In the old Soviet Russia, Boris and his wife, Natasha, were walking down a dark street in Moscow one cold winter night. They both were chilled to the bone.
Boris looked up upon feeling something wet on his face, and complained, "This just is wonderful. Now it is starting to rain."
His much more optimistic wife responded, "No, Boris, I think this is snow!"
"No," Boris replied sullenly, "it is rain."
The two argued for a short time while continuing their walk when Boris spotted someone he knew coming toward them on the other side of the almost deserted street.
"Look," Boris said. "There is Rudolph Brezhnekov with the party's weather bureau. Let us ask him."
"Comrade," Boris shouted to the man, "tell us whether this is rain or snow."
"It is most definitely rain," Brezhnekov called back before turning a corner down a side street.
"Well," sniffed Natasha. "I still think this is snow."
Her husband turned to her and chided firmly, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Merry Christmas, gentlemen!
May this be the worst thing you experience this season!
"Schastlivogo Rozhdestva!" (Merry Christmas in Russian)
LOL I heard that one years ago, but it's still funny. Merry Christmas to all the sly folks out there, may your holiday season be safe, healthy and...above all... SMOOTH!
I like my Scotch and my head to be the same...smooth!
Good one
I'll have to tell that one Christmas Eve.
Groan! I heard that one a long time ago but had forgotten it. And now, my favorite joke from the Soviet-Union time period (joke takes place in the late 1960s):
The Commissar of Moscow decided to borrow a little Western imperialist decadence, in order raise some revenue, bring more young people into the Party, and distract Muscovites from their dismal lives. So, he proposed to open up Moscow's first topless bar! The operating plan was submitted and approved, an old building was renovated, lots of vodka and food were ordered, and the dancers were hired. A month or so after the place opened, the Commissar came by to visit.
He asked the manager, "So, comrade, how is it going with the topless bar?" The manager answered, "Frankly, comrade, not so good. Nobody seems to be coming here. You can look around and see how empty the place is."
The Commissar said, "Hmm, this will not look good in my report to the Politburo. We have to figure why this isn't working. Tell me, comrade, maybe the vodka is not good?"
"No, we ordered the finest vodka in all of Moscow."
"Perhaps the food was is not good?"
"No, comrade, I am connected to a comrade who supplies us with the highest quality steak."
"Well, perhaps the dancers are not good enough?"
"Oh no, comrade, you don't have to worry about the girls! We did thorough background checks on them. Their characters are absolutely spotless. In fact, they all have been loyal Party members since the 1920s!"