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Giantsly? by Giantsly on 21 Dec, 2007 01:15
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Hi guys. New member debating the move to sly. Since it's my first post, I want to share my story, since I've been reading your posts and have had the pleasure to get to know a bit about some of you. Also, unless I make the transition to sly, I'll keep my name with a question mark to reflect that.
My uncles went bald quick. My first memories of my maternal uncles are of them being bald or very thinning men in their 20s. My dads family each had thick heads of hair until they died in their 80s (and dad in his 50s). Now I'm 27. At 19 I got my basic training haircut and some didn't grow back, so I had a widow's peak. Everyone who sees the pictures of me bald compliments them. Some years later, around 23, I went to a chain-stylist place (Great Clips) for my bi-monthly trim on my high-and-tight that extended beyond my military service. "What guard do you want?" My answer? "1." Didn't know what a 1 actually was, but man it was close! Felt a little drafty in the back, so I went home and checked the mirror to see if the stylist had done me wrong. Nope, I had a thinning vertex. But the close trim landed me dates the high and tight hadn't. Still...I struggled. Every day I thought about my fate as a young bald man. I bought rogaine, but I got got tired of it quickly. Instead, I just worried.
The next three years I'd try and retain the high and tight, move to something resembling a comb-over, then "grow it out" for one last fling, comb it back (bad for the hair I might add) and then cut it short and spike the remaining bangs. I saw pictures that caught my bald spot and I freaked. I went on propecia. I'm still on the propecia so I dunno how well it's helping, but the thinning continues. I found myself too busy over recent weeks to visit the stylist and found that my hair was growing out pretty patchy. Got some new rogaine, and of course it's led to some shedding.
The reason I've been so preoccupied with the hairloss is because I'm a very tall gentleman (6'8'') and have a very long head, much like a watermelon. Tyler, I mean no disrespect when I say it's similar to yours, especially since I found this site looking for suggestions to fight the baldness, and found myself considering your picture with the lovely pregnant woman I assume to be carrying your child. Further, I have an underbite, which I'm currently having corrected (month two of a 3 year process...so I've a while). How I'd look bald has always been the concern. Not the baldness itself.
After finding this site I read others with "baldness cures" pointing out my worst fear: People aren't telling me how unfortunate my baldness is. They really truly judge me on this fact. "Bullshit," I thought. I found a website with a survey suggesting bald men get paid less or men with thinning hair get paid less. It was conducted by a site that sells hair products. Yay. The "research" didn't study the degree of thinning, neither did it separate guys with combovers and horrible styles with the "gracefully thinning." Again, I called bullshit.
Yesterday (Thursday) I went to the stylist and pointed out my vertex. The stylist all-but-refused to trim my hair close because A) It was grown out so long B) I could cover the vertex with my remaining hair C) She was afraid it wouldn't grow back.
My reaction was passive at first, because you can always take more off, but I finally looked up at her and said: "Look, the last thing in the world I want is to hide my thinning. A gust of wind or a hasty groom and I'm just a guy who can't embrace who he is. I loathe combovers (and I do). Besides, it's going to go anyway."
This isn't something I say. I always ask, sheepishly, "is it time to shave it?" And they always laugh and say "no, you've a long way to go yet." After the stylist styled my hair how I wanted it, I checked the back with her mirror: I'm a year or two away from a norwood three. The pattern the baldness will follow is obvious, but the thinning has been diffuse so there's still a good amount of hair. The rogaine shedding exacerbated this a great deal based on a similar viewing two months ago.
The moment stuck with me as I left and went on with my day. If I were to bend down, people will see the spot was thinning. And for the first time in 4 years I couldn't have given a damn. Underbite be damned. Long head or not.
One of the traditions during the holidays is for one uncle to give the other a trim. Not a tradition really, just a convenience thing. Both sport horseshoes and it annoys me. The younger one still has a fringe in the middle of his otherwise bald head and it's just there...an oasis of ten hairs in a desert. Both always joke about the impending baldness the next generation is facing. Hell, I'm the only one with hair left at all. Two of my cousins in their 30s are barren, two in their 20s are as well. It's me, the girls, and some kids in their early teens. Still, the joke is projection of insecurities. I paid attention in psychology.
So all of that is my story, and thank you for reading it. It's good to meet you all.
The resulting question is this: Tuesday when my uncle gets his trim from the other, do I say "me next?" Do I have him shave it as close as he can without irritating and then go home and finish the deed? I know I've had some success associated with the thin cut, but I've never been truly bald. And I find myself wondering if I shave it, if the possibility exists that I'll just introduce new baldness through damaging follicles or nipping hair that was on its way out. In the future, my underbite treatment will make me look much different indeed, to the point that I may even look good bald. But now?
Your feedback is, of course, appreciated. If cursing is forbidden then I apologize in advance and will make corrections where necessary (if able).
Thanks!
Giantsly?
