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anxious about a parental visit next week by frank_m on 21 Jun, 2007 17:27
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I know this has been addressed before, but I guess I'm looking for some 'responses'.
I went sly on June 4, so this is quite new to me.
I still have a full head of hair, and my father knows that... ( he does too )
I've been keeping a #2 fade for the past 7 or so years, so they are definately used to me have 'short' hair..
about a year ago, I got a call from my step mother & father (they live in Florida) about my brother, who was still living with them.
I guess he went in to the shower out by the pool and emerged a little while later sly, and he had a white head. they were pretty upset about that... i think also because he was going through some depression issues at that time, so they thought it was 'self destructive / mutilation'
anyways, they are vacationing in Maine and we are heading up next Thursday for the weekend.... they have no idea that I've gone sly, and I'm getting that pit feeling in my stomach about it..
my father is quite 'old school', now I'm going to be 37 in 2 months, so I can make my own decisions.. but feelings like this bring me back to my childhood and that 'feeling' when you know you've done something that doesn't make your father mad, but it makes him "disappointed"
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#1 by Blagadan on 21 Jun, 2007 17:31
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Dude, you're 37, why the need to worry?? I'm not trying to make little of your concerns, I just don't understand the problem. It's only your hair, it's not like you've had a sex change
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#2 by frank_m on 21 Jun, 2007 17:38
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I hear you 100%, I guess it's that pit in the stomach that I get when I know there's going to be "disapproval" from my father..
you know that feeling you would get before the first day of school ?
regardless of my anxiety over it, I'm keeping the head sly, and I'm still going and I don't really care what he has to say! -
#3 by jusbnme on 21 Jun, 2007 17:42
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If you are really worried about the shave issue then you could always break the ice by telling them you got a sex change.
J/K bro. But seriously, don't worry. People are always going to have their own opinions. Even parents. The way I explained it to everyone was that I feel better with my head shaved like this and that's really all that matters. If you are a good guy and even more, a good son then they will love you no matter what. Even if their initial reaction is a bad one.
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#4 by Paul on 21 Jun, 2007 17:45
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It is quite common Frank to be anxious when meeting family and friends for the first time after going sly, especially when those important people are more conservative or do not deal well with change. As a BBC guy with a full head of hair, I have been where you are and know how uptight you can feel. But I found my fears were really unfounded. Yes there might be some remarks about why you did it and are you going to keep it that way. But if you feel good about who you are as a sly guy, then the only answer to those comments or questions should be.."Because I wanted to...it is who I am and it makes me feel good about myself." Show the same confidence to them that you have shown in other situations and they will come around when they see how great being sly is for you. Good luck.
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#5 by PBurke on 21 Jun, 2007 18:20
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when they ask "WHY" you did that. you could always just get a real sinister grin and say ".....cause the voices told me to." it would take the attention away from your bald head. might land you in a padded room, but nobody would remember that you went sly. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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#6 by SLYinKC on 21 Jun, 2007 18:43
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Frank, I just went through this situation this last weekend and "Yes" I was also very nervous about. It turned out to be another non-event. There were a few joking comments, but I think if you come across as confident about yourself and your appearance, they will respect your decision and it probably won't be as big of a deal as you're expecting.
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#7 by Razor X on 21 Jun, 2007 19:09
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Dude, you're 37, why the need to worry?? I'm not trying to make little of your concerns, I just don't understand the problem. It's only your hair, it's not like you've had a sex change
No matter how old you are, parents have a way of making you feel guilty if you do something other than what they expect you to. Believe me, Irish mothers are experts at it, as you should know, Blagadan.
But in the end, it comes down to the fact that you are an adult and entitled to make your own decisions. The first few minute are awkward, but it soon passes. Good luck.
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#8 by warhawk on 21 Jun, 2007 19:18
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frank.... i was in the same situation as w/ many sly brahs(when i went sly). i was definitely nervous @ 1st but like slyinKC..... it turned out 2 be a noneventful issue w/ my parents. they(parents) have embraced my new look and i'm sure yours will....2. anyways.... just go in there w/ your confident sly self and it will b ALL GOOD!!!
keep it SLY,
WARHAWK
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#9 by frank_m on 21 Jun, 2007 19:43
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thanks for the advice everybody!
I know i'm not alone here, but my father just has a way of making me feel like i'm 7 years old again sometimes.
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#10 by Sooner Steve on 21 Jun, 2007 20:50
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Frank. I really can't add anything other than best wishes. I think if you just laugh off any unwanted comments it will go fine. Good luck.
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#11 by kodakjlowe117 on 26 Jun, 2007 20:32
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When I shaved my head, no one knew I was thinning. So it was a complete shock to everyone. I found out pretty quickly who were the ones that liked me for what I looked like and who were my friends regardless of how I chose to look. Your parents are your parents. They'll love you regardless. Sex change/hair change/ body oder/ it doesnt matter... they won't change the way they feel about you because you changed your look. Hope this helps. (
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#12 by Kajun on 26 Jun, 2007 22:38
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frank...if they freak out just sit them down and explain to them that you like it this way and explain to them that its becoming acceptable in the younger generations and its not just for racist,sick people and criminals anymore.....if you were thinning, explain to them that you did it to help you deal with going bald and tell them about the positives you've experienced......the older generations don't understand and wont understand unless we explain it to them...they are from a time that it was just not acceptable for any reason...
i'm going back home to Louisiana either tommorow or next day to visit family and friends...i'm really not that nervous..i've told most of them or the ones i give a crap about lol...plus they know i was bald anyway lol..might want to tell them over the phone before they see you in person so its not such a shock to them...it also might be easier to explain and will give them time to accept it....good luck
btw..did you get those cherry anginomas removed? if so..what method cutout or froze off?..i have a couple i got to get removed. -
#13 by Koaa2 on 27 Jun, 2007 08:16
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Good Luck with the visit Frank, it will probably go ok.
Might be a good time to look at why your father makes you feel guilty. If you are both open to it, this could be an opener for some good conversation and getting closer and possibly resolving some issues. -
#14 by frank_m on 27 Jun, 2007 15:46
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btw..did you get those cherry anginomas removed? if so..what method cutout or froze off?..i have a couple i got to get removed.
Not yet, procedure is set for July 10 at 10:15 AM, I can't wait..
I seem to nick one or the other every couple of days, so I feel that I am always dealing with some type of 'scab' on my head all the time,
I will definately post something about the procedure..
it's not really a vanity thing, I've learned to accept them and they don't bother me any nobody every comments on them, it's just the fact that they make shaving quite difficult to get close to them without nicking them.
I didn't realize it the other day, but I had this streak of dried blood running down the back of my head where I had nicked one, I thought it was done bleeding, but it must have sprung a leak some time during the day..