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days of insecurity by MarkusToe on 09 Feb, 2013 03:26
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so I am in almost two weeks now and so far my confidence was rising slowly but constantly - I didn't shave the last 3 days just for convenience and my mother and father said it looks better with at least a little hair - so now I'm feeling a little insecure again, has anyone of you had such days and how did you deal with it?
here's a photo of my freshly shaved head, its strange, but shaving really makes me feel better (looking) - and please notice that great jimi hendrix poster
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#1 by Rob-Raz on 09 Feb, 2013 04:51
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Quote
shaving really makes me feel better (looking)
This. I have been shaving for a while now and still love the feel and look of a fresh shave. What matters most is how you feel. It has only been two weeks, they have been used to you with hair for YEARS!! Eventually, your happiness with yourself will win them over. -
#2 by bella on 09 Feb, 2013 04:52
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Opinions are like asses, everyone has got one
If shaving makes you feel better looking, forget the stubble encouragement. I still find your eyes and eyebrows are quite strong and you're very dashing when freshly shaved.
I've been up to this for almost 3 weeks and the insecurity comes and goes. At the end of the day, I feel best when I do what I want and embrace the look I've chosen.
Hair feels very personal, as does shaving; I'm trying very hard to treat it like clothing: if my mom said she didn't love my shirt, I'd shrug it off.
When I get really insecure I come here or spend some mirror time with myself and remind myself that I like how I look and that's what matters.
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#3 by isleepinthebuff on 09 Feb, 2013 07:12
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Markus, it depends on a few things. I think you suit a freshly shaved head far more than the hair you first had when you arrived as it was obvious you were losing it. Being bald does suit you.
for me I like to be freshly smooth mainly because after a couple of days of growth, as my hair is dark, I get a shadow and that's when I start to feel less confident. It's not so much for me about the front and the receeding area, it's what I call the helipad - the circular bald spot at the back of my head. When I have a slight fuzz growing it's that you can see. I start to wonder if people notice it and then get the razor out!
However I see guys with 0 and 1's graded haircuts and you can still tell they buzz short because of their hairline so to me they are still sly as they are taking control of their baldness. They perhaps have a different set of insecurities to me and don't feel the need to be totally smooth and shadow free to be confident! so a buzzcut may work for you if it leaves you feeling confident!
Mothers tend to like the things we don't, it's in their contract! Base your decisions on what works for you -
#4 by MarkusToe on 09 Feb, 2013 07:58
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I think its just hard that everyone suddenly has an opinion about your looks and everyone feels like its their right to tell you! Beign the center of everyones attention can be stressfull and being judged is never very pleasant
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#5 by isleepinthebuff on 09 Feb, 2013 08:14
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It isn't but people will get used to it. It's a new look and people are bound to comment
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#6 by Mikekoz13 on 09 Feb, 2013 09:31
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Hi Markus-
That confidence that you're seeking, and hoping to maintain, has nothing to do with how much hair is or is not on your head.
That confidence can only come from within. You have to know what you are about. What you believe in, what kind of guy you are, what do you do when nobody else is watching. Figure yourself out and that confidence will soar.
The shaving of a receding hair line is only one tool to help you find that everyday confidence that you seek. MAking that decision to shave that bad hairline is a small part of figuring out what you are about.... and that's why it makes you feel a bit more confident.
Stand tall my Friend. -
#7 by benlen on 09 Feb, 2013 11:03
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my mother and father said it looks better with at least a little hair - so now I'm feeling a little insecure again, has anyone of you had such days and how did you deal with it?
Marcus, you're a little older than me (if memory serves) but parents of our generation are ALWAYS like that, mine being no exception. Trust me, the people your own age will think it looks better shaved than with thin hair. -
#8 by baldjoeg on 09 Feb, 2013 11:15
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Markus,
You look great sly. Hang in there. It will only get better and your confidence will grow.
Well said Saintc and Mikekoz. -
#9 by BillOnBass on 09 Feb, 2013 11:40
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Hi Markus,
Most of us younger guys know what it's like to have our parents' disapproval toward our shaved heads. My dad was indifferent (he's got more hair on top than I do, lol), but my mom would give me a few passing comments every now and then about how I would look better with a little bit of hair (buzzed).
I only kept my #1 buzz for one week before shaving because I didn't care to have a well-developed horseshoe at 23. I just told her how that look was unacceptable to me at that age. The comments only lasted about a month and I haven't gotten a single word about my hair for 4 years. Just give it a little more time. Your parents will see how happy you are with a shaved dome and being happy is what they want for you.
Nice Jimi poster! -
#10 by MarkusToe on 09 Feb, 2013 11:59
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Your parents will see how happy you are with a shaved dome and being happy is what they want for you.
maybe you are right, it just bothers me that almost all relatives I met in the last days (except two) asked me if I really want to keep it that way???
that was a reaction I got very often, but as you sad, a horseshoe is so not acceptable for me too
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#11 by Razor X on 09 Feb, 2013 14:18
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... a horseshoe is so not acceptable for me too
So there's your answer. Remind yourself of that during moments of doubt -- which are quite normal in the early stages. -
#12 by D.A.L.U.I. on 09 Feb, 2013 16:57
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here's a photo of my freshly shaved head, its strange, but shaving really makes me feel better (looking) - and please notice that great jimi hendrix poster
With good reason you feel better looking--when was the last time you ever saw any guy with a dying mop that looked happy, healthy and truly confident? -
#13 by bella on 09 Feb, 2013 17:31
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For some awful reasons relatives feel like they can be rude and say insane stuff to us.
Take everything they say with a grain of salt, process quickly and then dismiss!
If my family had their way I'd have 4+ kids, live in the heartland and be wearing huge fluffy bangs. Thank god they don't get a say!
I let my relatives get under my skin, but it's not their right. We both need to stand up for ourselves! -
#14 by kalbo on 09 Feb, 2013 19:17
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Hi Markus. I am a basically shy person but I get an extra boost of confidence when I am freshly shaved smooth. You have a great head shape and should be proud to show it off. I take every opinion in stride, what matters is how you feel about yourself. Nice poster by the way.