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If Santa answered his mail honestly..... by bmwgsa on 27 Dec, 2006 17:30
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Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
Yeer.
yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody.
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they??
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do??
Love Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set
you up with a Barbie.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys??
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas, where I
spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping your house.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging sh*t may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in
a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa -
#1 by PBurke on 27 Dec, 2006 17:50
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that's funny right there. don't care who ya are.
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#2 by ar3inc on 27 Dec, 2006 18:17
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Stealing more material from Larry the Cable Guy, Paul?
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#3 by PBurke on 27 Dec, 2006 18:21
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he is my hero. haha
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#4 by Johnny on 27 Dec, 2006 18:38
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Git-R-Dun!!!!!!
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#5 by ar3inc on 27 Dec, 2006 18:45
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He and Ron White just crack me up everytime.
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#6 by Tyler on 27 Dec, 2006 18:47
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#7 by ar3inc on 27 Dec, 2006 18:49
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lol!!! Now that's funny I don't care who you are. Great picture, Tyler.
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#8 by BaldRob on 27 Dec, 2006 18:50
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Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
Yeer.
yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
Paul, I can't believe you signed someone else's name...
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#9 by ar3inc on 27 Dec, 2006 18:55
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You know I was wondering about that, but I didn't think he would stoop so low.Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
Yeer.
yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
Paul, I can't believe you signed someone else's name... -
#10 by PigPen on 27 Dec, 2006 20:34
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You know I was wondering about that, but I didn't think he would stoop so low.Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
Yeer.
yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
I send you a frickin book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
Paul, I can't believe you signed someone else's name...
Does that mean the rest of us get the Space Ranger? I want a Buzz Lightyear
