I first noticed my receding hairline at 18. It didn't bother me much at first, and i figured it was due to that horrible accutane I was taking at the time, so I didn't think much of it. Months after getting off of accutane, I was still losing hair. I blame accutane for sparking it so early, but my genes and anxiety ridden monkey mind really set the stage I feel.
Anyway I went to the dermatologist around that time (same one that gave me the accutane), he took one look at my head and said "Sorry, male pattern baldness." Gave me some brochures, offered me a script for propecia, and sent me on my merry way.
Shaving your head is about honesty, right? So i'll be honest here: I cried like a little girl while driving home. Life had been so ****ing hard for me until senior year of highschool. I felt I was finally coming together and figuring sh*t out. (I was plauged by the same anxious thoughts all kids have going to school, but I did not respond to them well which lead to more anxious thoughts, bad coping skills and drug abuse). Now sh*t was about to get even worse. Again, being honest, I'm a good looking guy but I'm very short. Despite my vertical handicap I draw attention from women of all ages. Because I had so many issues going on inside, my outward appearance was important to me and it was the favorable looks from the opposite sex that kept me going many times.
Fast foward a few years later, here I am at 22 with even less hair. I've since discovered Buddhism and religoin, and it's helping me immensely with issues that have plagued me my whole life. Still though, my hair looks awful at times. I like to think I've accepted my hair-loss, but not entirely. I really, really want to buzz it all off (not shaven, but maybe a 1 or a 0 with the clippers) and be done with it, but I am VERY afraid that it will reveal a horshoe shape on my head and instantly age me 5-10 years. I'm not ready to look 30 yet.
Here are some pics of the top of my head:
http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac80/jimboob412/IMG_00581.jpg http://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac80/jimboob412/IMG_00601.jpgThe first is how I try to keep it, but where I go to school is very windy, and when it's longer it can end up looking like pic number 2. The second pic I pushed my hair around to reveal the extent of my loss.
My question is, will buzzing my head leave just the thin line of thick hair in the middle as a dark shadow in the middle of my head? Or will it all even out? I don't care if my hairline is a bit receded, I just dread the horshoe look. I had a co-worker who too the plunge, I'm not sure how low he went, but the horshoe was really obvious and it looked pretty bad IMO. He's since grown it back out and wears a hat.
PS. I know my hairloss isn't as bad as many, but I'm tired of dealing with it and wanting to literally fight the wind. I'm just worried this is too drastic a step thats going to make it look worse than it has to at this point. I guess thats my question, will buzzing it make it look worse than it has to?