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#1 by PORKY on 21 Dec, 2007 01:59
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WELL BIG GUY< when its ALL said and done, YA gotta be at peace with the man in the mirror !YOU dont seem to be happy with what you have , so try the other way, theres ! advantage ... ya NEVER have to worry about bending over and someone seeing your BALD spot ! Its ALL clean and as far as they know its TOTALLY by choice . Doing it next week with family around MAY be a supportive thing that may be the thing that puts ya over the top ( no pun intendend), ya never again will have to wait to go out because of your WET hair , 10 seconds with a towel and its DRY , never have to worry about riding in a convertabile again with your hair justa blowing all over , or if ya ride a motorcycle no more HELMET HEAD ! If ya have kids, no more worries about getting gum /choclate in your hair !I'm JUST SAYING in the end its gotta be your decision, dont let someone ELSE make it for YOU! soap ti shave it dry it and DONT LOOK BACK !
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#2 by Tyler on 21 Dec, 2007 03:05
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Giantsly, are you my uncle?
I say that jokingly because your description fits him pretty well. He is 6'8", has the same watermelon head as me, and is almost Sly. He buzzes his hair down to a 2.
First off, I can tell you've spent some time on other hair loss sites since you point out terms (vertex, norwood, etc) none of us really care about anymore of ever did care about. The reason for this is that once you go Sly, you have an almost indescribable transformation that tends to make you question why you ever wanted hair in the first place. So, my suggestion would be to JUST DO IT since it sounds like you're at a 1 and that would only take a couple days to grow back. Though, you shouldn't grow it back for 30 days to give you time to find out if you really like it or not.
To speak to some of your other concerns:
Whomever did the survey about bald guys making less money could have been right in regards to average, but like you mentioned, it doesn't account for head shavers versus those that have made different choices on what to do about their baldness. Income, like almost everything else in your life (especially meeting women) is closely tied to your confidence levels, both in your ability to do your job function, and your ability to interact with people. If you don't have confidence when dealing with others because of hair loss, or anything else, then you're not going to win the confidence of those people that decide to pay you more money. It's good to know you called bullshit; this means you're not one of those average guys.
As for your underbite, I'm assuming you have some form of braces with a rubberbands to move your jaw. I had a friend who had the same thing. My advice is to not let yourself think "when this is finally corrected I'll have the confidence I need" because that will just cause you to waste what was some of the most fun years of my life - 27 to 30. I'm 30 now, so I don't know where it goes from here...lol Instead, embrace what you have now and squeeze every drop out of what you have to be the most kick ass guy you can be. Then, when you're underbite is corrected, it will be just one more weapon in your artillery.
So, my final verdict - shave your head and rock what you got.
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#3 by marty22 on 21 Dec, 2007 05:48
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welcome giantsly!
regarding your dental comments; I had jaw surgery in 1987 (don;t know what caused a weird upper shift of my jawbone) and had to sign on for braces at age 34 for 2 1/2 years (clear). Can't tell you how thrilling it was but it was part of the contract. Just make sure your mouth works and with a new smile you will feel good. It's not a cure-all. But bad teeth don;t cut it in today's society. Bald does; teeth do not. -
#4 by PBurke on 21 Dec, 2007 06:21
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welcome giantsly.
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#5 by warhawk on 21 Dec, 2007 09:49
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giantsly....welcome 2 the sly fratenity. glad that ya found us. jump in & join the fun by being an active member of the best site on the internet.
WARHAWK
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#6 by WannaBePadre on 25 Dec, 2007 18:18
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Ugh!
Videotape showing my big bald spot motivated me!
It's easier to plunge in the summer, but I don't regret it at all. -
#7 by ugabulldog on 25 Dec, 2007 18:48
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Of course most folks on here are going to say "go for it" just as most folks on hair loss forums are going to say "cover, regrow, save it." I think that if a guy is severly balding then he will look better shaved but it is all how he "carries" himself. That is why everybody on here loves being sly, it gives them more confidence, the ones it didn't probaly aren't members or sly anymore. I am starting to babble but basically I think you know the answer to your question better than anyone. The only downside if you do go sly in the winter as Padre says, it stays white longer. Best of luck either way.
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#8 by Giantsly on 27 Dec, 2007 05:22
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Thanks for all that beautiful feedback. I was wondering why I didn't receive any responses, but I guess turning on email notification helps, huh?
I went home for just a few days and when I spoke with my mom and aunt over lunch, they seemed uncomfortable with me even broaching the topic. Mom gave me advice on how to cover it up and said thinning is "cute" as are horseshoes. I rejected that. Like I said, unless I'm going to be captaining a starship, no horseshoes. I also ran into a cousin that went bald around 20. He wears a baseball cap. Refused to let me see his dome. I pointed out my thinning spot and told him I planned to go "sly" and he asked, "why?" There's this strange association with baldness as failure. Can it be? It strikes me that the failure is in the perception.
