, but some notables whose way with the fairer sex is a historic fact--Ben Franklin for example.  Absolutely horrible in appearance, he had a skullet before Jesse Ventura, but his effects on women are part of history, French, English and American.  He even gave advice to others on their relationships w/ women.  Take a look at his Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745), http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html.  Casanova wasn't anything much to look at from the records either.  Get the picture? 
  Women really get into the "relationship" men get into sex.  Learning how to answer their needs while working toward ours is done by getting out of ourselves.  It's tricky, but the process can be fun if you let it.  Remember, everyone likes to talk about themselves, and for the man, it means concentrating exclusively on her.  She'll love it when she's the object of the conversation. 
• #13 by TGB1 on 19 Jul, 2010 10:31
• Brutally honest? OK! Reading your post I want to find you and kick you in the ass! Come on Brother, stop fixating on yourself and what you think you look like. Concentrate on what you have and not what you think you don't have.
• #14 by Professor Melon on 19 Jul, 2010 22:01
•   The Bros have it right, especially Bootedbear and Razor X. I see a friendly guy. You might let the goat grow in a bit more--and smile. Professor Melon