Hey,
I've posted a few times around here, I've gone sly for the better part of a year and have been half-trying to grow my hair out into a long clipper cut (#8 on top, #4 on sides). For months I can never get close, because once I grow more than a #3 or so the hair just intrinsically irritates me. I live in Brazil, where summer is just beginning and in my city the heat index is often 100-110F (AC is also a 'luxury good' here). My main reason that initially drove me to shave my head was a diagnosis of sebborheic dermatitis, which still flairs but it seems to get worse as my hair gets relatively longer (context: 18 months hasn't been longer than a #4 blade). Even at the time I knew the science behind the shaved-head remedy for derm seb wasn't 100%, and my dermatologist was skepticaly, but I legitimate like having a shaved head - at no point I felt it a sacrifice (except seeing family for the first time). Any amount of hair, however, now bothers me, and I've been on/of buzz/shave for the last 6 mo or so.
So now, I was trying to settle on a non-head-shaved hairstyle that wouldn't aggrivate my derm sep, would look professional but still feel light. I admit that, aesthetically, a #4 on top and #1 to 2 fade on the sides looked great. I decided to try a shorter cut to see how that would work (#1 top, #0 sides, mentioned in other post) and my wife flipped. She was never a fan of the shaved head, but was warming up to a buzzcut. She told me no haircut for a month, so I shaved my head with a razor as a statement that she has no say over how I choose to present myself.
I totally assumed I would just let things grow back to at least something like a #1 to have token hair (derm sep yes, MPB no) but damn I like how a smoothly shaved head feels. And I'm completely aware that I am more conventionally attractive, less threatening, more professional with the #4 fade.... and I think that a #1 would be sufficient for any controling factors for derm sep.... and shaving my head every other day is a pain in the ass..... Shaved head may be less 'sketchy' than a short buzzcut, for example.
I'm unemployed and looking for a job as a teacher or on a political campaign in a horrible recession - the way I see it, I should try to stick out, etc.
But the negative stereotypes are similar to the US - uncommon, but some assume neonazi, others convict.
My wife clearly doesn't like it, and I know she's warmed up to my shaved head over the past few months, but she was riding on the hope that it was just a phase. People I know don't say to me directly that they think I look better with longer hair, but the implications are there. Better looking people get higher salaries, etc.
So I don't know what to do. I could go forward with the plan of a buzzcut or a crewcut, or take advantage of this opportunity to keep it sly for a while again. Thoughts? What to do with the Mrs.
I am not sure how you want to go with this as for as keeping the wife happy. But it sounds like you would like to end up with a shaved head and your wife's approval. So, two suggestions:
1. Keep is shaved and hope your wife grows to accept or like it.
2. Go back to buzzing. Gradually, over time, reduce the length of the buzzing.
I'd say keep it shaved to help with the irritation.
I have a similar issue with the seb dermatitis, except mine returns after 5 or 6 days of growth. Sure, I know most people like how I look with hair, but I decided I have to be the one to decide my hairstyle. Of course, I'm single, and gave up looking for a gal.
Don't know what to tell you about your wife. When I first shaved my head, my s/o at the time loved it, then liked it, then said it was ok, then decided she didn't like it. Not sure how much a bald head had to do with the split. You might consider some kind of compromise.