The ever negative eye

[Argyle]

Sorry I seem to be the serial thread starter today, but hey who cares, you guys are all only just waking up so someone has to eh? 

I have been reading quite a few posts today.  I have always had bald issues, still do to a large extent but am working through them.  Not sure how I cam across it, but I came across a picture of Evan Handler today, the guy from Sex and the City.  I was sitting there thinking that is a guy who can really carry off being sly, but then I got thinking some more. 

What is it I have always had problems with about being sly? 

1)  Well firstly headshape - a bit elongated, pale on photos, almost square.  hang on, his head shape is almost identical to mine.

2)  Shadow, I dont mind having it but wish it were either less or more, it sort of hovers half way up my head.  Hang on his is the same as mine! 

3)  Face, I am not chiselled like some, i see a flat almost awkward face on my head.  Yes you guessed it, his is very similar. 

Yet taking this things into account, I look at a picture of myself and think OMG the vision of hideousness.  I take a look at Evan with his wife http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/AtQBb68mkEK/Evan+Handler+Wife+Elisa+Atti+Take+Stroll+Santa/pWtnWDCAyY0/Evan+Handler and just think there is a guy from TV with his wife!

The point I am making is that we are all self critical, me more than most, shaving your head highlights those flaws, probably in the main to yourself.  Yet, I can look at another guy with all the perceived flaws I have and think, he looks great!

I am sure that this is a phenomenon that everyone has when they see a photo or hear a recording of their voice, but baldness allows us to attribute in someway something more profound to it and attach much more significant and negative connotations.  Afterall the producess of Sex and the City obviously saw fit to cast him as the husband of a rather hot actress.

[ozzie]

An astute observation, Argyle. We most definitely are our own worst critic.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Your "critical" always seems pointed at the sly you.  Do you have and have you recently reviewed your pictures before sly when thinning and receding hairline was the issue?
That's your reference point, not what other guys' scraped grapes look like.  I'm sure that I could point out several "gleamers" here that I would prefer to have, but I like mine--and I like it all the more compared to what was there on September 6, 2007--when I buzzed.  October 12, 2007 freed me from these problems.  
 Personally, I am not any prize to look at, but IMO--that's the one, me, that counts--I look much better w/o the thinning hair and the "six"head.  I'm so sensitive about those old pictures, I really do all I can to avoid looking at them or having them anyplace anyone else can either.  Now the wife--she likes the days when I had hair--even the dying mop, and, hold on, she even adds, "dignity!"  How can it be dignity to have more scalp than hair--and we won't even go where it looked like in a pool or at the beach, the few times I would get the thing wet on purpose!.  

[Argyle]

I think you are probably right, and in fact that post wasnt really supposed to come across as self critical, it was more a general point that when people question how they do or will look sly, it is often those insular comparisons that create frames of reference. 

On a personal note.  Yes I prefer sly to balding there is no doubt about that.  Funnily enough I had a look at my passport yesterday as I needed photo ID for something.  It expires next year so it is almost ten years old now.  The funny thing is that the things I dont like are there in that pic too, I had hair, but everything else is the same.  It also made me think back to when I was with a girl who was a portrait artist.  If I ever sat still for more than about 20 seconds she would have her paints out.  Strangely she always wanted to paint my profile, which is the bit I have always hated, yet when you are in your most self critical moments it is these details that evade your consciousness. 

So in summary, sorry the post wasnt supposed to be a self centred seeking of reassurance, it was more a general point and realisation that in terms of looks, most people are not that unique, but when you see others you rarely or some rarely judge with the same level of critical evaluation.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

it was more a general point and realisation that in terms of looks, most people are not that unique, but when you see others you rarely or some rarely judge with the same level of critical evaluation.

And in a like fashion, I used your experience and self perception  only as a concrete  example of a general issue.  I think that it applies to a large number, probably an overwhelming majority of the mpb guys here, and even to some of the bbc guys.  And, I dare say, even the ladies are aware of every fault too--my wife has purchased enough expensive nostrums to fight off aging short of a face lift I can conceive of--and I really don't want to think of the cost, much less on a per ounce basis .  It's that self critical attitude the vendors of such stuff tap into to sell their stuff I think.

[mangosink12572]

 Argyle - - -This guy Handler or Sandler  looks old enough to be your grandfather  - -

I am sure you are better looking than that

[JOE-91]

I think he pulls off sly pretty good too, the only thing I would say is he's quite pal. His head shape is near perfect in my opinion which really does it for him.

[Mikekoz13]

This is a simple problem to fix. Instead of being you own worst critic, become your own biggest supporter. For instance, I have no problem letting people know that I'm absolutely stunning! If they don't think so.... not my problem.