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Saying goodbye to the beard.....for now by Sir Harry on 23 Apr, 2013 03:40
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Hey, guys....first I want to say that the beard in my avatar is inaccurate, I have grown it to roughly 1/4 inch wide and 1/8 inch long. That said, let's get to the point of the thread. Last month, my former stepdaughter, whom I still view as a daughter, asked me to go to the High School ROTC ball with her. I told her (and my ex-wife) that I would go provided that there was no work conflict. The ball is this Saturday, and I am off, but here is/was my dilemma. I was asked to wear my dress blues for the occasion which means that I would have to shave, even though I have been retired since July. I was a little angry at first, because a. my ex can be selfish at times making some bizarre requests and b. It seems that I only hear from my former wife and stepchildren only when they want/need something. (Part of me even wanted to back out altogether, but I do have a conscience) I even asked my stepdaughter could I just wear a suit or tuxedo and she said okay. However after talking to my younger brother, aunt (who raised me) and close friend, I will wear the dress blues on Saturday.) Here are some of the things that was said that was the tipping point:
Brother: If you were still in the Guard, you would have to shave it anyway, right?
Friend: I know you like your beard, but show some respect to the uniform if you're going to wear it.
Aunt: (this may have been the biggest tipping point of all) First, she (my former stepdaughter) thought enough to ask you to go over her biological father which to my aunt spoke volumes. Second, I know you are still kind of hurting about your ex, and would like to stick it to her somewhat, BUT, this is not about you nor your ex, this is about a child. I think that if you can go to a chinstrap for your sister's wedding, you can shave for this occasion. Third, this is an opportunity to show that you can be a bigger man in all of this and remember they did ask you nicely, they could have easily asked someone else but they thought enough of you to ask you over her own father!
All of this having been said, I will go ahead and shave and will go with her to the ball. I can probably regrow a decent beard by my next birthday in July, but I decided to put a positive spin on this. 1. I can start over and grow a beard the way I really want to grow it and 2. I do like wearing the dress blues and the last thing I want to do is embarrass myself or my stepdaughter and most importantly disrespect the uniform, even if I am no longer in the military. So when I shave my head this morning, I think I will go ahead and shave the beard. Two questions for the forum: 1. Have any of you shaved your beard off and mourned about it, or did you think of it as no big deal? and 2. Should I keep the mustache or go entirely clean shaven? FWIW, I have shaved the beard at least three times for weekend drill or annual training and this time shouldn't be any different. Thanks for reading, sharing your thoughts, and allowing me to vent; have a great day, my sly brothers and sisters! -
#1 by Paul on 23 Apr, 2013 04:13
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Go for it Harry, shave and then grow it back. As a retired Marine there have been many occassions when I have had to be back in uniform and my beard had to go. You are dead on, respect is everything. It is actually nice to have the change once in a while.
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#2 by Lynchy on 23 Apr, 2013 04:14
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. Two questions for the forum: 1. Have any of you shaved your beard off and mourned about it, or did you think of it as no big deal? and 2. Should I keep the mustache or go entirely clean shaven?
Condolences re the beard!
1.) Yes, when I shaved mine off. It was on a whim. I deeply regretted it for a long time.
2.) That's exactly what I chose to do, which now lead to my Handlebar moustache. So yeah, I'm a big moustache fan so I say keep it?
You sound like you are being a great man and father by not stooping to that level. -
#3 by slybeard on 23 Apr, 2013 08:14
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Despite the hard feelings, your ex and step daughter still respect you or you would not have been asked. Take it as a badge of honor and yes, it will grow back. The mustache is up to you, so you may want to leave it and decide later if you want to take it off as well.
I have not "clean shaved" for an occasion such as this, but I usually regret trimming due to my own errors. -
#4 by Rusty Shackleford on 23 Apr, 2013 10:27
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Friend: I know you like your beard, but show some respect to the uniform if you're going to wear it.
Wow, no offense but your friend sounds like an ass. It is disrespectful for a retired person in the military to eexpose their military clothing to facial hair? What is wrong with some people? Some people just aren't happy unless everyone else in their world conforms to exactly how they want them to be. -
#5 by Sir Harry on 23 Apr, 2013 10:44
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Friend: I know you like your beard, but show some respect to the uniform if you're going to wear it.
Wow, no offense but your friend sounds like an ass. It is disrespectful for a retired person in the military to eexpose their military clothing to facial hair? What is wrong with some people? Some people just aren't happy unless everyone else in their world conforms to exactly how they want them to be.
In defense of my friend, I was telling him that I was thinking of wearing the uniform, but not shaving. He was just telling me that even though I am retired, it still is better to retain your military bearing. I do have a little "rebel" in me, but after careful consideration, this is not the time or place for it. -
#6 by Hingatao on 23 Apr, 2013 11:04
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I sported a full beard for a few years starting when I was 18. Then I took it down to a goatee. I shaved that off about 25 years ago. I didn't mourn it then and I don't miss it now.
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#7 by baldjoeg on 23 Apr, 2013 11:10
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Good for you SIr Harry foir agreeing to go to the ball with your ex step daughtrer. Thaat says a lot about you and why she asked you to go with her.
Sorry to hear about having to shave your beard. As you said, You can grow it back the way you want it to be. -
#8 by mrzed on 23 Apr, 2013 16:56
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Only shaved my beard once in 1977. The school I was attending did not permit beards at that time. Things have changed. They now permit beards, with some reasonable restrictions. It can't be wild and wooly/straggly looking.
Good choice to take your daughter out on a date!
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#9 by bella on 24 Apr, 2013 07:02
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I think by shaving the beard you are doing more than you know for your (former step) daughter.
Families are what we make of them. I still love my late father tremendously, but my stepdad has been more of a father to me than my real dad ever was (I was 16 when he came into my life and 18 when my dad died, so not a little kid). I trust him more than almost anyone else, and I know he'd do almost anything for me or my mother.
She may not get the sacrifice now but she will someday, and it will probably mean the world to her. -
#10 by warhawk on 24 Apr, 2013 11:08
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Hi Harry: I love your aunt's response. When you get rid of the beard... I think you should take the stache off and go with the clean shaven look.
WARHAWK
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#11 by Beardman on 25 Apr, 2013 21:47
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G'day Harry, I mourned the day I shaved my first full beard down to a van dyke after a slip with the razor, and I've mourned it every time I've trimmed it down in the past for various reasons, but at the end of the day mate, it will certainly grow back and as you said, you can then grow it how you want!
As for the mo' Just save that to last and if you like the look of the mo' keep it, or else just shave it off. Personally I'd probably just shave it all off, but I've never just wore a mo'
Good on you for being the bigger man though! Your former step daughter must think very highly of you, so kudos too you! -
#12 by Sir Harry on 26 Apr, 2013 03:44
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Thanks everyone for the support and responses! I shaved the beard and no-guarded the moustache, and amazingly, everyone says I look younger! FWIW, I had a couple of drinks before shaving it which made it easier
. The dress blues are ready and so am I! Will let you folks know how it went in a future post.
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#13 by mrzed on 26 Apr, 2013 04:39
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Post a picture from the ball?
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#14 by Sir Harry on 26 Apr, 2013 04:55
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Sure! The ball is Saturday (27th) night.