Funny enough, when I styled this newer and shorter haircut even I couldn't tell I was thinning except for the back and even then, it'd be completely acceptable to just let it go since nothing is bare, just a bit thin.
I decided, however, that I didn't want to be asking myself "is it too thin now?" I hate checking the back of my head and critiquing myself. Not to be a fatalist, but I realized that when you're asking youself "is it time now" that it's time already. I ended up not attending the family Christmas, but I've a friend that is quite handy with the clippers, and he gave me the sly treatment. Then he watched (with amusement) as I shaved my head. I've a nifty clear scar up top from banging my head into some low ceilings as a kid.
Anyway, I'm sly now! My facial hair grows incredibly fast, so even a daily shave won't conceal the pattern, I don't think. I've opted to keep using the rogaine (much easier to apply without hair..stings a bit though) and propecia, because I don't want to have the attitude that "there's no turning back." I want it to be a choice. And I rather like knowing that if I don't like this that, in a month, I'll have lost nothing. I hate those "no turning back" decisions because I find people just wish they could turn back. I like resolve.
As to the underbite, I do have the clear braces. And having an underbite messes with your grill something fierce. I'll get the veneers and all that wonderful crap when it's feasible. I've some time left for that.
Tyler: Good call on the "waiting until x" because x is never good enough. Before I was even thinning I told myself "when I get the underbite fixed, THEN I'll be confident." Crazy enough, I had some stunning women in my life about that point. All of them thought I was great looking. Know what killed it for 'em? Listening to a grown man bitch about his appearance. I don't do anymore. If a guy can't take pride in himself, how can he know what he wants out of anything, especially a significant other? Things I've learned in my twenties.
Oh, as far as I know, I'm an only-child. Not that I'd mind being your uncle. In fact, he sounds kick ass if only by virtue of comparison
Lastly, yeah, Uga, I have to admit, coming to a website where men take pride in shaving their dome and asking "should I...?" is like begging the question. But hell, if I look at my first post, I already had my answer. I spent my upperclassmen years preparing for grad and post-grad in clinical psychology. That means performing therapy. And you know what i learned in those two years that sent me packing from the field: It was bullshit. Most people had the answers already, and they didn't need me. They needed to confront themselves and get a grip on reality (I say most with respect to impairments in neurophysiology). And that's kind of what I needed. Besides, there's plenty of places reinforcing this notion that baldness is an illness, so a different take was just what I needed. Bearing that, you're absolutely right, I know what I needed. Heck, I didn't see this until after I'd went sly. The mind is strange, but the responses do me much more good post hoc.
So thank you for them. It'll be a pleasure spending time on this site.
Giantsly(!!)
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#9 by WannaBePadre on 27 Dec, 2007 08:47
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Welcome to the brotherhood, Giantsly.
Sounds like a great self-Christmas gift! -
#10 by joergHH on 27 Dec, 2007 10:34
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Welcome Giantsly!
Great posts. Enjoy your new look - a good start for 2008!
J -
#11 by Tyler on 27 Dec, 2007 12:09
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Giantsly, glad you were able to take the next step and shave your head. How was your confidence immediately after shaving? How is it now?
As for Rogaine and Propecia, I can understand wanting to continue the treatments until your completely sure about your recent action of shaving your head. Just make sure you give your head shave 30 days to really set in to see how you like it.
Now it's time to head out in the world and show everyone how kick ass your new look is! -
#12 by tomgallagher on 27 Dec, 2007 17:09
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Welcome to the group Giantsly.
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#13 by Giantsly on 28 Dec, 2007 08:15
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Giantsly, glad you were able to take the next step and shave your head. How was your confidence immediately after shaving? How is it now?
As for Rogaine and Propecia, I can understand wanting to continue the treatments until your completely sure about your recent action of shaving your head. Just make sure you give your head shave 30 days to really set in to see how you like it.
Now it's time to head out in the world and show everyone how kick ass your new look is!
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that worries are irrational. So when I shaved my head, it was as a done deal. The watermelon head concern comes to mind. I had a big ol' 6'8'' sized head before I shaved. So shaving changed nothing except that it was there for the world to see, sans thinning cover. All-in-all, I have to say my confidence didn't change, but my day seemed much fuller. I'd spent every day for the last 4 years feeling my head, checking my "spot." I did it a few times yesterday, felt scalp, and haven't done it since. I'm in great shape, so I picked a perfect time to do this. Appreciate the support, for sure.
Must admit, the first time you hit the pillow with a shaved head it feels...great! Wind on a bald head feels great. A woman's hand on your bald head feels great.
The one question I do have is about the uneven tone. My head is much whiter than my face. I smoked when I was younger and wasn't religious with the sunscreen until recently. I'm curious how (or if) I can bring that youthful glow back to my face. Any product suggestions or tips?
GS
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#14 by Tyler on 28 Dec, 2007 11:00
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Check out our shave routines and apply a similar routine to your face. Many of us exfoliate our face and head before shaving. It's never too late to start using sunscreen.